Hi ladies,

I know is early. But as I'm from overseas, there's been talk with my family on when should my mom come over to give us a hand. I'm the first born, and the first one to have a baby, so everybody is overwhelmed. Even my MIL wants to come asap, but I told her that I would prefer my mom at the outset. My MIL is from Finland and I don't speak the language.

I'm a rather private person and told my parents I need at least a week to be with baby and my oh. I think the first moments, even if difficult, should be shared with the new forming family.

But now, the more I read about birth and all possible case scenarios, I'm feeling like I want my mom before the birth due date.... It's soo daunting not to have my support network nearby.

Any thoughts on this are more than welcome.

I cant really help much as i've always had my parents near by but what i can say is that i dont know how i would have coped if my mum was not there for me. she was there for the birth, personal choice, with my dh and i relied on her help and advice the weeks that followed!
Of course that was us and i know alot of people who like to be left alone as a family unit to bond for the first few days so it really is a decision that only you and your oh can make.
What ever way you go im sure with your oh you will be fine wether you have your mum over early of a week or so after the birth, goodluck, i hope it all works out well for you. x

Hubby's mom and Nan are in the UK and we're in the US... They'll be flying in the day before we're due and will hang around a week. We're hoping that I either give birth right before they get here or while they are here so they get to see the baby. This will be their first and only.

I live in London with my OH and my parents are both in Australia, I too am the first/oldest daughter and the first to have a grandchild for my side of the family.
Unfortunately my folks/mum won't be flying over at all so am goig to have to go it alone (with OH) which while seems kinda scary now, I'm sure when the time comes we'll just get on with it as there isn't much of a choice.

Hi,
my mum is coming over from Italy before the birth. As I am due 3rd Jan she is coming for Christmas. I don't get on with her that much but the baby will her first grandchild unless my SIL doesn't give birth first (she is due 30th Jan) and she cried when I told her I was expecting as she had given up hope

I am lucky because my MIL is lovely and she leaves really near us and she already told me that she will be always be there for me when I need it

It's your choice really...........

Hi, my mum lives in Hungary, my MIL and FIL in the US and we are in Belgium. Also first baby and first grandchild on both sides. All the future grandparents work, so it is also a holiday issue.

My EDD is 22 November, and my mum will probably come beginning of december for a week or so to help out a bit with the house. MIL and FIL, as well as SIL all coming over for Christmas for a week or so.

OH will get 10 days of paternity leave, plus a compulsory shut-down around xmas, so he'll probably be there from birth till New Years'. We will have a very busy first month, and I hope we'll get some quiet family time in it. I think the ardest will be the one or two weeks before EDD, when I most probably will be sitting at home by myself waiting for the labour to start. I wish my mum could be there for that, but she doesn't have that much holidays left, and she's more excited about the LO than me - which is understandable.

Hey. I'm in the UK now but my family is scattered all over with my Mom and Dad in Canada. My OH is wonderful and very excited but we're both scared bc we have absolutely no baby experience. My MIL and FIL are not really involved although they only live abt an hour away so my parents are going to try to come a week before EDD and my Dad will stay for another week after the birth and my Mom will stay hopefully for 2 weeks after the birth. They understand that we will need some time to bond so they have said that they will take a step back and just do whatever they can to help without interfering which is great. Although we are used to our privacy and independance I'm sure that we'll be grateful for the help at such a special, stressful time! Also, this will be the first grandchild and my parents are soooo excited (they never thought that we would have children) so I'd feel very selfish if I said I didn't want them to come x Good luck. It's nice to know that there are others in the same situation.

Hi there, my mum and MIL both live in Morocco and I live in the UK. I'm the oldest and only girl, and this will be the first grandchild from my side of the family, so it's obviously a big deal for my parents.

My mum keeps insisting that I will need her by my side in the weeks leading to the delivery, but I've decided that I will allow myself and OH some quiet quality time with the baby before the extended family comes to visit (Moroccans don't do one-week visits, my mum will stay with me for four weeks and then my FIL and MIL will visit for three weeks).
My rationale is that I'm planning to work up until a week before EDD, then I'll have a week or so to get ready, and then OH will be off for two weeks on Paternity leave after the delivery. I therefore won't be on my own much.

As others have said, you go with what you think is best for you...

Thank you very much for your comments and support ladies.

I've been even having dreams and nightmares about being on my own, but also about arguing with my mom. Indeed, as I'm from Mexico, my family would also make long trips. My mom would stay for four weeks indeed. That is why I'm like 'what's the best decision to make?' My parents in law will also come, but might only stay for a week at the time. They are very lovely, and as long as the oh is around, i can communicate with them.

I'll think a bit more on this. I do think its important to initially bond with the baby, and then to have my mom to help us around. Yet, I'm truly more concern about myself!

Yesterday, talking with my dh, he said he'll be there for me and the baby... not just for the baby. This is indeed reassuring.

My thing is, all my life I've made my moves independently from my family. Still, this life-changing-thing (baby) is making me feel like I may not be able to handle it...

Sorry if I'm showing so much insecurity at this point. Probably it is because I was visiting my family and extended family recently....

I know how you feel and I have the same worry. I have always been very indipendent and since I came to England I don't seem to be able to spend one whole day with my mum without arguing.......but I am thinking my DH will be working long hours under Christmas as it will be the busiest time where he works and I am not sure I want to be on my own at home, feeling huge and scared...at least I can order my mum around

I can see the fireworks already...hmm not sure is a good idea anymore

She will stay for more then 4 weeks because of my SIL but hopefully after 2 weeks she will go at hers.....