so scared of being alone

vix1989 · Jul 9th, 2009, 11:31 AM

hi girls
well this is the thing... when i was pregnant with my son me and my OH was having a really rocky relationship, he was always leaving me to go with his mates we were arguing a lot and i was very paranoid, to cut a long story short he dumped me at 38 weeks pregnant.
I had to move back in with my mum i was heartbroken i cried everyday for about 2weeks, but then we agreed that when the baby was born we would be back ogether in our new house blah blah blah, and thats what we did.
Turns out he was scared about being a dad and scared about all the responsobility thats why he wussed out.
We was brilliant, he grew up got a job, we was the perfect family no rows or anything

since i got pregnant with our second ive been so scared that hes gunna leave me again, its like im scared to do anything that he dosent like incase i get left alone again while being pregnant.
we had a bit of a row before he left for work because i was moody because i am very uncomfortable and in pain, so i rang him up on his break to say sorry and he just said all right ok then ill get going bye and that was it! like he was trying to get rid of me or something!

he keeps making inappropriate jokes about my sister (obviously shes pretty more outgoing and a laugh) and doing flirty banter and ive told him to stop but he says he isnt doing anything! he dosent even realise it when hes doing it! and ive told her to stop too!
the other night we were in bed talking and i was on about an operation my sister was having on her foo foo (lady parts) and he came out with this comment that disgusted me it was "But i thought she wore thongs and g strings not granny knickers (i wear what he calls granny knickers coz there comfy) and i was like how the hell would you know that? and his reply was she just seems the type?! LIKE I DONT FEEL DISGUSTING ENOUGH!
IM SOOOOOO SORRY I DONT FEEL LIKE WEARING SOMETHING MAKING ME MORE UNCOMFY
i know hes not being serious hes just doing it coz he knows he gets a reaction but im sick of it.

iam so scared that hes gunna leave me, or leave me for a much better model!
a much slimmer, non stretch mark, non greasy haired stylish girl, im starting to get so paranoid!
its driving me mad, even tho he claims hes not interested in anyone else i still cant help feeling this way... is anyone else feeling this way?

purpledahlia · Jul 9th, 2009, 11:40 AM

aw hun, i think you two need a babymoon! you need to tell him all these insecurities. Maybe he does feel a bit scared, but at the end of the day your the mother of two of his kids.. he cant just walk away with it. i woudl talk to your sister too, she should understand and back off...? good luck x

Buffy71 · Jul 9th, 2009, 11:49 AM

Aw - great advice from Purpledahlia there. you poor girly - its horrid when you just cant get these thoughts out of your head - and it sounds like he's not helping either. twit.

Tell him how upset he makes you when he says these things, and then drop it. If you keep bringing it up it makes it a big deal, if you can laugh it off (tough as I know that will be hun) he'll probably forget about it. Its a silly throw away comment about her knickers and he should save comments about other ladies knickers for when he's with the boys, not hte love of his life and mother of his children.

Big hugs.xxxx

Szaffi · Jul 9th, 2009, 11:57 AM

It is natural that it becomes hard to keep up your confidence while pregnant. (I know, I get hurt every time OH even just checks out some hot girl on the street). As for the panty comment, tell him to try to wear a thong for a day or 2, and he'll see that yours is a sensible choice

vix1989 · Jul 9th, 2009, 12:00 PM

ive told him my thoughts he just grins at me like ive said something funny and says im being stupid and when i start to cry he calls me a baby (not as a joke either) he just seems to be trying his hardest to annoy me!

Buffy71 · Jul 9th, 2009, 12:02 PM

try to make it humourous? wear a thong on your head when he comes home from work?

I'm usually extremely unfazed by pretty women or gorgeous girls hanging around my hubby but I actually had a dream that he'd been unfaithful last night. (he never would be - he's a lovely guy) still made me feel like crap when I woke up from the dream though. You know how you get a kind of hangover emotionally from dreams.

vix1989 · Jul 9th, 2009, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buffy71

try to make it humourous? wear a thong on your head when he comes home from work?

I'm usually extremely unfazed by pretty women or gorgeous girls hanging around my hubby but I actually had a dream that he'd been unfaithful last night. (he never would be - he's a lovely guy) still made me feel like crap when I woke up from the dream though. You know how you get a kind of hangover emotionally from dreams.

yer ive had those dreams lol they arent nice especially when the seems real lol
you are so lucky to be unfazed lol i wish i could be like that maybe i need to grow up.
i just dont feel like im good enough for him right now, i feel embarassed to go out with him because people will think wats he doing with HER!
i actually feel ashamed of myself if im walking down the street, and i dont think he likes it when i hold his hand so im just usually trudging a foot behind

Buffy71 · Jul 9th, 2009, 12:17 PM

Oh sweety! you have a serious fit of the blues and you need something to boost your self esteem. I know money's tight when we're expecting, but how about buying a nice new lippy or do you have a friend who's a hairdresser who could give you a bit of a nice hair do, have a bit of a pamper day at home. Make yourself feel lovely.

We went to a wedding a few weeks ago and I was dreading it as I've been feeling so drab and dull, but got hubby to bugger off for an hour and a half to give me time to myself, did myself up how I would if I wasnt preggers (which I hadnt done since I fell preggers) and he looked at me how he did before I started growing our little babs. I felt fab and it made all the difference.

I know its tough to find time as you have your gorgeous little one, could your mum or a friend or someone take him off your hands so you can be Vix1989 and not mum for a couple of hours?

xxx

vix1989 · Jul 9th, 2009, 12:24 PM

no i dont have much family and they all work or have their own family.
im a hairdresser lol but no-one that is a hairdresser, were going away on holiday in a month to a caravan so hopefully that might help me chill out for a bit thanks for you support buffy71

Buffy71 · Jul 9th, 2009, 12:52 PM

Ah that's what you need - nice little family hols for some good ol' quality time.

Big hugs hun.
xxx

Jul 9th, 2009, 11:31 AM	#1
vix1989 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: East yorkshire, england Posts: 6,200	so scared of being alone hi girls well this is the thing... when i was pregnant with my son me and my OH was having a really rocky relationship, he was always leaving me to go with his mates we were arguing a lot and i was very paranoid, to cut a long story short he dumped me at 38 weeks pregnant. I had to move back in with my mum i was heartbroken i cried everyday for about 2weeks, but then we agreed that when the baby was born we would be back ogether in our new house blah blah blah, and thats what we did. Turns out he was scared about being a dad and scared about all the responsobility thats why he wussed out. We was brilliant, he grew up got a job, we was the perfect family no rows or anything since i got pregnant with our second ive been so scared that hes gunna leave me again, its like im scared to do anything that he dosent like incase i get left alone again while being pregnant. we had a bit of a row before he left for work because i was moody because i am very uncomfortable and in pain, so i rang him up on his break to say sorry and he just said all right ok then ill get going bye and that was it! like he was trying to get rid of me or something! he keeps making inappropriate jokes about my sister (obviously shes pretty more outgoing and a laugh) and doing flirty banter and ive told him to stop but he says he isnt doing anything! he dosent even realise it when hes doing it! and ive told her to stop too! the other night we were in bed talking and i was on about an operation my sister was having on her foo foo (lady parts) and he came out with this comment that disgusted me it was "But i thought she wore thongs and g strings not granny knickers (i wear what he calls granny knickers coz there comfy) and i was like how the hell would you know that? and his reply was she just seems the type?! LIKE I DONT FEEL DISGUSTING ENOUGH! IM SOOOOOO SORRY I DONT FEEL LIKE WEARING SOMETHING MAKING ME MORE UNCOMFY i know hes not being serious hes just doing it coz he knows he gets a reaction but im sick of it. iam so scared that hes gunna leave me, or leave me for a much better model! a much slimmer, non stretch mark, non greasy haired stylish girl, im starting to get so paranoid! its driving me mad, even tho he claims hes not interested in anyone else i still cant help feeling this way... is anyone else feeling this way?

Status: Offline

Jul 9th, 2009, 11:40 AM	#2
purpledahlia Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 14,871	aw hun, i think you two need a babymoon! you need to tell him all these insecurities. Maybe he does feel a bit scared, but at the end of the day your the mother of two of his kids.. he cant just walk away with it. i woudl talk to your sister too, she should understand and back off...? good luck x

Status: Offline

Jul 9th, 2009, 11:49 AM	#3
Buffy71 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: London Posts: 4,904	Aw - great advice from Purpledahlia there. you poor girly - its horrid when you just cant get these thoughts out of your head - and it sounds like he's not helping either. twit. Tell him how upset he makes you when he says these things, and then drop it. If you keep bringing it up it makes it a big deal, if you can laugh it off (tough as I know that will be hun) he'll probably forget about it. Its a silly throw away comment about her knickers and he should save comments about other ladies knickers for when he's with the boys, not hte love of his life and mother of his children. Big hugs.xxxx

Status: Offline

Jul 9th, 2009, 11:57 AM	#4
Szaffi Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Brussels, Belgium Posts: 1,959	It is natural that it becomes hard to keep up your confidence while pregnant. (I know, I get hurt every time OH even just checks out some hot girl on the street). As for the panty comment, tell him to try to wear a thong for a day or 2, and he'll see that yours is a sensible choice

Status: Offline

Jul 9th, 2009, 12:00 PM	#5
vix1989 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: East yorkshire, england Posts: 6,200	ive told him my thoughts he just grins at me like ive said something funny and says im being stupid and when i start to cry he calls me a baby (not as a joke either) he just seems to be trying his hardest to annoy me!

Status: Offline

Jul 9th, 2009, 12:02 PM	#6
Buffy71 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: London Posts: 4,904	try to make it humourous? wear a thong on your head when he comes home from work? I'm usually extremely unfazed by pretty women or gorgeous girls hanging around my hubby but I actually had a dream that he'd been unfaithful last night. (he never would be - he's a lovely guy) still made me feel like crap when I woke up from the dream though. You know how you get a kind of hangover emotionally from dreams.

Status: Offline

Jul 9th, 2009, 12:17 PM	#8
Buffy71 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: London Posts: 4,904	Oh sweety! you have a serious fit of the blues and you need something to boost your self esteem. I know money's tight when we're expecting, but how about buying a nice new lippy or do you have a friend who's a hairdresser who could give you a bit of a nice hair do, have a bit of a pamper day at home. Make yourself feel lovely. We went to a wedding a few weeks ago and I was dreading it as I've been feeling so drab and dull, but got hubby to bugger off for an hour and a half to give me time to myself, did myself up how I would if I wasnt preggers (which I hadnt done since I fell preggers) and he looked at me how he did before I started growing our little babs. I felt fab and it made all the difference. I know its tough to find time as you have your gorgeous little one, could your mum or a friend or someone take him off your hands so you can be Vix1989 and not mum for a couple of hours? xxx

Status: Offline

Jul 9th, 2009, 12:24 PM	#9
vix1989 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: East yorkshire, england Posts: 6,200	no i dont have much family and they all work or have their own family. im a hairdresser lol but no-one that is a hairdresser, were going away on holiday in a month to a caravan so hopefully that might help me chill out for a bit thanks for you support buffy71

Status: Offline

Jul 9th, 2009, 12:52 PM	#10
Buffy71 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: London Posts: 4,904	Ah that's what you need - nice little family hols for some good ol' quality time. Big hugs hun. xxx

Status: Offline

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