Pregnancy - Second Trimester

vix1989 · Jul 5th, 2009, 15:01 PM

hiya girls
i feel so miserable!
When i was pregnant with my first my OH adam couldnt get enough of me ( i dont mean to sound up myself but he wanted me nearly everyday) but ive heard some men get like that!
He was always cuddling me couldnt keep hes hands off me, so therefore i wasnt down about the way i looked it made me feel sexy.

But with this pregnancy it couldnt be any more different!
before i fell pregnant he wanted it all the time to get me pregnant hed been nagging for ages if we could have a new addition to the family.
Now he dosent seem to want me at all
if i make a bit of an effort he dosent seem to notice!
Were going on holiday next month to a caravan and hes been nagging his mum to come along with his younger sister, and he started saying to her "dont worry we wont be having sex"
and the other day i asked him why we hadnt had sex in a while (its been a month) and his reply was "because your at that stage"
IM ONLY 23 WEEKS!!!!
in other words " your at the stage were i cant bear to look at you never mind touch you"

and last week (sorry if this is TMI) we were laid in bed ready to sleep and he starts hugging me from behind and i was happy because he hasnt hugged me in bed in a long time, and without embarrassing anyone he started making moves so i turned round to accept his erm....actions and he suddenly went OK NIGHT!!! and i was like what the hell are you on about ? you was just wanting it now you dont? and his excuse was ive just showered! as if im something gross and i cried myself to sleep coz i felt so repulsed by myself.
He seems really distant with me and when i go to grab his hand in public he pulls this face were he rolls his eyes and his hand is really slack when im trying to hold it.
ive asked him about it and he denied hes being like this!
im sorry its a huge rant i just dont have anyone to talk to about it.
im so insecure right now.

SummerStars · Jul 5th, 2009, 15:35 PM

Oh hun, don't feel bad about yourself, 9 out of 10 times that isn't the reason at all.

Maybe you could sit him down and tell him you can't put it off anymore, you are starting to feel really insecure about yourself and you just want to know what the problem is?

vix1989 · Jul 5th, 2009, 16:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SummerStars

Oh hun, don't feel bad about yourself, 9 out of 10 times that isn't the reason at all.

Maybe you could sit him down and tell him you can't put it off anymore, you are starting to feel really insecure about yourself and you just want to know what the problem is?

yer i have and he just says sorry ill try not to make you feel that way but nothing really changes

Seraphim · Jul 5th, 2009, 16:13 PM

twists183 · Jul 5th, 2009, 17:43 PM

I'm certainly no expert when it comes to insecurities and how to deal with them but maybe you need to identify yourself how you feel. You shouldn't need him to make you feel sexy, screw him, you did't need him last time he just happened to have helped.

If you want to feel sexy, you do it, go online and buy something sexy for YOU not him, try
http://www.hotmilklingerie.co.nz//uk
Or go and get a nice new outfit that makes you feel gorgeous and proud of your bump. Then, when you're feeling totally empowered, tell him you want to show off your new underwear and see how he reacts...then jump on in.

I don't want to take his side but sometimes we women do expect them to make all the moves when we're feeling insecure. We get worried and down and then want them to do everything to make us feel better. But we don't need them. You can be the sexy lady, you've just got a sexy bump. Maybe he;s feeling insecure too and just needs to know it's ok, you've got a sex drive still and you still fancy a bit of

Maybe he has reasons but you'll not get them out of him feeling insecure and worried yourself because you're only looking for the worst excuse (and don;t try to tell me you haven't decided he's gone off you and is thinking of someone else, I would be and I'm equally insecure and paranoid too at times!).

Good luck sugar and you go va va voom yourself then ride that cowboy!

Wombat · Jul 5th, 2009, 19:17 PM

Well hun, I would say 2 year old toddler makes a HUGE difference! (We have one ourselves!)

When I was pregnant with our first we had sex twice a day almoust till the end. Every day...

Now............ If we are at it once a week it is a progress.

Maybe your OH is tired, maybe he read some sort of "bloke" info that sex harms the baby. Who knows?

Not having sex doesn't bother me much, but if it bothers you I would deffo talk to your OH

HotChocolate · Jul 5th, 2009, 19:39 PM

Every woman deserves compliments and yes you should be getting plenty of attention from him, he's your man! I'd be just as insecure as you, i am at times because my OH is exactly the same. But he doesn't meen anything by it.. I think us women just look into things and expect the worst.
You shouldn't let him know that you're feeling down and depressed, men love sexy, confident women. (and i'm sure that's what you are.. you're just feeling a little vulnerable right now and that's okay!) Go out and buy yourself something cheap and cheerful and make him realise what he's missing out on, and believe me.. HE WILL!

Good luck and remain positive sweetie xx

vix1989 · Jul 5th, 2009, 22:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twists183

I'm certainly no expert when it comes to insecurities and how to deal with them but maybe you need to identify yourself how you feel. You shouldn't need him to make you feel sexy, screw him, you did't need him last time he just happened to have helped.

If you want to feel sexy, you do it, go online and buy something sexy for YOU not him, try
http://www.hotmilklingerie.co.nz//uk
Or go and get a nice new outfit that makes you feel gorgeous and proud of your bump. Then, when you're feeling totally empowered, tell him you want to show off your new underwear and see how he reacts...then jump on in.

I don't want to take his side but sometimes we women do expect them to make all the moves when we're feeling insecure. We get worried and down and then want them to do everything to make us feel better. But we don't need them. You can be the sexy lady, you've just got a sexy bump. Maybe he;s feeling insecure too and just needs to know it's ok, you've got a sex drive still and you still fancy a bit of

Maybe he has reasons but you'll not get them out of him feeling insecure and worried yourself because you're only looking for the worst excuse (and don;t try to tell me you haven't decided he's gone off you and is thinking of someone else, I would be and I'm equally insecure and paranoid too at times!).

Good luck sugar and you go va va voom yourself then ride that cowboy!

Thanks for the tips! lol
i know i probably do expect maybe too much off him but most of the times when i make moves he says no and i feel and look stupid!
when ive gone down the sexy underwear root thats not turned out too well...
like i bought a la senza bra set i thought hed love it, but when i asked him to come upstairs (obviously to show him) he got embarrassed and raised his eyebrowns and went downstairs to watch tv THAT WAS IT!
i just dont believe im desirable anymore especially already had one child and having another.
and yes it has crossed my mind that maybe hes getting it somewhere else... but i trust him (dont tell him

) 100%. and thats the last thing i want to start worrying about

jlon · Jul 5th, 2009, 23:44 PM

I have some hot milk lingerie and it is amazing! Such support for a non-wired bra.

I also don't think that the sexy underwear should necessarily be for your man - its more for you and your state of mind! I haven't even had a chance to errr show off my new underwear or anything yet, but my mood this week has been great and I feel great. If you feel great about yourself, bet you don't even care if your husband looks at you or not..which will prob make him want you more!

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