Im in that phase

vix1989 · Jun 26th, 2009, 12:03 PM

hi girls!
im feeling very low today it mainly started last night.
It hit me that im 20 years old with my 2nd on the way!
my body already looks a state with stretch marks and lumps and bumps and i think saggier boobies (OH says i dont but im sure they are more south)
i just thought what have i done to myself i love my babies to peices and wouldnt change a thing but i see young svelt girls going out with no responsibilitiesand wearing nice clothes and immaclate hair and make up, and then theres me withjoggy pants on and my oh's top on because they are all that fit me at the mo and greay hair and spotty.

i also just had a row with my sister she came down to see me, and i feel like shes chipping away at me everytime.
For example i fell out with my dad because he didnt send my son a birthday ard on his first birthday so we had a huge row and it turned out he slagged me off calling me a disappointment.
Shes just got back in touch with him and keeps telling me hes so proud of her coz she has her own car,job,nice house and loaded bf, oh and 7 month old daughter.
if i rewind 3 years she used to live with my mum treat her like crap sleep with a different lad every night get drunk dabble in drugs and wouldnt go to school, this was before she even turned 17!
where as i did my exams at school worked hard,went straight to college and did 2 years of hairdressing and worked my arse off, but then i fell pregnant with my first so i wanted to be a full time mum and now im pregnant now.

today she was telling me shes got her mate to do her and my mums hair, when she knows full well i can do it and i really need the money but she pulled a face and went "well shes been doing it a year longer then you and she works part time in a salon so she knows what shes doing"
I KNOW WHAT IM DOING I HAVE THE PORTFOLIO AND CERTIFICATES TO PROOVE IT!!!!!
my Oh didnt even stick up for me he just laughed along with her!
and right now i feel so worthless because all im good for is sitting at home cooking cleaning and bringing up kids!
im sorry to moan i just have nobody to tell this too

MrsChamberlin · Jun 26th, 2009, 12:14 PM

First off hun..

I can totally relate... I am 23 years old and have number 3 on the way. I am a stay at home mom and have been for over a year now, with a lot to go seeing as there is a baby on the way.
At times I feel like I am doing nothing... totally worthless... But I am the back bone of my family... Without me no one would get a decent meal, clean clothes, off to school, clean sheets... blah blah blah. I am the strength.
You have to start looking at it that way hun...
Us stay at home moms do A LOT... more than people realize.

vix1989 · Jun 26th, 2009, 12:16 PM

but i dont feel like i do enough if a disappeared tomorrow every1 would carry on like normal.
thanks for your support tho!

craftymum · Jun 26th, 2009, 12:46 PM

big

to you hun, I was 19 when I had my 1st and in a really violent relationship so when I ended up alone I was terrified and really depressed. But it was great being a young Mum too and my daughter used to think I was cool (she's 16 now so I'm no longer cool) now I'm 35 with my 2nd on the way and I'm as scared as ever and still have all the same worried about my body etc as I got loads of stretch marks first time but I promise you they do fade in time and with a bit of exercise and fake tan you can look just as fab as anyone. It's probably the pregnancy hormones as well making you feel so bad. Once your baby is born you will feel a lot better and you'll still be able to get yourself all glammed up for the odd night out. Treat yourself now to a nice hairdo and maybe manicure or something just to cheer yourself up and think of all the fab clothes you can buy after.

craftymum · Jun 26th, 2009, 12:48 PM

ps tell your oh how bad that your sis makes you feel and that you feel really hurt that he didn't stick up for you, chances are he doesn't realise how bad you're feeling about this

Duffy · Jun 26th, 2009, 13:16 PM

(hugs) Being a stay at home mom is a FULL TIME JOB, seri..... you guys should get paid for what you do and vacations LOL!

As for your dad sometimes its in peoples nature to cut you down and make you feel bad or worthless about yourself/life. My only advice to you.... if your feeling bad about your body get in shape, if your dad a donkey butt to you then cut him out of your life, make life changes that benfit you and make you happy, we only have one life we should make the best out of it we can. Hugs and support to you I Hope you feel better soon about yourself/dad/sister/bf.

FemmeEnceinte · Jun 26th, 2009, 13:21 PM

I'd tell that OH of yours off for a start! Laughing indeed! He needs to support you so let him know how you're feeling and that you found it upsetting. As for your sister, she doesn't sound very kind or mature. Same goes for your father. Unfortunately family are never what you think they should be and, if they're anything like mine, are a constant strain and disappointment. You don't have to put up with it though, just tell them where to stick it and get on with your own lovely family.

As for your looks, you'll look fabulous in your 30s and 40s because you're young now and your body will recover better than those women having babies later on (no offence to those who are) so, while it might be their time to look good now, we can shine later on!

Snowball · Jun 26th, 2009, 13:27 PM

I'm 23 with our 4thbaby on the way (our 3rd was born sleeping).

At times I look back and wonder if I'd like my carefree life back. I look at old schoolfriends on Facebook going out partying every weekend and wonder if I miss it. However I don't think when I was out drunk on Saturday nights and then throwing my guts up with a banging head on Sunday morning I was truely happy. To me it was my transistion phase whilst I was lonely and single looking for someone.

I went through a really bad patch when we lost our son, wondered why I'd put myself through having babies when losing him was so so hard. However I look at my OH and my kids and I know I wouldn't change it for any other lifestyle. It's so rewarding raising our kids, seeing them learn. Look for the positives because you'll find loads

ahava · Jun 26th, 2009, 13:38 PM

i just wanted to say im 42 with no.1 on the way after 5yrs trying. I just wanted to say that you are very lucky having children at a younger age, where you have more energy, more spirit, and a definate easier time . I only wish if I had time again, id have done it all earlier. Your body will snap back, and if it doesnt there are always options you can pursue on the nhs if in need. Keep your chin up you are doing a smashing job

MoonMuffin · Jun 26th, 2009, 15:29 PM

I'm 19 and pg with #2 (will be 20 well before #2 arrives though), and I know how you feel, I have a saggy pouch from #1 and stretch marks everywhere (arms, boobs, tummy, sides) and my boobs are much saggier (though DH swears they look great) and I was just starting to lose weight (had lost 12 lbs!) when I found out I was pg again. I still haven't told my parents, they love Kathryn to death but I don't want to hear from them how stupid I am for having another already, and get bugged by them all the time. They think we can't afford it, but we have everything we need (just need a few things like another crib and a double stroller) and by the time we need to start with preschool DH will be making more money and I'll have a children's book out (hopefully!) so that'll bring in some $, but I know they wont understand.
At least when we're bringing our kids to school (like in high school) we can gloat about how much younger we are/look then the other moms, they will all be envious of our good looks

Jun 26th, 2009, 12:03 PM	#1
vix1989 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: East yorkshire, england Posts: 6,199	Im in that phase hi girls! im feeling very low today it mainly started last night. It hit me that im 20 years old with my 2nd on the way! my body already looks a state with stretch marks and lumps and bumps and i think saggier boobies (OH says i dont but im sure they are more south) i just thought what have i done to myself i love my babies to peices and wouldnt change a thing but i see young svelt girls going out with no responsibilitiesand wearing nice clothes and immaclate hair and make up, and then theres me withjoggy pants on and my oh's top on because they are all that fit me at the mo and greay hair and spotty. i also just had a row with my sister she came down to see me, and i feel like shes chipping away at me everytime. For example i fell out with my dad because he didnt send my son a birthday ard on his first birthday so we had a huge row and it turned out he slagged me off calling me a disappointment. Shes just got back in touch with him and keeps telling me hes so proud of her coz she has her own car,job,nice house and loaded bf, oh and 7 month old daughter. if i rewind 3 years she used to live with my mum treat her like crap sleep with a different lad every night get drunk dabble in drugs and wouldnt go to school, this was before she even turned 17! where as i did my exams at school worked hard,went straight to college and did 2 years of hairdressing and worked my arse off, but then i fell pregnant with my first so i wanted to be a full time mum and now im pregnant now. today she was telling me shes got her mate to do her and my mums hair, when she knows full well i can do it and i really need the money but she pulled a face and went "well shes been doing it a year longer then you and she works part time in a salon so she knows what shes doing" I KNOW WHAT IM DOING I HAVE THE PORTFOLIO AND CERTIFICATES TO PROOVE IT!!!!! my Oh didnt even stick up for me he just laughed along with her! and right now i feel so worthless because all im good for is sitting at home cooking cleaning and bringing up kids! im sorry to moan i just have nobody to tell this too

Status: Online

Jun 26th, 2009, 12:16 PM	#3
vix1989 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: East yorkshire, england Posts: 6,199	but i dont feel like i do enough if a disappeared tomorrow every1 would carry on like normal. thanks for your support tho!

Status: Online

Jun 26th, 2009, 12:46 PM	#4
craftymum Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 2,345	big to you hun, I was 19 when I had my 1st and in a really violent relationship so when I ended up alone I was terrified and really depressed. But it was great being a young Mum too and my daughter used to think I was cool (she's 16 now so I'm no longer cool) now I'm 35 with my 2nd on the way and I'm as scared as ever and still have all the same worried about my body etc as I got loads of stretch marks first time but I promise you they do fade in time and with a bit of exercise and fake tan you can look just as fab as anyone. It's probably the pregnancy hormones as well making you feel so bad. Once your baby is born you will feel a lot better and you'll still be able to get yourself all glammed up for the odd night out. Treat yourself now to a nice hairdo and maybe manicure or something just to cheer yourself up and think of all the fab clothes you can buy after.

Status: Offline

Jun 26th, 2009, 12:48 PM	#5
craftymum Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 2,345	ps tell your oh how bad that your sis makes you feel and that you feel really hurt that he didn't stick up for you, chances are he doesn't realise how bad you're feeling about this

Status: Offline

Jun 26th, 2009, 13:16 PM	#6
Duffy Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1,964	(hugs) Being a stay at home mom is a FULL TIME JOB, seri..... you guys should get paid for what you do and vacations LOL! As for your dad sometimes its in peoples nature to cut you down and make you feel bad or worthless about yourself/life. My only advice to you.... if your feeling bad about your body get in shape, if your dad a donkey butt to you then cut him out of your life, make life changes that benfit you and make you happy, we only have one life we should make the best out of it we can. Hugs and support to you I Hope you feel better soon about yourself/dad/sister/bf.

Status: Offline

Jun 26th, 2009, 12:14 PM	#2
MrsChamberlin Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: New Richmond, WI Posts: 1,105	First off hun.. I can totally relate... I am 23 years old and have number 3 on the way. I am a stay at home mom and have been for over a year now, with a lot to go seeing as there is a baby on the way. At times I feel like I am doing nothing... totally worthless... But I am the back bone of my family... Without me no one would get a decent meal, clean clothes, off to school, clean sheets... blah blah blah. I am the strength. You have to start looking at it that way hun... Us stay at home moms do A LOT... more than people realize.

Status: Offline

Jun 26th, 2009, 13:21 PM	#7
FemmeEnceinte Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,903	I'd tell that OH of yours off for a start! Laughing indeed! He needs to support you so let him know how you're feeling and that you found it upsetting. As for your sister, she doesn't sound very kind or mature. Same goes for your father. Unfortunately family are never what you think they should be and, if they're anything like mine, are a constant strain and disappointment. You don't have to put up with it though, just tell them where to stick it and get on with your own lovely family. As for your looks, you'll look fabulous in your 30s and 40s because you're young now and your body will recover better than those women having babies later on (no offence to those who are) so, while it might be their time to look good now, we can shine later on!

Status: Offline

Jun 26th, 2009, 13:27 PM	#8
Snowball Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,207	I'm 23 with our 4thbaby on the way (our 3rd was born sleeping). At times I look back and wonder if I'd like my carefree life back. I look at old schoolfriends on Facebook going out partying every weekend and wonder if I miss it. However I don't think when I was out drunk on Saturday nights and then throwing my guts up with a banging head on Sunday morning I was truely happy. To me it was my transistion phase whilst I was lonely and single looking for someone. I went through a really bad patch when we lost our son, wondered why I'd put myself through having babies when losing him was so so hard. However I look at my OH and my kids and I know I wouldn't change it for any other lifestyle. It's so rewarding raising our kids, seeing them learn. Look for the positives because you'll find loads

Status: Online

Jun 26th, 2009, 13:38 PM	#9
ahava Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: london Posts: 879	i just wanted to say im 42 with no.1 on the way after 5yrs trying. I just wanted to say that you are very lucky having children at a younger age, where you have more energy, more spirit, and a definate easier time . I only wish if I had time again, id have done it all earlier. Your body will snap back, and if it doesnt there are always options you can pursue on the nhs if in need. Keep your chin up you are doing a smashing job

Status: Offline

Jun 26th, 2009, 15:29 PM	#10
MoonMuffin Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Norwalk, CT Posts: 3,369	I'm 19 and pg with #2 (will be 20 well before #2 arrives though), and I know how you feel, I have a saggy pouch from #1 and stretch marks everywhere (arms, boobs, tummy, sides) and my boobs are much saggier (though DH swears they look great) and I was just starting to lose weight (had lost 12 lbs!) when I found out I was pg again. I still haven't told my parents, they love Kathryn to death but I don't want to hear from them how stupid I am for having another already, and get bugged by them all the time. They think we can't afford it, but we have everything we need (just need a few things like another crib and a double stroller) and by the time we need to start with preschool DH will be making more money and I'll have a children's book out (hopefully!) so that'll bring in some $, but I know they wont understand. At least when we're bringing our kids to school (like in high school) we can gloat about how much younger we are/look then the other moms, they will all be envious of our good looks

Status: Offline

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