KJunkie

My OH cheated on me. He told me yesterday, and it happened Saturday. I really don't know how I am supposed to feel about it ... I am kind of numb about it and I have refused to even think about it for the most part.

The sad thing was I wasn't even surprised. I suspected it anyway, and I am glad that he told me. I just am not sure what to do. Obviously, there are a lot of things that are keeping me here. But, I am just not sure if I should stay or not. I know I love him, and I always told myself I would atleast forgive him once. But, its different when you are facing the choice, you know?

I think it is actually starting to set in. Its hard to look at him right now, and know that he has potentially thrown everything we have away. I know he regrets it and that he knows it should not have happened. But ... I am just so confused. The past two days he has been very ill and I have been taking care of him so I think it has made me feel sympathetic towards him in some ways. But now that he is starting to feel better and can do more on his own ... I am starting to feel a ton of anger.

I know its normal ... but all I think about is slamming his head against the wall or slamming anything I can find against his head. Has anyone else been through this and still forgave your OH?? I want to work this out for our baby more than anything ... but I don't know if that is possible. Am I stupid for wanting that?

Becky

Didnt want to read and run hun. Do you think he would do it again? Its your decision at the end of the day! I was in a simular situation and it kept happening time and time again so I had to leave in the end hope the same doenst happen with you x

bexy_22

I'm so sorry hun personally I would throw his ass out onto the street, I believe in once a cheat always a cheat and I could never trust him again and trust is such an important foundation for a relationship. But that's just me. Luckily I've never had to deal with that situation so I suppose you do have mixed feelings. Hope you come up with something soon x

Natalie Flynn

My DH cheated last year and I didnt know what to do. I spent days crying and feeling so angry and then I sat and spoke with him. We managed to get through it and I have made it clear that if it ever happened again that would be it for us. Its taken a hell of a long time to built up some trust again but I'm glad we found a way through it.
Do you think he would ever do it again or is it completely out of character? Will you be able to rebuild the trust? There is so many things you have to talk to eachother about. It does take a lot of effort but if you both want to find a way through it you will. xx

DizzyMoo

Hiya hun, I can only agree with bexy_22 & i too would chuck him out no matter how much i loved him. The fact he has managed to have full physical intercourse with somebody else would forever be stuck in my head & i would not be able to move past that. The trust would be broken & although you love him, I really feel if a man truly loves a woman he would not do that to her & vice versa especially during a pregnancy too. Now please don't think i'm saying he doesn't love you i'm just trying to explain my opinion & i really can't help you decide what to do now, I do think you need time apart & to think about things whether you could forgive & take him back, trust he wont do it again, live with thinking is he with another woman or when it came to sex could you do it with him..these are just some things you have to think about before making your decision. With regards to your baby , he/she will be happy if YOU are happy whether single or not hun. There are other woman who have been in your shoes & i'm sure will no doubt offer their support.

A difficult time & i understand that hun, Take some time out xxxxxxxxxx

Tam

I agree with bexy_22. Trust is a huge thing to me and once it has gone, that's it for me, it's over. IMO you have nothing if you don't have trust.

But that is just me.

My sister is on her 2nd partner who is also her 2nd cheat....and like the partner before him, she is trying to make a go of it.

Good luck hun in whatever you decide, and I am so sorry you are going thru this. x

alana555

I didnt want to read and run but this is such a hard thing to comment on when its not me in the situation. Its hard to think rationally when you are hurting so much and for that I just want to give you the biggest hugs. Alot of peoples opinions maybe to leave him, or to forgive him. But you need to figure out what is best for you and the baby. Do you think you will ever trully forgive him? This is a major factor as it can mean the end of a relationship too.
Do you think he will do it again? The concerning thing for me when I read your post was that "you wernt suprised"
The fact that you already had decided that you would forgive him once (before it happened) indicates to me that maybe he isnt completely trustworthy and you new deep down inside that he would do this to you.

Follow your heart, if you believe it can work and you can forgive him then I say go for it. If you think he will do it again and you are only staying with him for the baby then I think you could be making a mistake.

I cant imagine how you are feeling or how confused you are. I really hope that you can be content with whatever choice you make FOR YOURSELF, please dont ever make choices for the sake of someone else.

I will be thinking of you

Duffy

(hugs) Sorry men can be such jerks you deserve better, sorry.

Marg_27

Jus wanted to giv u some

abigail_71

I think its important to look at why something happened. Its not always true that once a cheat always a cheat (but probably is more often than not). If he was a bit down and just took the opportunity thats not good. Of course their is no good reason really, but if there are ongoing big issues in a relationship that get ignored or never properly addressed I think this kind of thing is often the outcome.

Its harder to stay than go but I think that the fact you were not suprised suggests you already knew he was weak and selfish and you should think carefully about how you and bubs want to treated in the future. Hope you are ok.