Welcome to BabyandBump's Pregnancy - Second Trimester Forum - 14 > 26 weeks – The morning sickness has gone and the bump is growing. Talk to others and seek advice from maternity wear to what to expect over the coming weeks. This thread is called 'I just dont feel happy at all' and is in our Pregnancy Forums section. | 
May 26th, 2009, 15:00 PM
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| | mum of 2 gf to adam Active BnB Member
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Hull,yorkshire, england
Posts: 676
|  i just dont feel happy at all
hiya girls!
i just needed someone to talk to.... i feel so upset and angry with the world!
everybody seems to be doing so well!
like for instance my partner can only work 16 hours as thats all hours that are available at work which brings in a little over 300 pounds a month and every week we get 120 pounds tax credits and most of that money is going out where as my sister comes of maternity leave next month and they have offered her a full time job were she will be getting 600 more so monthly they will have nearly 3 grand!!! i know she will be working hard for it... but its soooo not fair she has just as much bills as us and yet she can do a huge 90 pound shop at asda and my weekly shop is 20 pounds at netto!
i cant eat that much food because theres not much food in!
my sons ok i can feed him just not myself really.
we cant ever go out because we cant afford it! im so sick of my house!
and my OH's work wont give him more hours!!! 
we are only just keeping our heads afloat!
and there worse thing is im nearly 18 weeks and cant afford to buy baby stuff yet! the only thing i can look forward to his the healthy eating scheme and the sure start grant!
weve been to citizens advice theres nothing that can be done!
im so sick of crying! i cant talk to anyone as i have no friends and my OH just says wel be fine! when clearly we arent!
i even packed my things ready to leave because i couldnt cope last week but changed my mind.
right now what i really want is a huge prawn sandwich in a breadcake with loads of salad but OH just informed me we cant afford it apparantly we only have 10 pounds to last us till sunday!!!
   
i just feel like a bad mum to my son and bean!
im sorry to burden everyone with this!
can i just say im really sorry if i sound ungrateful i know i have a beautiful son and baby on the way! i just want a better life for them as i had always planned!
xx | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:21 PM
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| | Lin, Si and Eve Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: near Norwich
Posts: 1,855
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I don't really know what to say, except you're definitely not a bad mum!
This is the time when lots of people are finding it hard, if you were finding it hard in a boom economy then you might have to do some serious thinking, but times are tough, so it's not unusual to be in your situation (I think).
Kids need love and it sounds like you have more than enough of that for your family. And you owe it to yourself and your bean to be relaxed as possible.
My sis didn't work for years, her ex-hubby got them bankrupt. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but now she has a job earning £36 grand (£7 grand more than me, who has always worked) and goes on about how she doesn't have any money despite the fact that all her debts were written off! I try not to think about it, as her financial situation has no bearing on mine in the end. Don't let your sister's situation make you bitter/more stressed - it's not worth it x | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:22 PM
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| | Mummy to 3 boys Active BnB Member
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Somerset
Posts: 431
|  hun, didnt wanna read n run, hormones are horrid things and they do make everything seem worse than it is.
Think we all go through days when things seem like they cant possibly get any worse, I also packed my bags last week when everything was getting on top of me, but we are working through things and I know its my hormones playing tricks on me, all I did for 3 days was cry and from other threads I know I'm not the only one.
Concentrate on getting yourself through the next few months, with the warmer weather you should be able to get out more so wont be stuck indoors.
I'm sure when your baby arrives having your oh working 16 hours will be a bonus for the first few weeks as he will be able to help out so much, its hard work with 2 until you get into a routine. Perhaps then you could look to get some hours somewhere that fits around his (if his cant be increased by then), a bit of adult company does wonders I find.
Anyway sorry to have gone on a bit but fingers x for you everything will pick up soon x | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:26 PM
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| | mum of 2 gf to adam Active BnB Member
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Hull,yorkshire, england
Posts: 676
| thanks for all your replys
i shouldnt be so selfish theres people far worse off then me...its just soooo hard! | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:26 PM
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| | Mummy to Bethan Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 1,796
| Awww hun hugs:
You are an amazing mum to your son and bean. It is clear that you have put them first. As long as you and your OH and beautiful kids are together then everything will be ok.
Money is always tough. Are your family going to be able to help you with gathering up the stuff you need? I'm relying on help from family tbh.
Can you look at getting a second hand cot? thats what I am doing and it is a real help as I dont think that I could afford a full price one as they are so expensive. I'm really lucky that a friend is giving me one as his youngest has grown out of it.
Are you working? can you claim job seekers if you aren't? surely you are entitled to that. I know it isn't much but it is better than nothing.
I wish there was something I can do to help | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:28 PM
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| | Lin, Si and Eve Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: near Norwich
Posts: 1,855
| God, I didn't mean to imply you're being selfish!!! Who wouldn't want the best for their family?!
I was just trying to say that you shouldn't feel a failure, as conditions in this country have f*cked things up for so many people at the moment. | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:34 PM
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| | Mum (Mom) BnB Addict
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Midlands
Posts: 4,687
| Can he look for a second or another job if hes only getting 16 hours a week a bar job maybe. Also if he works 16 hours or below he can actually claim job seekers wont be alot but will defo help out abit.
I think money troubles are effecting most ppl right now. im waiting to start a new job and zanes nursery fees are more then my wage! we dont have tax credits yet as so much crap has gone on that we havent had time to apply.
Things tend to work out in the end | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:35 PM
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| | mum of 2 gf to adam Active BnB Member
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Hull,yorkshire, england
Posts: 676
| Quote:
Originally Posted by lindypops  God, I didn't mean to imply you're being selfish!!! Who wouldn't want the best for their family?!
I was just trying to say that you shouldn't feel a failure, as conditions in this country have f*cked things up for so many people at the moment. | O GOD!! no!! im sorry i didnt say that for your benefit!!! i promise!! i know you wasnt saying i was selfish! lol
im just saying theres homeless people with no jobs ...thats a lot worse then me! | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:37 PM
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| | mum of 2 gf to adam Active BnB Member
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Hull,yorkshire, england
Posts: 676
| Quote:
Originally Posted by lalitas charm Awww hun hugs:
You are an amazing mum to your son and bean. It is clear that you have put them first. As long as you and your OH and beautiful kids are together then everything will be ok.
Money is always tough. Are your family going to be able to help you with gathering up the stuff you need? I'm relying on help from family tbh.
Can you look at getting a second hand cot? thats what I am doing and it is a real help as I dont think that I could afford a full price one as they are so expensive. I'm really lucky that a friend is giving me one as his youngest has grown out of it.
Are you working? can you claim job seekers if you aren't? surely you are entitled to that. I know it isn't much but it is better than nothing.
I wish there was something I can do to help | thank you! i hope i am trying my best!
erm not really got much family tbh i have my mum im sure shel buy bean some things!
i am gunna rely on ebay i think!
no no working stopped working to bring up son and now im pregnant! apparantly im not entitled to job seekers for some reason! | | | | Status: Offline
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May 26th, 2009, 15:39 PM
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| | Mum (Mom) BnB Addict
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Midlands
Posts: 4,687
| you cant claim job seekers if u live with a partner who works, u will be able to claim it if he puts in a claim cuz hes not working over 16 hours like i said in my other post.
Are u able to get maternity from the government when u r 11 weeks away from due date? | | | | Status: Offline
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