rae05

I'm just so upset with him right now. Its bad enough that I am the one who has to carry the baby. I am the one who had to quit school. I am the one who had to give up my friends and my entire life for this baby. Because of him, because of what he helped to do. And he does nothing. He doesn't have to be sick or have his body taken over. He didn't have to quit his frickin job, he didn't have to give up every single bit of independence he has. And now, I had to call him because the warrenty for my laptop is still out in his apartment...and he tells me about his spectacular weekend out partying with this girl that we had issues over. He no doubt hooked up with her.

I haven't broken down over any of this yet since I moved home, but I just cannot deal with this anymore. I have pretty much laid my bed as for dating in the next few years. Who in their right minds around my age is going to date a girl with a baby? Very few. Nobody wants to be tied down. And he gets to go hook up with someone right away? And its nothing?

Its just not fair and I'm so sick of everything just being on me with him getting to do whatever the frig he wants. I don't want to be with him, but the thought that he's with this girl, especially being who she is and what problems she caused in our relationship, makes me literally physically sick.

Just because I have morals and decided to keep the baby, I get absolutely nothing but stress and heartache over it. He gets nothing, he doesn't even care that I'm gone.


I've never actually hated someone in my entire life. Yes, disliked, but never that deep running hate. But my God, I hate him.

heather118

Try not to think about him, i know it will be really hard, but in the long run he will be the one missing out not you.
He can go out and party as much as he wants, but once you have done that once its all the same. He is just trying to make you jealous.
You will be the one that will be enjoying bringing up your child and that will be the most rewarding thing ever.

ryder

Oh dear, and my biggest problem is bell mobility and telling my riding coach I was pregnant, lol!

Honestly Rae, this adam is an idiot. I would personally not give or push custody on him. He obviously does not want or care about the baby, so he will never be interested in giving the baby the attention and love it deserves, and nothing you can do can force him, he is too young for the responsibility... and only using condoms or the pull out method arnt good methods of birth control.

I think you should deny him custody and make him pay child support. You will be able to get on with your life and not deal with him.

You may not date right when your baby is born. But having a baby does not mean your life is over, it doesnt mean you wont meet someone and get married and have a family together. You are very young, most relationships you have at your age are not ones that nessecarily last anyways. Because as you grow up, your priorities and desires in life change, especially after school.

Good luck! All that is important right now is looking after yourself and getting ready for your baby.

bubbles

It's completely understandable that your angry with him and extremely hurt. I know your going through alot at the moment and I truely hope it gets a bit easier for you but just try and remember however much he tries to forget he has a child it will come back and bite him in the ass. Chances are that when he's older and (again sorry if this upsets you) he is settled down maybe with a couple of kids your baby will get curious about his/her daddy and go searching for him. Adam has then got to explain why he was never there for your baby, why he didn't want him/her and if he's not honest with any future partners he will also have to deal with them finding out. I hope your scan went well today btw

ryder

Raes baby may not care who its father is later in life. My OH's father left when he was a baby and never saw or visited or called. And my OH has accepted that his dad was just an arse and really doesnt WANT to know the arse who didnt want him. He had a good childhood with his mom and stepdad and is going to be an excellent father himself.

rae05

Thanks girls


I am just so fucking frustrated right now with everything. Its bad enough that I had to pretty much beg to get an ultrasound done for weeks, then he tells me I'm measuring at 24 weeks...and that he's "99% SURE" that he isn't wrong...and then they make me WAIT two weeks to get an ultrasound done, only to tell me that apparently I'm not further along at all (thats what the tech said), but now need to get another scan in 2 more freakin' weeks to check the development cause it might not be right!??


I AM SO GLAD I LIVE IN 2008. They can put a fucking space ship on Mars but they can't tell me how many weeks pregnant I am.

I just don't even mentally know a way to express how friggen pissed off and upset and stressed out and just angry over the entire situation.


Oh, and get this....I can get a picture of my ultrasound....IN TEN FUCKING DAYS.

Arggggggggggg


Am I a horrible person for staying on Appear Offline and not answering my phone? I don't mind talking to the people in here, but I do NOT want to friggen explain myself 100xs about what the results of the ultrasound were.

I cancelled my job interview, I have myself locked in my bedroom...I just don't want to talk to or see anyone at all.

mugzy

You're really going through a rough time, I can only imagine how frustrated you are Hope they work out the whole development thing soon.

heather118

oh i feel for you. Sorry your going through this

Lazy Leo

I don't really know what to say hun. I've just read your journal and agree with the other girl's that baby's dad is just an @rse. I don't blame you for being angry hun, you are going through hell right now but in 15 years when you are talking things over with your daughter / son you'll tell them that if you could go back and change things you wouldn't cos if you did you wouldn't have him /her.

You've not said much about your mum or dad - are they being supportive?

rae05

My mom and dad have been incredible, they're a great support. I have no idea where I'd be without them right now.