after being so inpired by you lot i thought id join in with all this jounal stuff
Finding Out ...
Well after feeling sick and tierd all the time i started to get a bit paranoid about being pregnant. but of corse it was all in my head because i was on the pill . so i carried on with normal life. but this niggling feeling i was pregnant would not leave me alone. i didnt want to be pregnant and the was no way i was so why did i feel like this ? so that was it i had to settle it i was just gunna go to the clinic and take a test. and go home and carry on like normal because obviously it was going to be negative! so i took my friend with me and went into the room then did the test , the lady there returned 2 mins later with the good news i wasnt pregnant . i was relieved !! but then she told me i should maybe come back next week just to double check because i had had sex 2 weeks before and it maybe hadnt shown up yet. so i left with a big smile on my face. but this niggling feeling was still haunting me and i really couldnt get rid ov it ! we returned to the clinic 3 weeks later because i kept delaying . because i thought i just looked silly being paranoid i was pregnant . when i blatently wasn't. so we got in again and the lady came in again this time clutching a i think my heart stopped beating at that point . i knew what was coming and i was actualy gobsmacked ! we discussed abortions and she handed me a leflet with a number to call to book my first appointment.
Telling the babys daddy...
I actually thought he would kill me , but he needed to know .. and anyway i was going to keep it so there was no reason for him to be that angry ! so i text him really mature i know lol . and hes reaction was how i thought , he just went on about how he doesnt want a baby and how us getting rid ov it was for the best , but how he doesnt want to hurt me and stuff. and i totally agreed ! so i went home and called the clinic to make an appointment to arrange a termination. but the only date they had was for 3 weeks time , by my calculations then id be 7 weeks ..
after a week or so we started talking about the baby . by this time we where both in two minds but swaying towards getting rid still . it sounded the best option im only 17 , so i had my whole life ahead of me . it just wasnt the right time !! by the second week my mind had changed completely i had read things about the devolpment on my LO and how it was getting on . but i couldnt do that to terry , because i knew he really didnt want me to keep the baby so i carried on agreeing to the termination.
The appointment!...
so by this time i knew i wanted to keep the baby and i was going to . i was almost positive ! it was just terrys reaction that was going to change my opinion . at the end of the day it wasnt just my baby . it was both of ours . so i went in and she discussed about what i wanted and how i wasnt sure yet then asked me to pop onto the table so she could do a scan. she estimated me to be at about 9 weeks . and i had a lil look at the scan picture . although she said it wasnt really anything , i was in love . that was my baby growing inside of me !! she gave me a photocopy and booked me another appointment for the same thing for once i made my decistion .. but i already had and i knew i was keeping the baby !
So The Secrets out !! ..
I thought it was probley best i let the important know my decistion. although i was laying a brick about it !so when we got in i showed terry the scan , and although he was pretending to not be happy about it i knew he was .. well obvious haha !.. he went back to work . and i decided id tell him when he got home from work ! but then he text me telling me he needed know what i was doing ! .. so that was it .. i told him lol and he was alright about it . it was final he told me he was happy , and so was i !! next step my mum .. and omg wasnt i dreading that one ! but anyway she called me just as i was thinking about it , so i just asked her out right if she was busy 2 night coz i wanna see her about something. then she just asked me outright .. ARE YOU PREGNANT! with my friend sitting next to me waving my scan about saying tell her tell her . i jus sed yes and started crying (looking for the sympathy vote i think ) then she said ok ill be home later and put the phone down!. next minute she was calling me back telling me to get home now and dont even bother crying . through gritted teeth i reckon. so that was it here goes ww3 !
i think my heart stopped beating at that point . i knew what was coming and i was actualy gobsmacked !
we discussed abortions and she handed me a leflet with a number to call to book my first appointment. 
so when we got in i showed terry the scan , and although he was pretending to not be happy about it i knew he was .. well obvious haha !
.. he went back to work . and i decided id tell him when he got home from work ! but then he text me telling me he needed know what i was doing ! .. so that was it .. i told him lol 
and he was alright about it . it was final he told me he was happy , and so was i !! next step my mum .. and omg wasnt i dreading that one ! but anyway she called me just as i was thinking about it , so i just asked her out right if she was busy 2 night coz i wanna see her about something. then she just asked me outright .. ARE YOU PREGNANT! with my friend sitting next to me waving my scan about saying tell her tell her . i jus sed yes and started crying (looking for the sympathy vote i think 
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