Okay, so I decided it was time to start one of these.
Lately I have been really nauzeated although the last couple days hasnt been too bad. Lastnight Shawn told me he wanted spaghetti and I thought it was a fantastic idea, that was until, it was sitting in front of me. I kind of picked at it and barely ate anything. I just really think I didnt want it like I thought I did. Shawn wrapped it up for me and I ate it today for lunch but I felt so bad that he made it all lastnight and neither of us really was in the mood for it. Not bad but I just dont think spaghetti is going to be one of my favorite pregnancy foods.
Ive been so tired lately its unreal. I just want my energy back. I feel like I could literally sleep all day. My skin is dry, my boobs are sore and I feel like I could eat everything in the house. Im not complaining though because Im pretty sure that I have more symptoms this time then I did during the last pregnancy that I m/c so thats good.
Tomorrow is my ultrasound and Im so nervous and excited. I cant wait to see that heartbeat and I cant wait to see the little blob. I never got to see either during my first pregnancy because the fetus died early on and then I finally m/c at 10wks. So this I think will make everything more real and I will be able to feel a bit better about the whole thing. Im really happy because Shawn is going to go with me he worked his hardest to get his shift switched with someone because he would have been working during the time I had to go. Now he will be working a few hours later.
My MIL was talking to me the other day and going on about stuff she thinks she is ALWAYS right about and was literally just driving me crazy. She is a lovely woman but sometimes just can be a "know it all" and if she doesnt know it all she pretends she does and often we believe just makes stuff up. Anyways she was going on about breastfeeding and asked if I was going to. I told her no I dont think (my personal opinion I just dont like the idea of breastfeeding) She was going on about how its healthier for the baby (which I do agree that the Colosturum(sp?) is better for baby but I still dont want to breastfeed) My mom was telling me that alot of people try to guilt you into breastfeeding she said the doctors and nurses did it to her (she was only 16 when she gave birth to me) she didnt give in to them. I think she is right and its happening already. I dont like the idea of a baby on my boob all the time and some people have told me it hurts. Like I said my personal opinion. I also want Shawn to be able to feed the baby as much as he can because as of right now his work shifts are all over the place and he wont be able to spend much time with the baby. If my mom or his mom want to take the baby for the day or even a night I want to be able to give the baby over to them without having to pump a whole bunch of milk. Most formulas on the market these days provide the same kind of nutrients breastmilk does and is perfectly healthy for them and its not going to harm my baby if they have just formula. If a baby doesnt take to breastmilk, you put them on formula so really whats the difference if I do it before I even try him/her on breastmilk?
Also, she got on the topic of me wanting a 3D and 4D scan from UCBABY. She thinks it could be harmful but like I told her they wouldnt be able to have it on the market if it was harmful to the baby. It is no different then a normal ultrasound. She thinks having too many can be harmful and where I am going for an early one and will likely have a couple more before I even get to go to UCBABY it just wont be good for bean. She is afraid the equipment may not be serviced properly or that the techs might not actually be qualified to do it. I read the website and it seems wonderful to me and all are qualified. They have spots over parts of Canada and Im sure millions of people use them. I told her Im getting it done anyways. Ughh sometimes that woman drives me crazy!!
This video is of my husband Shawn singing about the baby that we m/c. He wrote this song and sang it within an hour so it's not the best and needs a bit of work but its pretty good for being so quick with it. When he first sang it to me I cried so much. This was his way of grieving and just wanted to share it with you guys since I think I have figured out how. Hope it works. xo
Last edited by wantababybump : 22-04-2008 at 18:11 PM.
Well I went for my ultrasound today and I am actually only 7wks+2days. Due December 8th, 2008. It was so wonderful seeing the heartbeat because the last pregnancy we couldnt even see a fetal pole but there it was just ticking away <3 so lovely. Shawn started to cry...he said he wasnt but he was.
Today I am sooooo sick. I woke up and felt a little queazy and couldnt stop vomiting since then. Oh no...I think morning sickness has struck me =( anyways Im tired so I think this will be my update for the day.
It says 13 wks but its not. That would be going by my LMP since I didnt get one in February.
So it's been a few days since I posted in my journal so I figured I would take this time and do just that.
The other day I had a really bad day. I was so cranky. I was mad at everything...and it all started with not having anything to wear, everything doesnt fit, my hair wont go the way I want, I feel like crap, I look like crap...I was just like this all day I really was in a slump about myself. I just find I get into weird moods like that where I down myself so much and think I am not that pretty and blah blah blah. I have even done this before I was pregnant. Just sometimes I dont feel pretty and then of course my husband tells me Im beautiful but all I say is "you have to say that...your my husband". I really dont have a low self esteem and most times Im ok and can say ya Im pretty, maybe not gorgeous like some people but Im ok the way I am. Since I have gained weight like 15-20lbs (since last year) Now I know I am not super big and I really shouldnt complain because most people think Im still small but seriously its just me seing this weight on me...I can notice it more than most people. I have all these little red stretch marks on the insides of my legs which are really embarassing and these damn love handles or as I like to call them 'muffin tops' I am really at an ok weight I could probbly lose 5 lbs and be at a good weight for my petiteness (4'11") but I think Im just down because it's not toned. Anyways the whole thing started because I was going shopping for clothes. I couldnt find anything!! I find everything is so small (I have a 36DD chest already! and shirts always seems to rise....)and made for skater chicks (you know with the little hearts and skulls and all that jazz) I was going for something more sophisticated and pretty rather than 'cool' I just find everything is so damn expensive (I like to be able to get a bunch of stuff out of $100.00 not just a couple shirts..) but I started thinking about it and maybe I will have to go more expensive if I want anything nice and thats going to fit properly. I just kept saying the whole time was "I hate shopping, I really really hate it". I just really dont want to become frumpy and with my whole pants wardrobe being sweats I feel like thats where I am headed. Anyways, since that day Im feeling better no more I hate myself spells.
I am 8 wks (again!!) today lol...finally Im back up to 8 wks. Time seriously feels like its standing still. I havent had anymore morning sickness just the usual nausea all day long in little spurts. I have been major tired though feel like I could sleep forever. The last couple nights I have woken up around 230am-300am scratching to death. I feel so itchy it really sucks. I got a cold cloth and wiped myself down wherever I itched but it didnt really help and the night before it just kind of went away or I ignored it...Im not sure which. Lastnight though I couldnt stop scratching I was driving myself insane finally I took off all my clothes and was pretty much fine and finally fell back to sleep. I know its not different laundry soap or anything like that because we use the same all the time but I think its just the weather changing here going from hard cold winter to spring like days to being cold again its definitely messing with my skin. I hate it anyways. Anyways, rant over.
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