Okay, so after reading all you pregnancy journals i got inspired to write my own instead of ranting on different threads each day ha!
So here it goes, my name is Rachel i am 16 and am now 7 months pregnant with a baby boy! im on knowing soon i will be holding him in my arms (even though im petrefied about labour haha!)
FINDING OUT - it all started when i got with Adam, i doted on him as soon as i looked at him (sounds corny but you know how it is haha), at first we took things slow but when i realised i loved him after he said it to me i knew i was ready so we started having , an because i have been with other lads, i knew he was the best so far ha! sorry if TMI. it felt so right and true i was being young and foolish not using contraceptive and just relying on the 'Pull out method' thinking it was never going to happen to me! Ha what ever Rachel, because it did happen to me. i had been with Adam almost 6 months and was in love with him as much as he was with me, i started to notice a change in myself but put it down to hormones and due to come etc. but the day came and i didnt come on. people around me started getting suspicious asking me if i was but to be honest i really didnt know myself to tell them yes or no! when i was 2 weeks late i finally realised i had to getthe courage to take a test because it wasnt going to go away, i was sitting in my dads es girl friends Steph and i was meant to wait 5 minutes+ for a faint blue line to come through yet after 2 minutes a dark blue line appeared - ! i sat there an cried an cried like a baby, i was 16 i didnt know what to do with myself. all i kept saying to myself is 'i wanted to make something of myself, how am i going to cope with a baby'. Steph helped me calm down and just hugged me and told me things were going to be ok. i knew the next step was telling Adam.
TELLING ADAM - sat on the bus on my way down to Adams i stared out the bus window watching everyone walk past in there own little worlds and it was like i was frozen there and then to that spot, like the world has carried on moving yet i was still as ice. knocking on his door, wiping my eyes from crying he answered and automatically knew soemthing was up. we went up to his room so his mum + dad couldnt hear what was going on. i said 'Adam i've got some news + your not going to like it' so he said 'youre pregnant rnt u' then i cried and he hugged me and said he was there for me and everything was going to be fine but i could tell he was crying too. we talked things through about our different options + he said no matter what he would stand by me and in the end after we talked for a while we ended up in bed having again (i said to myself while walking the bus stop hand in hand with adam, 'dont you ever learn')
TIME TO LET THE FAMILY KNOW - by this point i was 7 weeks gone and my family knew i was pregnant and was just waiting for me to confirm it! i told certain people in my family, the ones who i could talk too + they were thrilled for me, a bit shocked but happy. i took the day of school to go the doctors with Steph to get it professionally confirmed that i was actually pregnant etc etc. but on my way my aunties got on the bus and because i wasnt in school they knew something was up and made me stay on the bus whilst Steph got off, they asked me and i burst out crying. they were dissapointed at both the fact i was pregnant + that i didnt go to them for help. that night - oh that dreaded night, Susan (my auntie) told me she was going to tell my mum that night. so i rang Adam to let him no and he just burst out crying on the phone because he knew my mum would ring his mum + dad and tell them too, so Susan paid for a taxi for him to get down to hers and stay with me while she went to tell my mum. well once Adam got there we sat there holding eachother for what seemed like hours, the phone rang 'tell adam his mum is here and she wants him here now' so we gets ready to walk down tears streaming down both our faces, he gripped my hand and the closer we got the tighter he held me. we got there and our house seemed as if some one had broken in and recked the place (turns out my mum went balistic throwing things and breaking things) and Adams mum grabbed adam and told him he was going to his aunties for a while so his mum and dad could talk, he began to walk down the path still holding his hand out to me, i grabbed it and told him i loved him no matter what! deep down i knew that was the last of me + adam.
FIND OUT ABOUT SOPHIE - next thing i knew i was told to come in, bracing myself thinking my mum was about to go mental on me she gave me a hug and asked if i was ok. i as shocked but i guess she already got her anger out on the house. then my auntie Paula decided to fill me in on the fact adams mum didnt even no we was still together because adam he been bringing another girl back to his! which give me the shock of my life, the boy i loved, the boy that i thought loved me!! i ran out wanting to get away from everyone + everything that was going on. later that night adam tried ringing me but i wasnt ready to talk to him, so i guess he gathered that was me saying it was over. so he ignored me for the next few days and i found out he had a new girl friend - SOPHIE! who has 'Rachel an that stupit kid of ers is gettin in the way of Mine + adams relationship i hope she loses it' which i found out of one of the girls she goes out with whom i speak too.
ABORTION - after everything that had happened i got it into my head that i couldnt be a mum to my baby on my own so i agreed with adam for him to come with me to gt an abortion but whilst sitting in the abortion clinic watching other people coming out clutching there stomach crying there eyes out i knew deep down in my heart i couldnt do it!
ADAM - he doesnt want to have anything to do with the baby or me, he is to childish and loves going out getting 'smashed' with his mates 24/7. so i left him be. even after i found out i was having his baby BOY he still didnt make an effort to get in touch.
HOSPITAL - i thought i was going to lose my baby after a incident at work were a man pushed me in my stomach and said 'watch were your going, people like you are a disgrace to this earth' ignoring it i felt a stabbing pain in my stomach and felt like a relief 'down there'. i started work, without going the toilet to scared to find out if my thoughts were true. eventually my supervisor noticed something was up and i todl her and she ordered me to go and check other wise she was sending me home. so on my way up to the staff toilets i cried my eyes out , scared to what i was going to find. TMI - as i sat there i looked and realised id had a loss of water, at first i thought the man had nocked my bladder and id had an accident with out realising but then i thought to myself, if i didnt wouldnt it (smell etc) so paniced and ended up going home. i told my mum and she said go to bed with a hot water bottle and see how you feel. the following week i was still in pain so i got an emergency app. in the hospital. turns out i just had a loss of water - reason, unknown and was sent home with tablets.
Grandad - my great grandad was dying of cancer and i knew he wasnt going to be with us long, it was a horrible time especially on top of what was going on with the baby + Adam etc. the cancer has spread throughout his body and ws eating away at him piece by piece. he slowly give up of wanting to survive so he starved himself and just give up talking to anyone. i watched as my once lively grandad deteriate into a 4 and a half stone man! he kept calling me claire which upset me so much, i could feel my depression taking back over my body! the day my mum walked in crying i knew he had gone (RIP GRANDAD) so she asked if i would walk around with her so she could go and speak with other family members etc. andi said i would but only if he would have gone because i couldnt face seeing him. she told me he would have gone but as we got to his corner i seen the funeral van and i feel to my knees crying my eyes out screaming for my grandad! when we got in there i sat there staring at 'his chair' in the corner where he used to sit and watch as all the birds flew past (he had an intrest in birds, he knew every single bird in the world) and now it was just empty. i just remember my aunties crying and later that night i realised it was because as i walked in the living room they carried my grandad out to the van. his funeral was hard, i didnt think i could do it but some how i found the strength to get through it. i miss him so much but now ive let go of him because hes not in pain anymore and needs to be set free. xxx
MOVE OUT! - my little sister decided to take a hissy fit and run away for 3 weeks until i promised id move out. which was a hassle at first but now im coming to terms with it and it doesnt seem to bad because its not a immediate thing which is better than being onthe streets now.
ADAM WANTS TO BE A DAD - adam got in touch with me via his mum and my mum and told me he wanted contact with Jayden. i was made up and swore balck + blue to everyone that he has changed because they said i was making a mistake, but i loved him still and he wanted to be my babys dad still. but recently i found out the actuall reason why he wants to be a dad all of a sudden, because his girl friend had turned round to him knowing quite well he didnt believe me about what she said and she told him she would stick by him and be Jaydens 2nd mummy. this made adam want to be a dad but now he has lost that chance because i though he had changed but he hasnt hes just the same like people kept trying to tell me, he walked all over me like i said i wouldnt let him do!!
SHEA (pronounced like shay)- my gorgous new boyfriend who i adore, he means so much to me hes like my rock. hes sticking by me even though im having another lads kid and he wants to help me take care of the baby too with or without adam.
So up to now even though my life hasnt been the happiest, my pregnancy is progressing very well and Jaydens kicks me like mad. will post some pictures of my bump and how it has progressed from when i found out to now. will keep you updated of how things get on.
got my plan updated plan of care back of my midwife today because last time she messed it up. it says on it, feels very confident how ever will need support. wants to A/F << what does that mean??
it sounds like you have your head screwed on, i have been reading your threads about the babys dad i think you are doing really well id be in bits by now
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The following user says 'Thanks' to Uvlollypop for this post:
it sounds like you have your head screwed on, i have been reading your threads about the babys dad i think you are doing really well id be in bits by now
Am trying my hardest not to let him get to me, i don't want to prove everyone right because they told me he was no good. part of me still believes he will change but that part of me is shrinking day by day!
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knowing soon i will be holding him in my arms (even though im petrefied about labour haha!) 
, an because i have been with other lads, i knew he was the best so far ha! sorry if TMI. it felt so right and true i was being young and foolish not using contraceptive and just relying on the 'Pull out method' thinking it was never going to happen to me! Ha what ever Rachel, because it did happen to me. i had been with Adam almost 6 months and was in love with him as much as he was with me, i started to notice a change in myself but put it down to hormones and due to come etc. but the day came and i didnt come on. people around me started getting suspicious asking me if i was but to be honest i really didnt know myself to tell them yes or no! when i was 2 weeks late i finally realised i had to getthe courage to take a test because it wasnt going to go away, i was sitting in my dads es girl friends Steph and i was meant to wait 5 minutes+ for a faint blue line to come through yet after 2 minutes a dark blue line appeared - 
! i sat there an cried an cried like a baby, i was 16 i didnt know what to do with myself. all i kept saying to myself is 'i wanted to make something of myself, how am i going to cope with a baby'. Steph helped me calm down and just hugged me and told me things were going to be ok. i knew the next step was telling Adam. 
which give me the shock of my life, the boy i loved, the boy that i thought loved me!! i ran out wanting to get away from everyone + everything that was going on. later that night adam tried ringing me but i wasnt ready to talk to him, so i guess he gathered that was me saying it was over. so he ignored me for the next few days and i found out he had a new girl friend - SOPHIE! who has 'Rachel an that stupit kid of ers is gettin in the way of Mine + adams relationship i hope she loses it' which i found out of one of the girls she goes out with whom i speak too. 
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