hey just checking in to see how you are doing

There's no way I'm going to finish high school.
It's the horrible cold hard truth. I'm never going to be able to do what I wanted to do. There's no way in hell I'm ever going to be able to finish high school.
Why?
Because I'm so damn far behind in school work, lets say 2 years, I'll be repeating grade 9 for the second time and I can't even remember how to multiply. Fractions, algebra, division, none of it makes sense anymore. Nothing. I can barely remember what a verb is, let alone an adverb or a pronoun. I know not one bit of history about Canada or the world, at that. I don't even know what precipitation and condensation are. Science is a forbidden area. What's even more pathetic is I don't even KNOW what they teach in social studies. I have failed my life. People are always being pissy at me telling me to go back to school but what they don't understand is I CAN'T DO THE FUCKING WORK! I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! It would take too goddamn long to go back and be able to work through it, and maybe I would have been able to but no; I can't, it would take about 7-8 YEARS until I graduate. Not only did they make gym a manditory class, but now they've moved up the amount of credits you need to graduate. A couple of years ago it was something like.. 26? Now it's 28, next year it will be 30 and then it will be 34. THIRTY FUCKING FOUR! How am I supposed to do that? It wouldn't be so damn difficult if I didn't have to now look after a baby. I can't feed my baby unless I have a job, granted I could live with my grandmother and get her to support him financially but I don't want to do that! It makes me feel selfish, this is my baby I don't want other people having to pay for everything we do! It's hard enough as it is that my grandmother supports ME, it's just not fucking fair. I can't even financially support my own child unless I don't go back to school. There, I said it. I'm NOT going back to school. If I had one wish in the entire world it would be that I could finish school. I'm already working with my theatre group and with mamawi to try and make a little bit of a living, it's not fair how can I possibly keep living like this? I feel like an utter failure, I'm never going to make it like I thought and hoped I would. I can't do the work. I don't understand anything. I can't remember how to spell, I have to dictionary.com everything. It's just never going to happen for me. But I guess that's what happens when you decide to get pregnant at 15 years old huh..

I'm doing horrible. This whole thing is just getting too damn hard to cope with.

i cant see.... im not much help right now im having a few probs im sorry but ill try and talk to you properly tomrrow


take care ok....

heya, i am in the same situation as you, pregnant + in school trying to make something of herself so she can bring her + her baby up!

Things are hard especially as I'm doing my GCSEs at the minute and i feel exactly the same as you but i know to make something of my self i at least have to prove to myself that i tried to do it and weather we succeed or fail is another thing which in time we will have to deal with it in our own way.

i have faith in you that you WILL do fine + you WILL be a great mum to your little boy! you have a mature head on your shoulders which will take you so many places in your life and help you along the way.

if you ever need to talk I'm almost always on here xxx

Hey Mary

Sorry you are feeling down. I know you must feel trapped by the situation at times but you can do this. And you can make something of your future too.

Being a young mum is tough but you are an intelligent girl who I think has what it takes to go far in life. My cousin was 15 when she had her daughter and I wont lie to you its been very hard at times for her and her kids. She didnt finish school either and that made things harder for her later on too but she was switched on an prepared to go for it once the time came.

You might not finish school now but its not the end of the world. Once you're on your feet and settled with your little boy, opportunities will come your way and you'll make the most of them. You might be able to train once he's at school. Yes thats a long way off right now, but you decided to put him first and so your time may have to wait.

At 15 yrs old most girls dont know exactly what they want to do with their lives, let alone 15 and expecting their first child. Your next few years as a Mum will help you to learn about who you are and what you want from life and from the little I've learned about you, I'm pretty sure you are destined for big things.

x

hey hun big hugs

So, I decided that instead of completing high school I will study math and science through homeschooling since I'm horrible at them, and the rest I will study in time through my GED book. I'm just going to get my GED instead of taking 6-7 years to complete high school, seeing as it's the equivelant of a high school diploma. Then I'd still be able to get a good job and such and it won't take as long! Thank God.
I'm in the third trimester now!
Missing my second tri buddies, it's a hard transition!
Also, I'm not sure if this is a common thing among most pregnant women in their 3rd tri but I find myself only being able to sleep roughly 5 hours a night.

im pretty sure the lack of sleep is a universal thing once you get that pregnant hun.

its good that you know what you want to with school and its great that your not giving up. alot of 15year olds having a baby would but when you leave its hard to go back.

i found it weird going from ttc to first tri was strange!

Yes, it feels weird leaving everybody behind, but luckily enough they will be where I am soon.