carries

Good luck for your scan tommorow! YOu really are an inspiration

toot

Just wanted to drop by and give you some I wish you all the luck in the world tomorrow with you scan.

Emmea12uk

Thanks girls - i really wish it was tommorrow tho! Maybe if i stay in bed it will come sooner!

Emmea12uk

For every up there is a down…

I went to see my midwife at 28 weeks and she confirmed that he is indeed lying where I thought he was - The midwife had told me earlier that he was lying with his head down my pelvis, his body up my left side (I could definitely feel his bottom!) and his feet were hammering away at my right ribs with his hands just above my right hip. She did the usual checks and everything was perfect. His heartbeat was very strong and very easy to find now he has established his comfy spot. My FH was spot on too and I was booked to go and get by GD tests and iron tests.

Leading up to the scan, I was so excited to see little Tommy again. Every night he kicked the hell out of me as I tried to sleep and again in the mornings as I tried to go back to sleep. I can feel his little feet pushing against my hand and even swear that I felt his hand - I could feel a handshaped lump where his hands were! It was so cute!

I also felt him hiccup for the first time and it was so adorable! Like a light tapping which was regular and went on for a few minutes. A sure sign that his lungs are getting ready for the outside world!

At the same time as all this bonding, I was starting to get so nervous about the scan. I knew they wouldn’t be able to see very much but I was so worried they will tell me something bad. I tried to concentrate on seeing Tommy again to get me through it. I wished so badly that Mike was here to hold my hand – he is so optimistic all the time.

I had an appointment with the doctor on the Wednesday the week before the scan to tell him that I had had a lump in my throat since I got pregnant. I saw a locum and he told me to go away and come back when it got worse. I pleaded with him and said it was worse and I was choking on it at night! He still told me to come back when it got worse!

Shocked and very irritated that something that had caused me to worry so much was just being brushed aside, I immediately booked an appointment to see my own doctor. I complained to him about the locum just dismissing me without even checking my throat, which he did straight away. He said – “looks like your thyroid” which reminded me that in December he did some thyroid tests as my morning sickness and tiredness were very bad and I was suffering from bad palpitations. He looked at the results and there it was! Hypothyroidism! I have had it all the way through my pregnancy and no one had bothered to check the results! In fact I had been complaining of symptoms of this disease for over 6 years and no doctor had ever put two and two together, despite it being rife in my family.

Hypothyroidism is the under production of a hormone which helps the baby’s brain to develop, amongst other things. It causes fatique, a general feeling of always being down and ill, palpitations and a slowing down of the metabolism – causing weight gain. Untreated Hypothyroidism increases the chance of miscarriage and pre-term labour dramatically and causes whole list of nasty nasty things.

Since my last scan showed my baby had spinal bifida and a severely undersized head – I was totally convinced he has an underdeveloped brain which may not be a result of spinal bifida at all. I instantly felt devastated and started to panic. Instead of waiting to see what will happen with the spinal bifida, I now had to wait and see if he will be mentally impaired as well – something I wasn’t so sure I could cope with.

I did of course look all this information up on the internet, which I know is probably more frightening than it actually is. The doctor gave me no information whatsoever and just told me to tell my consultant when I next saw them. So I phoned the day unit and asked them if I will be able to speak to someone on Thursday at my scan and they confirmed I could. Two days to go…

Uvlollypop

ow hun, this is all so wrong i hope you drag that doctor over hot coals by his man parts!!

the same as with every up theres a down where theres a down theres an up it might not seen like it but thinks will get better, maybe not right now or tomorrow or even the next day but they will get better.

and your still going to have a beautiful baby boy.

big hugs

Simon'sMum

I can't even imagine how you must feel... you're doing everything you can to be optimistic and now you're being let down by them not checking your results. Continue to be strong for your little one and know we're all here for you. And about info. on the internet, most of it is always soooo alarming but not always right. I find worse case scenarios are what we end up reading up on. I had to ban researching stuff during my pregnancy as I would worry myself sick! Keep in touch with BnB, but no research!!! I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

Uvlollypop

how are you and tommy today?

elliebaby

Emma, I just wanted to say your story is inspiring. So sad and yet so full of hope and love.

I will think of you every day until your little one is born and you can know more about what you will face in the future.

Stay strong.

Emmea12uk

The scan…

The night before my scan Tommy was determined to try and put my mind at rest. He started kicking me in my ribs and stomach at 21:00, whilst I was trying to eat my rather late dinner. At first it was bearable, but after a few minutes the kicks made me cry out they were so painful and I had to stop eating before I was sick. He carried on kicking the same spot all night and I eventually ended up shouting at him and threatening to do stupid things like get on my hands and knees or stick something cold on him! I though he was going to be a little loveable monster!

I tried to go to sleep early as I had a very early start to get to the hospital but I tossed and turned all night and felt like I hadn’t slept at all. I dragged myself out of bed feeling like I had been beaten up and went to the hospital with my mum and twin sister.

In the foetal medicine suite, I laid down on the bed and my consultant started to scan me. Immediately she checked the heart beat and went straight to his head to check the fluid levels there. His head had grown and was on the scale now, whereas before it had been so small it was off the scale. Also, I detected no trace of the lemon head shape that there was before, which put me at ease. However she commented on the “dilated” state of the ventricles in his brain, indicating that hydrocephalus is definitely something which might rear its ugly head. This is what I am afraid of most – but there is still hope and we wont know until he has had his operation to fix his spine, whether surgery will be needed to drain this fluid.

She then scanned his bum looking for the lump she had found previously. This time the lump was much more clearer and you could see that it was covering a gap in the surface of his skin and was full of fluid. This means that there was a very high chance that there is nerve damage effecting his feet, legs, bladder, bowels and sexual organs – this just confirmed previous findings and did not tell us anything new but did extinguish a little bit of hope that maybe there will be nothing wrong at all.

Whilst scanning his feet, she was able to see that one of them is showing signs of rotation – which could be a warning sign for club foot – something spina bifida babies get a lot. Whilst this is another problem to add to the list – it is another treatable problem.

Unfortunately, little Tommy’s kicking the night before was obviously tenderising his new resting place as he was now lying over the sore spot with his bum on it – his bum being the bit the consultant wanted to scan the most. It was absolute agony her digging the scanner in and I started to feel a bit faint from the pain, then by the time she had moved onto his cute (huge!) feet which were by my stomach I was ready to pass out and be sick. At this point she decided to stop and I was unable to see his face or get any photographs – but I was very relieved she had stopped!

I then mentioned that my doctor had said I was suffering from an underactive thyroid. She looked through my test results and said they were indeed low, but low within the normal range and nothing to worry about. She booked me in for another test in a few weeks to make sure.

So overall, the scan had not told me anything new of significance. There was no bad news as I had been expecting, but there was a little bit of a dashing to my hopes. I was however prepared for the worst so it did not come as a shock to me. I am still happy, excited and in love!

He was overall a small baby, his head, abdomen and weight (2.5lbs) were on the low average side. His legs however were already as long as a baby who is 40 weeks and definitely on the high average side! It looked like he was going to be a very long baby just like his dad! His expected birth weight at this stage was a very very relieving 6.7lbs! I can do that

I went home feeling excited to be pregnant again and put the worries to the back of my mind to be dealt with when the time comes. Me and my mum and sister analysed the report and cooed over the photographs of his feet, which really were adorable. Only four weeks until my next scan – when I will be 33 weeks pregnant. I don’t expect they will be able to see a lot at this stage, but at least I will get an insight into Tommy’s little world again!

Uvlollypop

gahh i used to hate being kicked in the same place for hours on end when theres bugger all you can do about it

although all these scans arnt giving you the best news in the world, at least they are telling you that most of the things that may be a problem are in fact treatable.

part of the reason the made more investigations about S.B in my daughter was club feet/extra long legs/ bow legs. it didnt make them any less cute:-)
im sorry the scan was such painfull experience for you!
6.7 sounds manageable! im pleased that tommys head is catching up a bit, it must be a big relief- a bit of a light at the end maybe...

i think your coping amazingly well, and that a mothers love holds no bounds tommy is going to be such a lucky little boy to have a mummy as nice as you :-)