Well after 19 months of trying, I had just about given up on TTC. I didn't want to see a fertility specialist due to the fact I was only 19 when I started. But in the end, waiting for AF every month, thinking every month "Have I cracked it?"
I'd been in hospital from the 12th until the 27th so I thought I'd had no chance on concieving that month and the fact that I had vigerous treatments to try and save my sight from a progressive inflammatory eye condition.
But as per usual, today was the day AF was due. Aches and sore boobs ruined my hope of a BFP. I tested none the less to get over excited because I was sure I seen a faint positive. My partner damperned this and said no.
7th December 2007
I convinced my partner to buy me a couple of cheapies. They both came up with negatives. So I'd resigned myself to the fact yet another month had gone by and await the arrival of AF.
12th December 2007
I am a regular long cycle for AF of 34 days. But she still hadn't arrived. Now a week late I decided to take one last poke at it. This time to save confusion, I splashed out on a Clear Blue digital. With my 2yr old in the creché, I took myself to the Loo's (Couldn't wait until I got home).
I sat there watching the little egg timer spin around and around... I could hear people huffing outside at the time they had to wait to use the loo. I closed my eyes and placed my hand over the screen. I knew then if it was meant to be it would be this time. I opened my hand to see "Pregnant" On the screen.
The biggest smile ever came across my face. I raced out the loo to phone my mum, who had listened to me for months agonise over trying to get pregnant.
She even told me to check it. "You know you have bad eye sight, check it and see if it had "Not Pregnant" on it". Laughing at her I did check to reveal the same "Pregnant" I had read moments ago.
I still don't believe I am pregnant. I still feel I'll wake up and it'll be gone. After having a shock at 9 weeks when I went for an early scan for the fact that I'd had loads of treatment before and during pregnancy, midwife wanted to check baby was progressing normally. They had told me I'd had internal bleeding and had I had any. I replied no. She thought it very strange and warned me it may end in MC. I had to return at 12 weeks to check. But luckily the sonographer declared the bleeding had been re-absorbed.
27th March 2008
I found out my bean is a little girl, 80% sure. As I paid for the scan as my NHS don't tell you, I have to go back at 22 weeks to be 99% sure.
So now I just plod on until the 22nd of April arrives to know for 99% Sure but I felt girlie. But it'll be what it'll be.
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