You ladies are lucky in the UK that you don't have to worry about insurance stuff. I don't have any medical insurance, and boyfriend makes too much money for me to get medicaid, but not enough to be able to pay for prenatal care out of pocket. Obviously that's a huge problem. The only solution is for him to marry me, and then I'd be covered by his. He is in the military. However, I don't think he wants to marry me.

The other problem is that I have a literally crippling phobia of being touched or looked at "down there" and a huge insane phobia of needles. I mean- HUGE. I cannot just "get over it" or look the other way. As a result, I want to have a midwife and a natural birth, and I need a midwife who is okay with minimal or even no internal exams, understanding of sexual abuse issues, and willing to let me be in charge of when, where, and what tests, if any, I have done.

I do know I am RH negative (had a former pregnancy loss before this pregnancy) and will need the shot and I am fine with that. I am O- blood and boyfriend is A+ (I think? Definitely something +).

So, I know there's no real answers out there for me probably, but this is weighing heavily on my mind.

PS The level of panic I go into when exposed to medical care IMO puts me and my baby at great risk. I go into shock, usually don't even remember the experience, and cry, scream, and completely become irrational. This is what concerns me about being forced into a medical type setting against my will.

One more thing: I am very healthy. I have never been sick, never required any type of medical care in my life, have no allergies, and am slender and fit and come from a family of women with easy, fast labors. So I am confident about being able to have a low risk pregnancy :-)

Oh hun - I don't know what to say, but I don't want to read and run xx

Sorry I didn't write more earlier sweetie. Yor situation must really stress you out. I'm not sure what to suggest regarding the medical costs issue, as I haven't really got a clue how it all works over there I'm afraid.

With regards to your phobia of medical care and such, have you considered seeing a counceller at all - to not only try and come to terms with what you've been through, but also to help you combat your fear of medical intervention? Again, I appreciate that this may well all boil down to money though, and I'm sure one of the ladies based in the US may be able to suggest an approach for you. You do sound confident that you're going to have a happy and healthy pregnancy, which is great Both my mother and grandmother had long, drawnout labours which doesn't really bode too well for me...! Anyway, sorry I can't be more of a help hun

I wouldnt know what to suggest hope you work it out x

just go for your scans hun thats all they really need 2 check beans doing fine, then when you do actually go in to labour your will to be a mother and do your best for your baby will take over. you will be fine hun x

Hi there! I live in the US (VA to be exact) and I know that there are programs out there to help you get the care that you need. You may want to try contacting the Family Health Line [PDF, 31.1KB] (formerly the Healthy Baby Hotline) a statewide toll-free number (1-800-451-2229) established by the Department of Health (DOH) and the Florida Healthy Mothers/Healthy Babies Coalition.

They should be able to get you started. As far as the midwife question and your phobias, I dont' really have any suggestions, but I am sure that most healthcare providers will work with you.

I am actually surprised they go by what your boyfriend makes for medicare and medicaid if your not married. I'm a little stumped by that one. Is it because you are living in the same house or what?
Anyways I suggest with the prenatals to just go out and buy your own. So far that is what I've done. It was only around $15 for a 90 day supply. Just make sure it has plenty of folic acid and you should be okay with those if you haven't already bought them. Any place sells them walmart, kmart, target, etc.
Next question I have is if there are any teaching type of hospitals around you? My friend who just had her baby in April of this year went to one of those teaching hospitals and got 4D ultrasounds and it was by donation. Of course students are the ones doing the ultrasounds so they can learn. I'm not sure if they can do regular appointments too but I think it is worth looking into if you have one of these in your area.
As for the anxiety about hospitals..That is definately a hard one. I guess just try to remember this isn't just you anymore and that you have to tough it out for that sweet little baby your carrying around. If you start to freak just picture that baby in your arms in a few months. Maybe visualizing something happier will help ease your anxiety. I know I'm not much help but I'm new to this too.

Yes, we live in the same house. I did get free prenatals from the health department, but the next step was medicaid applications and food stamp and WIC and I got denied for them all

Aww I'm sorry hun. I wish I could help more. I will call a friend of mine that is pregnant now too. Her and her boyfriend aren't married and he is military too. So it is somewhat the same situation. I'll see what she is doing to cover everything.