spelbound

sorry i can say here with true venom STFU. That wasnt at all constructive. You are not in her position so have no right to be so judgemental....especially in such a childish way.

For the OP..

You may find that talking to the father will help your decision.
1. He may say he doesnt want a child either
2. He may be excited about it. Him being excited about it may help you feel more positive about having a child.

My OH is nearly 11 weeks pregnant and I know the only reason she is having a child is because she knows I want one very badly. She's dong it for me...at least thats how it was at first. But in the last couple of weeks she has been more positive about it and has started to talk and ask questions. Sometimes you need to give these things some time to sink in. Dont rush this decision and IMO def involve the father.

And regardless of what you do....dont get married...it would be a huge mistake.

Tracie87

as much as i think that comment was harsh u gotta member spelbound maybe shes a woman thats lost a baby or cnt have kids and is upset that sum cud just b so silly and overlook a child like that.
u dnt no untill youv lost a child.

spelbound

Very true Tracie point taken.

kadey

I have lost a child but to speak to someone who is in such an awkward position is just damn right horrible. I understand that some woman can desperatly long for a baby and some woman can fall pregnant after a one night stand. Just because this woman fell pregnant 'by accident' doesn't mean we should judge her. She has come here looking for advise, like most of us have. At first i didnt know what the hell i wanted to do, i fell pregnant while on the pill but this site has given me the support i need to be able to carry on the pregnancy and remember that it is a blessing. All she is wanting is advice about her own situation. surley we can't judge her over that?!
I do not agree with abortion for the simple reason that if you can do the deed you can live with the concequences.
Decalypso, first off all if you dont love this guy dont get married. simple. On the matter of the baby, the father has a right to know either way. it is not fair or right that you keep it from him. At the end of the day this child is his as much as yours.
you need to sit down and think deaply about your choices. If your hell bent on having and abortion then you need to speak to someone professional about it first so u can understand the feelings you will experience afterwards. do not forget there is always adoption. you are giving another woman the right to a family that way.
good luck in your choice.

Tracie87

maybe shes lost more than one and cant have kids...
i no i have and it upsets me

kadey

I know its upsetting, after i lost my first baby my best friend turned round to me and told me she was pregnant and was getting an abortion. She told me while she had a double vodka in her hand. I wanted to punch her.
This young lady has got her self into a very hard situation, i just think that if she wants advise we should give her it (like we do with everyone else) and not judge her for decisions.
Thats just my view tho

decalypso

I know it was irresponsible of me to sleep with my ex, I know it. I don't need telling that. But I didn't just fall into bed with him, not bother to use protection and then act surprised when I got pregnant. I had recently come off the pill since my fiance had gone abroad and so we used condoms. Not a single one of them broke. On an intellectual level I know that they don't always work, but when everything appears to have gone smooth you just don't suspect it will happen to you.

Thank you for your reply though.



That's not really helping is it? And what is with the "life must be so hard for you NOT". Fair enough if you're angry at me because maybe the issue is sensitive for you (at first I was hesitant about posting this in case I upset people trying for babies and I really didn't want that) but are you really suggesting this isn't difficult for me? I can't believe that.

thelilbump

All i'm gonna say is don't marry him if theres no love, neither of you will be happy and it'll probably end up in divorce. Its not your parents gettin married is it? It's you and him. I'd sit him down and talk with him. As for the pregnancy thats a whole different ball game.

Stephanie16

I would suggest you speak with your ex as if you do you may feel better about things. I don't think it is fair to just have an abortion without speaking to him about it especially if you were so in love.
I would not marry some one I did not love it will never last and you will be miserable. Marraige and having a baby are huge things, do you think your fiance will really want to marry you knowing your pregnant with your ex's baby that is not fair on your fiance as even though you do not love him 100% he may love you.
I think if i was in your shoes I would tell my ex as you still obviously have feelings for him then I would call off my wedding as it is just pointless marrying him if you are not in love! Hope you work things out.

6lilpigs

It may be the perfect reason your babies father is looking for for him to escape his pointless wedding. I know it would take the shine off my day if I thought my intended's mind and heart was elsewhere.