rae05

Okay, so I'm almost 10 weeks pregnant. Adam's mother has NOT contacted me at all. Adam says she's fine with it and has accepted it, but she hasn't even asked me how I'm feeling. She used to invite us down for supper all the time. Since I've been pregnant, nothing. Not a phone call, nothing. She's started calling his cell directly instead of the house phone.

We had an alright relationship. I didn't like the way she treated Adam sometimes but it wasn't that big of a deal and she didn't know I felt that way. Now she's completely avoiding me. I can't call her because I've never called her up before and it would be weird. I told Adam I thought it was weird and he said it isn't. So I don't know. I'm not even sure he's told her, but I think he did..and why else would she stop the contact??

How exactly do I deal with this? My mom is so involved in this pregnancy and I don't understand why she isn't. She loved me and Adam together, it wasn't like it was a huge disapointing thing. I mean its her grandchild, why doesn't she want to be involved??

rafwife

Hmm without knowing all the ins and outs of the relationship it's hard to comment, but if I were in your position I would ask my OH to turn his phone off when in the house so that she would have to phone the house.

Is it possible that she could be feeling a bit left out herself?

Ema

I can relate to you. My MIL phoned me to have an abortion after that I never heard from her luckily she lives in Spain so dont have to see her. Anyway after the first 6 weeks everyone was so excited. But she knew she had shoot herself in the foot. So when she came to visit in feb. She couldnt even look me in the eye. Needless to say her excuse was she was protecting her son(who was shocked but happy) LOL he's 23 what does he need protecting from lol. Anyway now she knows she'll never be seen in the same light and she hates it. But she made her bed she can lie in it lol and my OH agrees she did the wrong thing.

I think what your MIL is doing is weird and you should really speak to you OH or even tho i know its weird give her a ring and ask if she wants to meet up or something. Its best out in the open now rather than when the baby comes lol xxx

polo_princess

It does sound weird hun ... leave it a week or so then bring it up with your OH again and see what he says

leeanne

I really don't know what to say in this situation. Thank goodness my MIL is not like that but if she were, I'd be very concerned like you are.

Why don't you, yourself, give her a call. Perhaps she is thinking the same as you are. Sometimes you just have to nip things in the bud and find out for yourself how she feels. If it is negative, then at least you will know and will not be stressing out about why she is being the way she is.

cosmotbear

I'd definitely bring it up again with your OH, maybe he can speak to her about it or arrange a dinner to break the ice? Shes perhaps in shock, sure she'll come round once the serious baby talk begins. Def get the OH to turn his cell phone off, thats a good idea and will force her to chat to you.

DonnyDoo

I was wondering this, my OHs mum hasnt rung me once..and when she rings him,me and the baby never comes up in convo till he brings it up for her. Pisses me off a bit to be honest.

Maybe they are just pissed off coz we have defiled their precious baby sons!

rae05

I'm going to leave it be for another week or something. If she doesn't make any contact, I'll bring it up with OH again. I mentioned it last night, but if I say that his mother's behaviour is odd, he gets very defensive and tells me I'm wrong and that what she is doing is fine and normal (yeah right!). I would very much like the situation to be reveresed and something huge be happening to him and MY mom not call him up. That WOULD not happen, she'd probably be on the phone to him before his own mother would be.

I just don't want her to hate me or the baby. I mean, I don't want her to blame us for changing his life. He was part of this baby making process too, and I don't want to be blacklisted from their family because she thinks its my fault. I think she might be pissed that I wasn't on BC pills and probably thinks I was trying to get pregnant. Adam did say something about her asking why I wasn't on them. Little does she know it was for health reasons.

~ Vicky ~

That's the thing though with mothers.. they're very protective over their sons. As the saying goes 'Daddy's Girl, Mummy's Boy'. Its not meant as a criticism but its so true and often goes a bit over the top.

My baby's Dad and I have split up (all his doing) and his Mum is over the moon because she felt I was trapping him. He's 25 for God's sake, and i'm 21. Hardly entrapment. I haven't spoken to her since the news of my pregnancy broke, but I know for sure she hates it because now its entrapment (in her eyes).

At the end of the day she's looking out for her son and you've done nothing wrong. If it was me i'd call her up and say you've been looking at stuff for the baby and want to know if she wants to help, or tell her you're having your scan soon and does she want a copy of the picture. That's then giving her no way of avoiding you and the situation.

Zanny

Mother in laws are strange creatures. When I was pregnant with my first, my OH's mum accused me of lying about it because I didn't have a bump at 20 weeks & apparently she started showing at 2 months She didn't believe that I was actually pregnant until she saw the scan pics with my name on them.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.. I hope things are resolved soon.