Oh ladies, what a thing to be going through and it should be a wonderful time. All Ica think is that once things settle down, he will get used to it and start to accept it and hopefully when he claps eyes on his tiny little one for the first time, he will forget everything he felt at the start. He sounds scared, my DH was aswell but they all react to the prospect of fatherhood differently. I think some time to think and adjust is whats needed for both of you and maybe then he will come to his senses. Im here for you if you need anyone sweets xxxx

Oh hun, I really do feel for you.

Just wanted to reassure you that if baby is healthy then nothing bar physical trauma (falling down stairs type thing) will hurt your newly forming LO. They're snug and secure and well cushioned from the stresses of the outside world.

I would suggest that you pick a calm time to have a good long talk with your husband. Try to keep things calm and to ask him what he is feeling. (Please try not to get upset if his response is negative at this point as he probably just needs to vent). Try to explain that you thought that it was a mutual thing, like you have in your OP, and that you're upset that he feels this way. It may just be that it's a shock that he's going to be a Daddy, and he needs time to come to terms - it's a bit like mourning, as you're in effect ending a lifestyle in favour of another.

I agree that it's not on for him to act this way, but we all have feelings that we need to work through in order for a marriage, and parenthood, to work. There is an element of 'well, it's here now, deal with it' but this will not help him if he is fearful (which a lot of men and women can be when it all becomes reality).

I'm sorry that it has come to this and I hope it's sorted soon so that you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

I hope so too. I don't want him to resent me forever. But this was truly a joint decision - yes a compromise in that the baby is arriving a few months before he turns 30, but it's not a huge compromise on his part. I feel as if I'm being made out by him to be one of those girls who 'forgets' all her pills and falls pregnant. Where in actual fact we decided together for me to come off pill and decided together when to stop using other protection and begin trying.

Maybe a counselor can help? Also if he is concerned about cleaning if you two have jobs why not hire someone to come one week. We do that not because we are lazy but dont have the time. Its actually not that expensive. I hope it works out for you.

I've suggested that many times Newt4, but he refuses.

I mean about getting a cleaner. Not counselling.

lazy? you have a job already, are you supposed to do two jobs. i mean taking care of a house to me is job number 2.

tell him you will clean the house everyday if you can quit your job

but yea like the others said try to sit down with him and talk it over. maybe there is something else bothering him. i hope it all works out. if not, and it gets worse, maybe counseling is a good idea. my friends have tried that and all of those who went it always turned out good. good luck hon

I know this sounds harsh but quite honestly my dh would be told in no uncertain terms that he stop being verbally abusive, sit down and talk like and adult, and perhaps seek counselling or he could find himself somewhere else to live. It is understandable and normal to get cold feet, but it's totally unacceptable to treat your pregnant partner like this. I hope things get better, whatever way you decide to deal with this.

Hmm he sounds selfish. Just asking but did his mom do everything for him when growing up. His expectations sound unfair.

I'm sorry to say this but he sounds like a complete loser. Why are you still with him

He sounds like a control freak who will make your life a misery, I would just leave hun. It will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do but in the long term it will be best for everyone.