Vent about my friend who is "TTC"

mommy2baby2 · Feb 28th, 2010, 17:51 PM

I have a friend who is actively TTC...however, her boyfriend does NOT know...in a sense I feel like she is trying to trap him. She tells him she is on birth control but isn't and also "reassures" him by saying she will take the morning after pill during mid-cycle for the "just in case"...

I'm all about having babies but her situation really makes me angry. It's like she thinks a baby will solve her relationship problems or something. And I'm sure there are many expecting moms on this site that are doing (but not admitting to) doing the same thing. Overall I think she'd make a great mother...when the time is right...but what the heck?

Sorry to sound so negative but I just had to get this off my chest. Why do people do stuff like this? Then there are those couples that are actually TRYING and cannot concieve but she is trying to get PG without him knowing....

Zakiya · Feb 28th, 2010, 17:55 PM

You need to tell her about herself.

isolabella · Feb 28th, 2010, 18:10 PM

Isn't trust the basis of any good relationship? A friend of mine did this too and to all of our surprise they're still together 12 years later and have another child now too. So it can work but I just couldn't do it myself.

mommy2baby2 · Feb 28th, 2010, 18:34 PM

Yes, and in the end it's between them but when she sits there and "brags" about how she lies in order to get him to not wear protection just irritates me.

Just had to vent though. Thanks for listening!

Bingles · Feb 28th, 2010, 18:52 PM

That carry on makes me utterly sick. No man should be trapped into that situation if she wants a baby thats fine go and get a sperm doner or ask him if he wants one better still thats just sly

NurseKel · Feb 28th, 2010, 18:52 PM

I don't see why anyone would do this. I guess as a divorced mom I know how hard it is to not have a relationship work out when there are children involved. I also feel it is really unfair on her boyfriend's part. This man is trusting in her to prevent unwanted pregnancy and she is lying to his face. If she wants a child so badly she should just go out and ge knocked up by someone who would never know, not trap a man who may truly care for her by lying. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I have seen this too many times and it really angers me.

Aidan's Mummy · Feb 28th, 2010, 18:58 PM

I wouldn't do it my self as I personally couldnt do it to my OH

But do you not think the want for a child can be so strong it drives people to do strange things, things that they would have been totally against before hand
xx

MiissMuffet · Feb 28th, 2010, 19:04 PM

My friend has a naerly 3 year old and cant cope and has had numerous boyfriends and i kept telling her go on the pill, and she just says i will, (she is too busy apparently), i told her make it a priority, do it for your son! And she says yea i am! But now she is 5 weeks pregnant and got her appointment to terminate next week (OMG!!!). It's really hard to try and talk to your friends about some things isnt it, when you can see things are going to go wrong but they just won't listen until it's too late. It's not fair on the dads, or on the babies, it's so sad

xx

a_nice_cuppa · Feb 28th, 2010, 19:09 PM

That's awful, poor guy. That woman sounds like she needs some councelling.

kfarb · Feb 28th, 2010, 21:01 PM

You know, she's not just messing with him, she's also messing with a child's life. That's just wrong.

Feb 28th, 2010, 17:51 PM	#1
mommy2baby2 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Dublin Posts: 1,076	Vent about my friend who is "TTC" I have a friend who is actively TTC...however, her boyfriend does NOT know...in a sense I feel like she is trying to trap him. She tells him she is on birth control but isn't and also "reassures" him by saying she will take the morning after pill during mid-cycle for the "just in case"... I'm all about having babies but her situation really makes me angry. It's like she thinks a baby will solve her relationship problems or something. And I'm sure there are many expecting moms on this site that are doing (but not admitting to) doing the same thing. Overall I think she'd make a great mother...when the time is right...but what the heck? Sorry to sound so negative but I just had to get this off my chest. Why do people do stuff like this? Then there are those couples that are actually TRYING and cannot concieve but she is trying to get PG without him knowing....

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Feb 28th, 2010, 17:55 PM	#2
Zakiya Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Brooklyn, NYC Posts: 87	You need to tell her about herself.

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Feb 28th, 2010, 18:10 PM	#3
isolabella Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 659	Isn't trust the basis of any good relationship? A friend of mine did this too and to all of our surprise they're still together 12 years later and have another child now too. So it can work but I just couldn't do it myself.

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Feb 28th, 2010, 18:34 PM	#4
mommy2baby2 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Dublin Posts: 1,076	Yes, and in the end it's between them but when she sits there and "brags" about how she lies in order to get him to not wear protection just irritates me. Just had to vent though. Thanks for listening!

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Feb 28th, 2010, 18:52 PM	#5
Bingles Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,178	That carry on makes me utterly sick. No man should be trapped into that situation if she wants a baby thats fine go and get a sperm doner or ask him if he wants one better still thats just sly

Status: Offline

Feb 28th, 2010, 18:52 PM	#6
NurseKel Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 1,089	I don't see why anyone would do this. I guess as a divorced mom I know how hard it is to not have a relationship work out when there are children involved. I also feel it is really unfair on her boyfriend's part. This man is trusting in her to prevent unwanted pregnancy and she is lying to his face. If she wants a child so badly she should just go out and ge knocked up by someone who would never know, not trap a man who may truly care for her by lying. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I have seen this too many times and it really angers me.

Status: Offline

Feb 28th, 2010, 18:58 PM	#7
Aidan's Mummy Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Hull Posts: 11,002	I wouldn't do it my self as I personally couldnt do it to my OH But do you not think the want for a child can be so strong it drives people to do strange things, things that they would have been totally against before hand xx

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Feb 28th, 2010, 19:04 PM	#8
MiissMuffet Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New Zealand Posts: 9,927	My friend has a naerly 3 year old and cant cope and has had numerous boyfriends and i kept telling her go on the pill, and she just says i will, (she is too busy apparently), i told her make it a priority, do it for your son! And she says yea i am! But now she is 5 weeks pregnant and got her appointment to terminate next week (OMG!!!). It's really hard to try and talk to your friends about some things isnt it, when you can see things are going to go wrong but they just won't listen until it's too late. It's not fair on the dads, or on the babies, it's so sad xx

Status: Offline

Feb 28th, 2010, 19:09 PM	#9
a_nice_cuppa Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 117	That's awful, poor guy. That woman sounds like she needs some councelling.

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Feb 28th, 2010, 21:01 PM	#10
kfarb Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas, USA Posts: 1,852	You know, she's not just messing with him, she's also messing with a child's life. That's just wrong.

Status: Offline

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