Chel

My partner, since the early days of us dating, had already chosen 3 names for his children, two boys names and a girls name. More recently, a few months before I got pregnant, I told him that I dont really like the names he'd chosen, but I didn't feel like I really needed to push the point, considering there was no baby to name.

Now there is a baby to name, and several times I've mentioned to him that I'd like to discuss the names for our baby, and he jokingly replies that its already decided, on those occasions I wasn't 'very' pregnant, so, I didn't push the point.

Last night I said to him at dinner that we dont have to talk about it now, but I would like to talk about the name sometime in the next few months so we can find a name that we both like, for a boy or a girl, or a couple of names to chose from when baby is born.

He didn't joke, I think he saw I was pretty serious... then.... and this was totally and utterly unexpected.... he was really upset, very upset. I tried to continue the conversation a little further, but he pretty much stopped talking to me... now its 8am the next day and we've exchanged no more than 10 words since we left the resturant.

I'm really confused and hurt that he's just shut me off because he wasn't going to name our children however he pleased without discussing it with me. Also, this is really unlike him, particularly since I've been pregnant, he's been so doting and sweet and caring since I've been pregnant. (not that he wasn't before I was pregnant, but, definately more so now... he's been driving me to work every day even though it only takes me 20 minutes to walk)

I called him just before, to point out he left without saying goodbye, and he wasn't rude, but he was abrupt and told me he'd call me later.

I dont know what to do. Also... to add insult to injury, I've got a nasty cold and I've pretty much lost my voice, so I cant call my mum, because it would be too hard to explain over the phone!

rae05

Aww. That's weird that he has the names picked and he's so settled on them! I bet he wouldn't like it if you were settled on names he didn't like. I would explain to him that its your baby too and you just don't like the names and can't envision naming your child that.

I'd let it blow over, he probably felt like this was his one permanent 'say' on the baby, since you're the one carrying it and feeling it.

pocahontas35

That is really frustrating. I am sorry he is being so strange. You really need to talk to him, even if he is just going to listen and be angry. Then give him time to think about your side of things. I hope he realizes he is being a bit selfish. Sorry hun.

ryder

I agree with rae... women control everything with children, we conceive and carry the baby, we go through all the physical changes, we feel the baby all the time. They are just an outsider looking in kind of.

I would also let this blow over, give him some time. It is too bad that you cant agree over something as small and petty as the baby's name. One of you will have to make a compromise. Maybe ask him if there are other names he likes.

My OH wanted to name our baby Jason, which I like, but I dated 2 Jasons when I was younger. So we decided it wasnt a good name. lol

Chel

I hope it'll kind of blow over.

And maybe it is like the one thing he feels he'll get a say on with the pregnancy.

I'm a bit worried that it might be a cultural thing, his father named his children, his grandfather named his etc, so, my partner might feel like its just an assumed right.

He did actually send me an message on the phone shortly after I posted this morning to let me know that he was going to busy so he wouldn't be able to call until after lunch and also to wish me luck with my drivers test, so that made me feel better.... until he didn't call and then I called him because his mum called me and asked me to pass on a message... the second i'd passed on the message he said "okay,bye" and hung up... I'm so frustrated! I feel like I'm dating again, like I have to interpret mixed messages because I cant just ask him outright!

Not happy still... also... random craving... I really want potato salad, and my doctor said I can have pre-made potato salad and I have no idea how to make it... I think i might need to call my mum after all and ask her for the recipe!!!

Anyway, thanks for understanding and all.... my ability to cope with minor challenges lately has been pretty bad, I get upset so easily lately! Stupid hormones!

rae05

Sorry this may be rude, but what culture is he a part of??? I know in some Asian countries the man does have the "right" to name the baby. I don't know if that is his heritage or not. I sincerely hope it isn't a culture thing because that would throw you up against a big wall with his family.