Yes! It is very complicated! I am just going to think about it over the w/e and hope i come to the right decision by monday. I will be 8 weeks on Sunday (fX) so i may feel a little better about telling her.

hmm yes thats not too bad.

i'm still very early days

I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid for my cousin in May. I'll be about 24 weeks then. She has NO IDEA I had been trying to get pregnant, or that I am now pregnant. Bad thing is, we were measured for dresses before I got pregnant, and they came in the week I found out I was expecting... SO, now I have a dress I won't be able to wear and a bridezilla to inform of our exciting news. I, like many of you was determined not to tell until after my 12 week ultrasound. Well, that's next week and after that the world will know. I am absolutely dreading telling her because she's already had to "replace" a few bridesmaids because they "decided to go off and get pregnant." These were her exact words a couple of months ago, although not in reference to me because she still has no idea....

Oh no! I totally empathise with you....my sister is a bit like that too!

I'm not a bridesmaid but my friend is getting married 3 days after my due date, as I am not sure if I will be overdue or have a tiny baby or be in labour so I have told her I will go to the church and go at night if I can because I don't want her to have to pay for me and DH at the reception if we can't be there and, as horrible as it sounds, from what people have told me I probably will be really really tired (whether I've had the baby or not) and it will be too much to be there all day!

I would tell her right away before she spends anything letting her know the situation and the 12 week mark. Just ask her not to get anything before 12 weeks. As far as attending the wedding, honestly, I am 35 weeks tomorrow and it's pretty uncomfortable, don't think I'd be able to go anywhere at 39+. Plus given that it's your second, your body would know what to do a bit earlier and most likely you'd already have your LO by then.

Congrats on your BFP xxxx

I will be 32 weeks on MY wedding day!

I have already bought my dress and I am determined I will fit in it!!

I had my baby at 39+1.. sorry I don't think you'll be able to be bridesmaid just incase. You don't want to let her down on her big day. Hopefully LO will hang on so you can still attend the wedding though.

yeah i was thinking last night how rough i felt this point last time. I'll just have to tell her it's just unfrntunate it's so close. i feel like my other friends might get all screwy at me 'like couldn't i of put if off', we've been trying for 6 month, ideally baby would of been due in 3 months. I wasn't going to something that might not of happened off, just bad timing I guess.
Only best friend that asked me, and she's the last close friend to get married so i'm a bit gutted!!

this situation is more common than you'd think! I often read about bridesmaids getting pregnant before the big day cause I guess you never know what will happen during the year or 2 or whatever it takes to plan a wedding! I'm in a sort of similar situation myself, well I'm not pregnant yet but I'm hoping to be, I'm due to be my best friend's maid of honour in november. I asked a few people what to do, because I wanted to try for a baby but knew that if I was to get pregnant soon then I might not be able to be her bridesmaid, and every single one of them said just do it and don't worry about it, I was worried people would think I was selfish or something? (and worried she'd be annoyed?!) but everyone's said you can't put your life on hold for someone else's wedding day. So I bet that's what your friends will say too, they'll all be really happy for you I very much doubt anyone would even suggest you change your life plans for somebody else, especially as in the grand scheme of things a wedding is just one day.
Sorry I've just rambled on a bit and probably not told you anything you don't already know lol

All the best x