i agree! x

I can understand that they might work with some people, but for others they can make birth feel terrifying. When it comes down to it, health professionals work to an ethical code of conduct and threatening or implying intervention without consent contravenes it. You can say almost exactly the same thing to make a woman aware that interventions will be their only option to birth baby safely if baby isn't pushed out quickly without removing the womans feeling of control or autonomy.

personally, i thought the midwife was excellent and responded to the woman in that way purely because she had become so tired and unresponsive. she used a few different angles when encouraging the woman to push, i didn't interpret what she said as a threat, she seemed to me to just be telling her what would happen if she gave up pushing.

but it wasn't what would happen, only what would need to be advised, and if the woman consented to it, it would happen. I know it's a small thing to a lot of people and that's fine, but I think language is very important in health care particularly when people are at their most vulnerable. You only need to look around this board to see veiled threats, women feeling powerless or bullied in pregnancy and labour, the idea that any healthcare professional can 'allow' something, or 'do' something to you because you are having a baby is inherant in our healthcare system. I'm sure she is an excellent m/w but even excellent m/ws and nurses become complacent in language and practice die to the culture in certain clinical areas. If making that statement is ok with 80% of women in labour because they believe it to be for their own good, but changing the statement slightly to maintain the patients autonomy and prevent the other 20% from feeling powerless, passive and dis-empowered, then why not simply change the language instead of accepting it.

^^^^^^agree!

also, i already have decided on a home birth if possible because of seeing my mum and friend in labour in hospital being 'looked after' by the hospital.
That midwife was actually making pointless conversation with the 18yr old WHILE the poor woman was actually having a contraction!!!!and just ignoring her! appaling!! it just reminded me of 10 yrs ago when my mum was in labour and her midwife was flirting with my dad!!

i know, i know some are excellent and are really caring etc and don't want to upset anyone, but some are just aren't.

Have you seen the homebirth and hopefuls thread Jenkins? This will be my second homebirth if all goes to plan. Can't wait.