Hi Girls,

I had the dreaded scan today, i hate the EPU as i've only ever had bad news from there & now i have another bad experience to add to my list.
After my 2 MC's last year i thought this time was 3rd time lucky, i also thought because i was due on my dad's Birthday 2nd September it was a good omen that this was a meant to be baby!

Well i was wrong after 2 weeks of spotting brown discharge like CM I went for an early scan today at 9w3d to be told my baby had stopped growing last week at some point as he/she was measuring at 8 weeks or so. This would be around the same time as i stopped being sick although i still had my extreme tiredness and really sore boobs so i stayed hopefull that all was well?.
I am so devastated that this has happened again i dont feel like i can pull myself up n start all over again its just too hard. This past year has taken away any goodness i could ever have felt from being pregnant.

I hate the scans being told sorry theres no Heartbeat!!. I hate the pregnancy tests and all the questions are they darker or has the line faded Why havent i got 3+ on Digi Yet??. I hate the worry of why arent i throwing up today & why arent my boobs killing as much??. I hate that we have had to be on a sex ban for the past 8 weeks because im too scared to let my OH near me.
And this worry & fear for nothing!!! I have nothing to show for it but 4 Angel Babies . God i am too angry right now.

I am really sorry for the rant i have just had enough at the minute, cant believe im gonna feel that emptyness once again it just breaks my heart, We have decided not to try again untill my fertility specialist finds a cause for the 3 MC's i cant put me and my OH through this again.

Good Luck to all of u, thanks for all ur advice and help throughout these past 9 weeks.

Thanks for listening girls i wish u all H&H 9 months & beautiful bouncing beans x x x x x

Lov N Hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Caz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

so so sorry hunny x

I'm truly sorry for you loss hun. Hopefully specialist can find whats wrong and you'll have 11 babies one after the other. Sending you much love and hugs xxxxxx

So sorry hon x

Oh honey. You're so brave. I'm in tears reading your posts. My heart goes out to you and you OH. Have a good rant whenver you need to hon. You deserve it. I do hope the specialists can give you some answers, and I'm sure that one day you'll be successful.

Sending lots of love x x x

I am so sorry to hear what you have been through- sending you lots of

OMG....so sorry to hear your news darling....i cant imagine how you feel. Thoughts are with you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am sorry.

so sorry to hear your sad news x x

Oh I am so sad for you, My heart and prayers are with you and will be... god bless you and keep your Faith