Rachiebaby24

Have been feeling really up and down at the moment…..

One minute I'm really happy then I feel like I wanna cry for no reason, then im worried about the scan and everything being ok…..

Also, ive been feeling really guilty about my OH……for the last few weeks all I have done is moan and be sick and moan and sleep!! He has been doing all the housework, cooking, cleaning and I feel really bad……the sickness has eased of a bit now but I just cant be bothered or motivated to anything other than sit on sofa…..we both got home from work yesterday (I have a sit down secretary job) and he has a building job (so hard labour!!) and bless him he cooked, then cleaned up whilst I sat on the sofa and slept…I woke up this morning feeling so bad! I havent really been near him at all and cos he hasn’t really moaned I feel soooo bad! And that’s also making me feel insecure….and the whole time I have been with him I have NEVER felt insecure!!

And…has anyone else worried about having a baby? It really is what I want but I'm worried about how it will affect me and OH's relationship….it can put a strain on relationships…and also as much as I want this baby…I get feelings that im trapped!! Does everyone get this with their first? Its dawned on me that I wont be able to just get up and go nowhere again….that I have someone else to think about 24 hours a day…..am I wrong to feel like this? This is making me feel guilty as well…

I feel so alone and want to …..

My mum (who is 44 and doesn’t have a job and is going out with a married man) really wants some more kids but me and my brothers and sister are against it so I cant talk to her cos anytime I talk about being pregnant she gets all jealous and gets on my nerves and my sister and brother doesn’t seem interested and I don’t want to moan to OH anymore! Everyone at work havent had kids and the ones that have….well I cant talk to them plus when I told one…the only thing she said was "is this baby with your coloured boyfriend?" (im white and my OH is black)….which says it all really! (a baby is a baby - does it matter what colour it is???) Ive just moved to a new area so havent any friends here….

Sorry for the long post…didn’t know where else to turn to…..(though I feel a bit better just having got it off my chest…)

Mervs Mum

Everything you are saying sounds like totally normal worried that we all have at some point or another. You are nearly at 12 weeks and believe me you will start to feel better soon. I know I'm feeling better now - I sat on my arse for weeks at the start and did bugger all!!! I'm suprised my hubby didnt leave me!!! as far as talking about things - you have us some come on here or in the chatroom and we'll listen.

Rachiebaby24

Thank you.......i hope so or my sofa will start having a permanent bum print in it!!

greenkat

I've been feeling exactly the same! My OH's a gardener (working in Croydon) and he's been doing almost everything whilst I've been complaining at him that I feel so tired and sick. Luckily my mum's been fairly good but that's difficult too cos she and all my family live in Leeds (where I'm originally from).

Last few days me and my OH have taken extra time to just talk things over cos I am so scared of the idea of Labour and everything else just seems really overwhelming!!! - so now I feel a bit better about it and less alone cos he's just as concerned and we're going through it together.

I think my hormones are calming down a bit too, lol.

I hope things start to look better soon!!

Rachiebaby24

Thanks Greenkat......Glad im not the only one.....where abouts in london you from? Im streatham so not far from where you OH works! Is this your first baby?

I just want to feel myself.....im normally so active but just cant be bothered to do anything....!! Suppose i should make the most of it as will be busy when baby is born! LOL

greenkat

I'm usually pretty active too so I know how you feel!!

I live in Lewisham - not far away!! This is my first baby, I'm due around the 1st of November - haven't had a scan yet though.

Rachiebaby24

Im due end of October...I havent had my scan either although it is booked for 18 April...im sure you should get yours soon!

greenkat

I hope so!! I've got my first appointment with the midwife on Thursday which I'm sort of looking forward to (though I'm not entirely sure what it involves??).

Good Luck with your scan, let me know how it goes. I reckon everything'll be ok

gde78

What you've said sounds completely normal. I've only just managed to leave my beloved sofa alone this week! And today is the first day I've gone to the gym since BFP. I'm completely knackered now, but I'll worry about that later lol!

Hormones are weird things and they affect everyone differently and at different times. I had a whole weekend of thinking I was going to be a crap mummy and proper sobs and gulps on Sunday night about it, but I felt fine on Monday morning. Just try and go with the flow, and if you're having a really bad day then let rip on here, or try and think that it's just the hormones and it'll pass!

Hope your scan goes well next week. You should start to feel better soon!

Take care

bluebell

I can totally relate to what you've said

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was totally overjoyed but after a couple of weeks I started to feel a bit overwhelmed. Even though baby was planned I started to worry about the effect of having a baby on my life and questionning whether we'd made the right decision... I think this was compounded by feeling so dreadful, I felt almost out of control over my own body

Thankfully I am 100% over that feeling now. As my morning sickness started to disappear and I started to get my energy back (and my zest for life - DH said I lost my spark for a few weeks ) I started to really look forward to being a mum.

Sorry this is a bit long winded, really all I'm trying to say is that I think we all have these anxieties. Even my MW told me she'd be worried if I didn't have some worries as having a baby is such a HUGE change for us...no more being selfish or just thinking about ourselves!!

The other stuff you've said I agree with too - I have been so lethargic and my DH has been an absolute star! I can't overstate how grateful I am to him for doing all he can to make this as easy for me as possible!!

I hope you start feeling a bit brighter soon