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Is it wrong that I don't want to tell them?

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Old Mar 30th, 2008, 20:46 PM   #1
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Is it wrong that I don't want to tell them?


My dad's side of the family is insane. My grandmother is a bitter, haggard old bag whom I cannot stand and is increasingly mean everytime I see her. I have no desire to be around her myself, and honestly if my child never sees her I wouldn't feel that there was anything missing out of his/her life. I feel bad because I get along well with my aunt and would LOVE to tell her, but I know she'll tell my grandmother. My cousin's girlfriend, who is 27 and years older than me(I'm only 20), finally told her that she was pregnant (she's like 30 weeks now, they felt that they had to wait that long because she's just so horrible) and she said "you should have kept your F*ing legs closed". What a cheerful, loving woman, eh?

I really do NOT want to tell her I'm pregnant, if it were up to me she wouldn't know at all. Ever. But I feel horrible about not telling my aunt. My mother says that its not fair not to tell them, and that she is my grandmother and I should take what she says with a grain of salt, but its not possible. If she says anything like she said to my cousin's gf, I am most certainly going to lose my temper and strain our relationship more. She has already had her son and her daughter walk out of her life, and three of her grandchildren because she is just such a mean, cruel old woman.

So what do you think? Should I tell her? Do I HAVE to tell her? Am I being a cruel person by not telling her?
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Old Mar 30th, 2008, 20:52 PM   #2
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You DON'T have to tell anyone especially not your grandmother if you don't want to.
It is YOUR baby so you should be able to decide when or if you do tell her.
She sounds horrible btw LOL
Good luck with whatever you decide to do :-)
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Old Mar 30th, 2008, 21:03 PM   #3
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you have got to do what best for you hun
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Old Mar 30th, 2008, 21:04 PM   #4
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I agree you do't HAVE to tell anyone, you could always wait to tell your Aunt, until your 12 week scan and then if she does tell your Grandmother - you won't ahve to be there to hear any insults she is likely to sling.

I haven't told many people, and we are waiting to tell my Dad and my OH's parents - and I actually LIKE these people. So do want you want - after all it is your baby, doesn't matter what anyone else says - don't let them rain on your parade
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Old Mar 30th, 2008, 21:32 PM   #5
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Maybe ask your Aunty to keep it to herself? I hope you find an answer either way hunny.
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Old Mar 30th, 2008, 22:51 PM   #6
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Who cares what that old bag of bones says to you? She's a terrible old hag no one can stand, apparently, so nothing that comes out of her mouth is worth a damn anyway.

I know words hurt, but take solace in knowing that nothing she says to you could ever matter. Tell your aunt and if she tells your grandmother, so what? The woman is clearly a bitter old loon.

And by the way, you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to. Word might spread but this is your baby and your body and if you don't want to deal with your grandmother you don't have to!
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Old Mar 31st, 2008, 09:49 AM   #7
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It's still early in your pregnancy so maybe you could tell your aunt and say to her that you have told her in confidence and that you will tell people after 12 weeks - lots of people do that anyway, then you can cross tha bridge when you come to it.
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Old Mar 31st, 2008, 09:57 AM   #8
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i think like gemgem, its really early, u dont have to tell anyone yet. if your grandmother is gonna put a strain on you -wait it out. the truth is shell find out anyway ,and if it not being from you will cause you grief, then just tell her when ure ready and ignore whatever she says. ure not looking for her approval ure just trying to be a good person.
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Old Mar 31st, 2008, 12:26 PM   #9
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You don't have to tell her.She sounds really mean and I wouldn't want someone insulting me and my child.
I already had to hear it from my parents and I never want to again.

Tell your Aunt to keep it to herself.If you two are close she'll understand...
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Old Apr 1st, 2008, 01:00 AM   #10
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do you have to speak with your grandmother either way? I mean, if you tell your aunt and she tells your grandmother, would she get a hold of you or anything? If not, you shouldn't worry about it. If so, just tell her to pipe down before she watches another one of her family members walk out of her life (hope i'm not being too harsh). I hope things go well for you, and they aren't as stressful as you thought they'd be.
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