My boyfriend, who is normally sweet and caring and loving and has never said a bad word to me, has turned into a monster since he found out I was pregnant. He is a real gentleman normally. For the whole time we've been together, he's said "we can start trying, you are the one that wants to wait, if it were up to me we would have a long time ago". Now that I am, he's pushing for an abortion and just being plain cruel about it.

He's constantly saying how keeping the baby is stupid and irresponsible and that I'm ruining both of our lives by doing this. I've stood my ground and told him I'm not doing it, so now it seems like he's trying to insult me into getting one. He's saying like "you're going to be huge, youre never going to lose your weight, youre going to be lazy and bitchy".

I reminded him of what he said before about trying and he said "yeah well I made a mistake with my words. I didn't mean it". But he's said this almost every day for 9 months.

I have NO idea where this is coming from, but its really making me feel like shit. He's acting like I'm ruining HIS life. He isn't thinking that maybe I have a person growing inside of me and I didn't plan this either. He is being COMPLETELY inconsiderate and selfish. This is NOT my boyfriend. He is NOT like this at all, or else I wouldn't be with him. I told him one more insult and I'm walking out.

Why the HELL is he acting like this, and what can I do to make him stop? Its really not making the fact that I find out I'm pregnant which turns my entire life and every plan I ever had upside down ,any easier.

perhaps now it is a reality he is just scared by the situation? People react in different ways and it could be that he will come round. I hope the situation improves for you - good luck (and congratulations on the pregnancy!)

Oh Hun I think men act this way when they get a shock like that. Mine did and wanted me to have an abortion. He soon got used to the idea and we had the baby, I am now pregnant with my 3rd. He will soon come round.
Good Luck and congratulations Hun.
Luv Cheryl xxx

awww hun thats horrible and u and bubs shouldnt have to put up with it it ur body! and it was both of u this happened to it takes to maybe sit him down and talk about things and if he carrys on then walk and see if he comes running cos he will dnt u wory! it takes men alot longer to grew up and except responsibilities its u and bubs now! dnt let him treat u thi way good luck chick hear if u need a chat! xx

aww im sorry to hear this... yah he sounds like an ass... but I agree, he is likely scared and seeing all his free, fun-time going out the window. Having a baby is a life change. And it is scary... My pregnancy was not planned, so im having to make alot of decisions and changes, as well as my bf... But having a bf who supports you is the best thing.

Yes, when your about ready to pop you wont be able to do much... But it is up to him to help you and take on some chores. Its up to him to help care for the baby so you can excersize and get fit again. And its up to him to learn and do as much as he can. It is his baby too and his responsibility.

I would NOT accept my bf even mentioning abortion for our baby, I would kick his butt... seriously.

Maybe you and your bf need to go to a family counsellor? And get some advice, talk it out, with an anonymous 3rd party...

Good Luck!

I have been in this exact position and ended up having a termination (which i regretted)....dont be forced by anyone. (I ended up getting rid of him cos he treated me so badly)

Sit him down and say that you understand its a big life changing thing but you are having this baby and thats that. Either he gets used to the idea or he doesnt. He's with you or he's not. But either way he cannot sit around saying nasty things and stressing you out. Its one or the other. You stay and shut up or you go cos you are having this baby and thats the end of it.

Then see what he says. If he packs his bags, let him go....he may need the space to get his head used to things and then come back.

If he stays, then he has to quit the nastiness and accept what is happening, if not i'd pack his bags for him!! You and your baby do not need this.

Ive been there so i know how it feels and when i told my OH although i got "im not happy but im not upset" he has not pressured me in anyway. He knows im having this baby and he has come round and is excited now. Its a shock at first even if you have planned it so stand your ground and give him time but do not accept the nastiness as this is stress you and your baby dont need especially in these early days.

His behavior is definitely weird...and very mean and inconsiderate.

You should definitely ask him to explain what happened to him to you.You deserve to know what is going on.

Pushing you into having an abortion is just cruel.
My baby's dad never said that to me and we're not even together!That should be your decision just like it was mine to keep it!
I mean,my life plan certainly didn't include getting pregnant at this point of my life but it happened and I'm doing it and I'm happy about it...

And it sems to me that you decided already and for him to manipulate you and force you to terminate it is something he should definitely explain.

You should tell him that if he doesn't like your decision he can walk out and then see will he do it.

Or maybe give him a little scare.Go back to your parents for a while and when he sees that he could lose both you and your child he'll come around...

I just don't understand what could've happened to him...

Hey thats awful, i went through a similar thing with my bf. We hadn been trying but we'd talked about it within the next few years. My bf changed sooo much i just didnt know who he was, he kept saying to get rid of it that it would ruin our lives Luckily this only lasted a day and he decided it was a good thing but i wont ever forget how he changed. However (sorry if this is too mch) if someone is putting you down like that its the same as hitting you, its abuse. You need to get it sorted out cos you cant last in a relationship thats like that its not good for you or the baby. My mum and dad were like that and she had no confidence at all, there was never any violence just snide comments. Really sorry if thats past some line to say that.
I hope its just shock on his part and that he comes around, but perhaps you should look at your relationship. I really hope that you sort it out and i'm very sorry if i said something that was over stepping the mark.

First of all

You really need to have a sit down chat with your OH

I seriously think you both need to sit down and talk about this. If he doesn't listen or doesn't want to change, think of separating for the time being. You don't deserve this and I think it's so wrong what he has been saying to you.