I was looking online the other day at miscarriage risk after fetal hb detected-
anyway, I came across a forum where a few women were saying how happy they are to have seen the HB and how reassuring it is;

Some of the responses they received was very heartless and altho they maybe true, I dont think was really appropriate.

For example, one lady said "Dont take anything for granted, I saw a strong HB at 10weeks only to find out at 17weeks my baby had died, so dont believe all you read" TOTALLY bursting these poor ladies bubbles and undoubtedly making them worry as much as they did before seein the HB.

Yes its dreadful to hear that ladies loose their babies but sometimes I don't think it's really fair for that to be pushed into others faces, especially when those women have just been for a reassurance scan.

Alot of girls then went on to say that statistics mean nothing these days and not to listen to all you read... ie:seeing a HB decreases the chances of M/C..

You go looking for support and thats the sort of thing you come across..
the replies were almost full of attitude, too.

I really dont know why ladies would be like that to each other, is it bitterness? Jealousy? or do they think they are actually helping? I have no idea but i could never talk to anyone like that and i would do my best always to support women and make them feel better. xx

I agree, it is such a worrying time. I am worrying about everything at the mo, being first pregnancy I have no idea what to expect and I need some help with knowing what is going on!
I have googled just about everything but am glad I have found this forum where people are so supportive!
xxx

we must have googled the same thing! I came across a similar forum where someone had asked if anyone knew what the stats were for m/c after seeing hb at 8 weeks or something and a lot of the women who replied were really negative and told terrible stories of loss, which was cruel and didn't even answer the question.

I have to say even though nothing is gteed I was reassured about the stats and they must be based on real data so I don't see the harm in ladies looking to this for reassurance, why would you knock the wind out of someone like that??

I think some people just hate to see others happy hunni, and will do all they can to make them feel crap.

I think hearting the babys heartbeat is such a special time, how dare someone ruin it like that. Just because that woman had a mc at 17 weeks, what gives her the right to scare others into thinking they might? That poor woman is probably worrying so much now about her little baby, when she should be enjoying it instead.

Some people make me so mad...

yep, definitely the same site by the sounds of it.
it was absolutely full of negative stories... the poor woman only asked what the risk of m/c was.

Listen I completely understand what all of you are saying but isnt it a forum where lots of people can express their situation and their experiences. Whilst I know it can create doubt and uncertainty in people, it does happen, it happened to me and if it had'nt have been for some sites giving out this information I would never have known to look for "loss of symptoms" or a missed miscarraige. I had never heard of it till it happened. My losses had always been instant however the information I gathered led me to be scanned and confirm a missed miscarraige despite 3 scans all healthy with HB.

The forums are for everyone and anybody to express their situation and experiences so I dont think its fair to label them bitter and jealous.

I fear writing down my experiences now as I have experienced a hell of a lot in 2 years with losses and tests etc but not being able to write down how we dealt with or the journey we have experienced will also stop a lot of ladies getting the help and reassurance they need. Just think one lady may have had an experience of a loss but her information could just help someone recognise the symptoms before the danger arises.

Im sorry to express my feelings but I just think there should be a little fairness expressed here xxxxx

Perhaps the forum was not split up in the way this one is? for example in the TTC forum it states that you shouldnt announce your BFP. I think that sometimes we do need some reality and I have read on this forum many women being brave and honest with others- especially in the HPT Gallery and carefully advising people to test again later, and that they see no line.

The word here is "sensitivity". We are all freaking out. We need people to be supportive and calming. In my opinion its the doctors job to tell you the hard facts, not a forum. Although we get to know eachother over time, we have no idea of eachothers individual circumstances- only our GP or midwife can trully comment.

I just think that although what these women said may have been true, it was insensitive and unessasary to use those words.

I wouldnt prance into the ttc forum telling people that their symptoms might mean nothing as I had no symptoms.

thank you beatnick, thats exactly what i was getting at...

I agree with sensitivity but how do you seperate women writing about their losses etc in TTC ?? Its an open forum and people will write where they feel comfortable.

Ladies have made "friends" in those particular sections and as such should be allowed to write what is happening.

I do agree with the sensitivity though.