Should I tell my boss?

Ziggy2 · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:27 PM

Hi

I am really not sure about whether to tell my boss yet or not. I've got my 1st midwife's appointment tomorrow, and I think everyone is a bit suss, cause I'm finding it difficult not to keep mentioning when I am feeling sick. They have also noticed that I am very tired.

I feel uncomfortable lying about appointments and as I have never had time off for a doctors appointment before I think it will be even more suss with the one tomorrow, and then the scan in hopefully a few weeks time.

What are you all doing about telling work?

Cinnamon · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:31 PM

I have your same dilema but luckily I have my appt after work so I don't even have to take time off. In the future I know I have the right to take the days I need for the doctors but for the moment I'm not telling anyone. I'm waiting until jan, when I'll be 12 weeks gone, so the risk of mc is smaller.
What kind of boss do you have? Will he/she be happy for you? If so, I'd say maybe you can just tell him/her for your next appt, that gives you a couple more weeks, and ask him/her to keep it a secret until you decide to tell the rest. I'm sure you can work it out. Good luck.xxx

discoclare · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:37 PM

I had to tell them as soon as I knew (at 5 weeks) because I am a scientist and work with various chemicals including one known embryo teratogen. This means I am unable to do certain things in the lab at the moment so I had to let my boss and the safety officer know that I couldn't be exposed to that, and I had to tell some other colleagues who need to help me out by handling certain chemicals for me. I envy people who don't have to tell their bosses until later! I think it's weird that lots of people at work have known for weeks but no-one in my family does. Tell work whenever you feel ready to.

LadyM · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:38 PM

I told my boss today, he was really nice about it. He also said it explained a lot as I have been getting in late and going home early, also not concentrating like usual!

I felt better after I'd told him, I've got my first (paid for!!) scan on Wednesday as I'm quite anxious and can't wait another 4 weeks! I know its negetive but I figured he would find out whatever happened as I would have to tell him if I had time off for a m/c. If the worst happens I could get away without phoning work straight away and leaving him to work it out for himself until I feel ready!

I feel a lot less pressure to run at my normal pace now to, feel less like I have to explain myself if I'm late!

Fingers crossed for my scan on Wednesday, looking forward to it!

Ziggy2 · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:53 PM

My boss is lovely, but we are just at a stage were the office is running smoothly and one of my colleagues will panick at the thought that I will be leaving in June for Maternity leave. I think I will have to see how it goes, I'm more concerned about having to run out of a meeting with ms and not being able to explain it, as I am an awful liar. I wouldn't want to put my boss in a awkward position by asking her to keep it a secret! Its so difficult to know what to do!

kitten2 · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:54 PM

I told mine so that I could have time off for antenatal appointments, otherwise I wouldn't be able to go in work time, and I'm a teacher so that makes it very difficult to go 'after school'. I also told my head of department, who has been very supportive. I have had the past 2 weeks off because of flu and I don't think I would have had the same support if they didn't know I was PG! My OH also had to tell his boss so he could come to the scan. But they have to keep it confidential, otherwise they can get in big trouble!

aliss · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:58 PM

It really depends on you and your working conditions. Your boss has a responsibility to keep it confidential (if you don't want the office to know), so as long as you don't feel your job is threatened, go ahead and let it be known when it is right for you.

I told mine at 4 weeks. VERY early, yes, but I work in emergency services and sometimes can't leave my desk for 12 hours, so it is hard to explain why I puked in a bucket but... don't have the flu? LOL! I also had a lot of trouble with the 7pm-7am shifts. Other girls I work with (police officers) get pulled off the road as early as 5 weeks incase they get shot in the belly (has never happened with a pregnant one out here! But just incase).

Do what is right for you! It's your baby!

sar35 · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:58 PM

Im a teaching assistant so will prob tell my boss as soon as i get ms as ill have to leave classes etc... but either way ill prob tell them before christmas so i can get time off for appointments

ellie27 · Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:58 PM

In your situation it will be best to tell them.

I was very lucky. I am a school teacher and found out I was pregnant just 6wks before the start of the summer hols so up til then I didnt need time off work!!

I did however have to go back to work at 18wks and then tell them. They were great about it!

Go for it - you will be fine

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:27 PM	#1
Ziggy2 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 367	Should I tell my boss? Hi I am really not sure about whether to tell my boss yet or not. I've got my 1st midwife's appointment tomorrow, and I think everyone is a bit suss, cause I'm finding it difficult not to keep mentioning when I am feeling sick. They have also noticed that I am very tired. I feel uncomfortable lying about appointments and as I have never had time off for a doctors appointment before I think it will be even more suss with the one tomorrow, and then the scan in hopefully a few weeks time. What are you all doing about telling work?

Status: Online

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:31 PM	#2
Cinnamon Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Spain Posts: 1,941	I have your same dilema but luckily I have my appt after work so I don't even have to take time off. In the future I know I have the right to take the days I need for the doctors but for the moment I'm not telling anyone. I'm waiting until jan, when I'll be 12 weeks gone, so the risk of mc is smaller. What kind of boss do you have? Will he/she be happy for you? If so, I'd say maybe you can just tell him/her for your next appt, that gives you a couple more weeks, and ask him/her to keep it a secret until you decide to tell the rest. I'm sure you can work it out. Good luck.xxx

Status: Offline

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:37 PM	#3
discoclare Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: London, UK Posts: 2,769	I had to tell them as soon as I knew (at 5 weeks) because I am a scientist and work with various chemicals including one known embryo teratogen. This means I am unable to do certain things in the lab at the moment so I had to let my boss and the safety officer know that I couldn't be exposed to that, and I had to tell some other colleagues who need to help me out by handling certain chemicals for me. I envy people who don't have to tell their bosses until later! I think it's weird that lots of people at work have known for weeks but no-one in my family does. Tell work whenever you feel ready to.

Status: Offline

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:38 PM	#4
LadyM Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 21	I told my boss today, he was really nice about it. He also said it explained a lot as I have been getting in late and going home early, also not concentrating like usual! I felt better after I'd told him, I've got my first (paid for!!) scan on Wednesday as I'm quite anxious and can't wait another 4 weeks! I know its negetive but I figured he would find out whatever happened as I would have to tell him if I had time off for a m/c. If the worst happens I could get away without phoning work straight away and leaving him to work it out for himself until I feel ready! I feel a lot less pressure to run at my normal pace now to, feel less like I have to explain myself if I'm late! Fingers crossed for my scan on Wednesday, looking forward to it!

Status: Offline

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:53 PM	#5
Ziggy2 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 367	My boss is lovely, but we are just at a stage were the office is running smoothly and one of my colleagues will panick at the thought that I will be leaving in June for Maternity leave. I think I will have to see how it goes, I'm more concerned about having to run out of a meeting with ms and not being able to explain it, as I am an awful liar. I wouldn't want to put my boss in a awkward position by asking her to keep it a secret! Its so difficult to know what to do!

Status: Online

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:54 PM	#6
kitten2 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South Wales Posts: 230	I told mine so that I could have time off for antenatal appointments, otherwise I wouldn't be able to go in work time, and I'm a teacher so that makes it very difficult to go 'after school'. I also told my head of department, who has been very supportive. I have had the past 2 weeks off because of flu and I don't think I would have had the same support if they didn't know I was PG! My OH also had to tell his boss so he could come to the scan. But they have to keep it confidential, otherwise they can get in big trouble!

Status: Offline

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:58 PM	#7
aliss AutoSignup (SAAB) BnB Elite Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Québec Posts: 14,778	It really depends on you and your working conditions. Your boss has a responsibility to keep it confidential (if you don't want the office to know), so as long as you don't feel your job is threatened, go ahead and let it be known when it is right for you. I told mine at 4 weeks. VERY early, yes, but I work in emergency services and sometimes can't leave my desk for 12 hours, so it is hard to explain why I puked in a bucket but... don't have the flu? LOL! I also had a lot of trouble with the 7pm-7am shifts. Other girls I work with (police officers) get pulled off the road as early as 5 weeks incase they get shot in the belly (has never happened with a pregnant one out here! But just incase). Do what is right for you! It's your baby!

Status: Offline

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:58 PM	#8
sar35 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Deal, Kent Posts: 5,546	Im a teaching assistant so will prob tell my boss as soon as i get ms as ill have to leave classes etc... but either way ill prob tell them before christmas so i can get time off for appointments

Status: Offline

Nov 23rd, 2009, 14:58 PM	#9
ellie27 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: uk Posts: 8,703	In your situation it will be best to tell them. I was very lucky. I am a school teacher and found out I was pregnant just 6wks before the start of the summer hols so up til then I didnt need time off work!! I did however have to go back to work at 18wks and then tell them. They were great about it! Go for it - you will be fine

Status: Offline

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