I am mis-carrying - dont want to live anymore

Lauraaraa · Aug 8th, 2009, 09:59 AM

Hello

i am mis carrying i am sure
started bleeding on tuesday night, went to hospital they kept me in, sent me home next day as cervix was closed and wasnt bleeding loads, had a clot aswell

so went home on wedneday started bleeding loads more with clots to.
felt them coming out was horrible.

then thursday still bleeding and friday, along with period like pains and still today.

feel horrible.

cant be bothered with anything, so tired and look a mess but i dont deserve to look nice, put weight on coz eaing to make me feel better, not being sick now though

being sick is what did this, i hate bulimia, its killed my baby which didnt even have a chance in life.

it IS my fault.
i really dont want to be me anymore dont want to be here want to start my life over again.

this is me being punished for all the times i have hurt others in the past.

thanks for all your help over the past few months

FitzBaby · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:02 AM

This is not your fault! Theses things just happen sometimes. Hang in there and call a good friend to sit with you or your doc, tell them how you are feeling. Please! Thinking and praying for you.

RaeEW89 · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:02 AM

Hunny, did dr say you were have a m/c? And you really cant be hard on urself. Im not saying that bulimia is ok, but lots of women are sick for so much of their pregnancy and the baby is ok. I can barely keep anything down and bean is ok right now. Im sorry this is going so hard for you, if you need someone to talk to just pm me. I hope everythign gets better for you hun!

Lauraaraa · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:03 AM

not confirmed it yet, but i know i have tests are getting fainter already.

crying as i type now.

going for scan on monday. so will be confirmed then happy i have a scan on baby at 6 weeks though

its something

i just think my hormones were and are screwed

Laughing Girl · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:09 AM

Laura honey, I am so sorry that this is happening. You are such a lovely person.
Please please please go and speak to someone about your bulimia - it doesn't have to rule your life and you deserve so much more than feeling awful about yourself constantly.
I know what its like - I've been there myself.
x x x

Lauraaraa · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:11 AM

i will get help, need t get over this first.

OH said we can try again i really cant dont want to be pregnant again to go thru this
i will not be able to handle it

really wanted this baby we both did
i was just to selfish to give up bulimia for it and now its to late.

want to quit work and just do nothing really cant see the point.

i have let EVERYONE down

Snowball · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:11 AM

Oh hun, none of this is your fault

It's very common to blame yourself, I did when I lost my babies. I thought I'd drank too much whilst ttc and it was causing me to miscarry. It's completely normal to feel that way.

I'm so sorry and I hope you are wrong but if you are miscarring we are all here for you and remember, you musn't blame yourself.

Thinking of you

ryder · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:13 AM

hunny I havent talked to you that much on here, but the little I have you sound like a sweet person. Im sorry this is happening to you... You know we are all here to help you through and support you if you need it... with the mc and bulimia... getting over an illness is a tough thing, but hopefully if you are ready many of us can help you on BnB.

Lauraaraa · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:16 AM

i thought the mis carrying would hurt more but was just like a period, prob coz was so small.
wasnt even as bad as my period maybe worst is still to come. i dont know

thank you everyone will try to be strog thru this i guess it is normal to blame ourselves when things go wrong ,just isnt my time i guess.

i tried to get a earlier scan last week but nurse said 'no chance' so this weekend is the worst ever.

ethan amelia · Aug 8th, 2009, 10:16 AM

ohh hun. You cannot blame yourself. Im so sorry to hear what you are going through hun.

Sending you my thoughts and prayers xx

Aug 8th, 2009, 09:59 AM	#1
Lauraaraa Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: North East Posts: 2,954	I am mis-carrying - dont want to live anymore Hello i am mis carrying i am sure started bleeding on tuesday night, went to hospital they kept me in, sent me home next day as cervix was closed and wasnt bleeding loads, had a clot aswell so went home on wedneday started bleeding loads more with clots to. felt them coming out was horrible. then thursday still bleeding and friday, along with period like pains and still today. feel horrible. cant be bothered with anything, so tired and look a mess but i dont deserve to look nice, put weight on coz eaing to make me feel better, not being sick now though being sick is what did this, i hate bulimia, its killed my baby which didnt even have a chance in life. it IS my fault. i really dont want to be me anymore dont want to be here want to start my life over again. this is me being punished for all the times i have hurt others in the past. thanks for all your help over the past few months

Status: Offline

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:02 AM	#2
FitzBaby Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: USA Posts: 973	This is not your fault! Theses things just happen sometimes. Hang in there and call a good friend to sit with you or your doc, tell them how you are feeling. Please! Thinking and praying for you.

Status: Offline

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:02 AM	#3
RaeEW89 Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1,500	Hunny, did dr say you were have a m/c? And you really cant be hard on urself. Im not saying that bulimia is ok, but lots of women are sick for so much of their pregnancy and the baby is ok. I can barely keep anything down and bean is ok right now. Im sorry this is going so hard for you, if you need someone to talk to just pm me. I hope everythign gets better for you hun!

Status: Offline

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:03 AM	#4
Lauraaraa Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: North East Posts: 2,954	not confirmed it yet, but i know i have tests are getting fainter already. crying as i type now. going for scan on monday. so will be confirmed then happy i have a scan on baby at 6 weeks though its something i just think my hormones were and are screwed

Status: Offline

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:09 AM	#5
Laughing Girl Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: North London Posts: 1,166	Laura honey, I am so sorry that this is happening. You are such a lovely person. Please please please go and speak to someone about your bulimia - it doesn't have to rule your life and you deserve so much more than feeling awful about yourself constantly. I know what its like - I've been there myself. x x x

Status: Offline

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:11 AM	#6
Lauraaraa Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: North East Posts: 2,954	i will get help, need t get over this first. OH said we can try again i really cant dont want to be pregnant again to go thru this i will not be able to handle it really wanted this baby we both did i was just to selfish to give up bulimia for it and now its to late. want to quit work and just do nothing really cant see the point. i have let EVERYONE down

Status: Offline

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:11 AM	#7
Snowball Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,215	Oh hun, none of this is your fault It's very common to blame yourself, I did when I lost my babies. I thought I'd drank too much whilst ttc and it was causing me to miscarry. It's completely normal to feel that way. I'm so sorry and I hope you are wrong but if you are miscarring we are all here for you and remember, you musn't blame yourself. Thinking of you

Status: Online

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:13 AM	#8
ryder Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Belleville, Ontario Posts: 25,719	hunny I havent talked to you that much on here, but the little I have you sound like a sweet person. Im sorry this is happening to you... You know we are all here to help you through and support you if you need it... with the mc and bulimia... getting over an illness is a tough thing, but hopefully if you are ready many of us can help you on BnB.

Status: Offline

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:16 AM	#9
Lauraaraa Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: North East Posts: 2,954	i thought the mis carrying would hurt more but was just like a period, prob coz was so small. wasnt even as bad as my period maybe worst is still to come. i dont know thank you everyone will try to be strog thru this i guess it is normal to blame ourselves when things go wrong ,just isnt my time i guess. i tried to get a earlier scan last week but nurse said 'no chance' so this weekend is the worst ever.

Status: Offline

Aug 8th, 2009, 10:16 AM	#10
ethan amelia Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: East Riding of Yorkshire Posts: 625	ohh hun. You cannot blame yourself. Im so sorry to hear what you are going through hun. Sending you my thoughts and prayers xx

Status: Offline

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