Over sensitive - I know! - Page 2

Orange lady · Jun 29th, 2009, 09:06 AM

This friend is a man. I've known him for about 10 years. I told him that it was 100% planned (as was our fist m/c Dec). But he keeps saying one of theirs was an accident and it's ok because it doesn't mean you don't want it.
I give up!!!!

SummerStars · Jun 29th, 2009, 09:20 AM

He doesn't seem to understand how you feel, to him it's not offensive. His heart seems to be in the right place though.

ellie · Jun 29th, 2009, 09:53 AM

Strange! Some people just don't think.
I have to say that Every Single Person that we've told, outside both our families, without exception! has asked "was it planned" or some variation of that. I thought it might be because I'm in the middle of a training course and will have to take time out from it, but it seems that people always always say something dopey because they can't think to just say 'oh congratulations' or ask about due dates etc like us normal people!
I don't think its anyone's business whether any baby was planned or not unless you choose to tell them! I've mostly just smiled and avoided the question or said 'yes' and changed the subject. Not brave enough to come up with a stroppy response yet!
I'm told we have to be prepared for a lot of stupid comments .... oh and people trying to touch bump (its only happened once so far and I reflexively hit their hand away - oops!)
Time to develop thick skin ...

mrskx0x0 · Jun 30th, 2009, 09:22 AM

GRRRRR!!! That is so freaking rude. Someone asked me if I was pg the other week and I kind of paused because I didn't want to lie outright but I also didn't want to tell her before my family and she looked at me and said "you don't know do you?". Felt like slapping her and telling her that if I was pg it certainly wasn't by accident.

Haha you should ask your friend if her children were an accident? That would make her pause for thought!

DizzyMoo · Jun 30th, 2009, 09:26 AM

Maybe in a stupid way she was trying to ask was it planned but got it arse about tit a pure case of " not engaging brain before operating mouth " SIGH ..

Some people don't think that what they say is offensive, hurtful or down right rude.
But then when you say something back they think you're biting their heads off, Us pregnant ladies just can't win .

jlon · Jun 30th, 2009, 09:55 AM

Hmmm I'm the complete opposite!

I always, for some reason, always point out that it was an accident!

- Congrats!!
- Oh thanks, I'm still freaked out, it was a complete accident!

I should stop doing this as people give me strange looks! Even though the timing is kinda perfect, I would've liked to have been married first, which I'm not, but I don't know why I keep justifying it to people I barely know!!

redpoppy · Jun 30th, 2009, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jlon

Hmmm I'm the complete opposite!

I always, for some reason, always point out that it was an accident!

- Congrats!!
- Oh thanks, I'm still freaked out, it was a complete accident!

I should stop doing this as people give me strange looks! Even though the timing is kinda perfect, I would've liked to have been married first, which I'm not, but I don't know why I keep justifying it to people I barely know!!

haha! awesome!

I've told everyone now and was asked about four times "was it planned?" I find it funny though. No need to get upset. although with me I understand it as I used to NEVER EVER EVER want kids before a few years ago.

Also people get curious/nosey. Of course your reaction (whether elated or not) is going to be different if it wasn't planned. POP!!! out from nowhere you'r expecting a baby is different from trying.

People say stupid things at births and deaths. It's part of human nature. And at least this is a birth and a time to be joyous!

ReddKatt · Jul 4th, 2009, 18:51 PM

You aren't overly sensitive. ITS RUDE AS HELL to say that to someone.
Not their business.
Its rude.
Its common.
What the heck? An accident is when two trains collide and people are killed. Not when a baby is conceived!

Yes I have had people ask that ( try being 43, one child, and married 19 years!) and I want to punch people in the gut.

Hormonal anyone?? lol
(I really am nicer than this post sounds, but man does that response irritate the hell out of me! Obviously. :smile:

Kathie

Perdita · Jul 4th, 2009, 19:21 PM

oh dear, mine was unplanned and shocking - having spent two years coming to terms with the fact that after ten years of trying and then husband leaving I wouldn't have children too much champagne on my birthday, fun night with semi-casual partner (who is now very much ex and won't even aknowledge the child) and the second blue line appears and there's a heartbeat on the scan! I've had a range of responses but to be honest everyone else seems a lot more excited than me!

kaybel · Jul 5th, 2009, 05:57 AM

How insensitive of them! And to be honest you have every right to be annoyed! Try not to worry to much though because in the end it doesnt matter what they think and youll have a gorgeous baby

Jun 29th, 2009, 09:06 AM	#11
Orange lady Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 634	This friend is a man. I've known him for about 10 years. I told him that it was 100% planned (as was our fist m/c Dec). But he keeps saying one of theirs was an accident and it's ok because it doesn't mean you don't want it. I give up!!!!

Status: Offline

Jun 29th, 2009, 09:20 AM	#12
SummerStars Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 526	He doesn't seem to understand how you feel, to him it's not offensive. His heart seems to be in the right place though.

Status: Offline

Jun 29th, 2009, 09:53 AM	#13
ellie Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: south wales Posts: 3,818	Strange! Some people just don't think. I have to say that Every Single Person that we've told, outside both our families, without exception! has asked "was it planned" or some variation of that. I thought it might be because I'm in the middle of a training course and will have to take time out from it, but it seems that people always always say something dopey because they can't think to just say 'oh congratulations' or ask about due dates etc like us normal people! I don't think its anyone's business whether any baby was planned or not unless you choose to tell them! I've mostly just smiled and avoided the question or said 'yes' and changed the subject. Not brave enough to come up with a stroppy response yet! I'm told we have to be prepared for a lot of stupid comments .... oh and people trying to touch bump (its only happened once so far and I reflexively hit their hand away - oops!) Time to develop thick skin ...

Status: Offline

Jun 30th, 2009, 09:22 AM	#14
mrskx0x0 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1,311	GRRRRR!!! That is so freaking rude. Someone asked me if I was pg the other week and I kind of paused because I didn't want to lie outright but I also didn't want to tell her before my family and she looked at me and said "you don't know do you?". Felt like slapping her and telling her that if I was pg it certainly wasn't by accident. Haha you should ask your friend if her children were an accident? That would make her pause for thought!

Status: Offline

Jun 30th, 2009, 09:26 AM	#15
DizzyMoo Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 5,902	Maybe in a stupid way she was trying to ask was it planned but got it arse about tit a pure case of " not engaging brain before operating mouth " SIGH .. Some people don't think that what they say is offensive, hurtful or down right rude. But then when you say something back they think you're biting their heads off, Us pregnant ladies just can't win .

Status: Offline

Jun 30th, 2009, 09:55 AM	#16
jlon Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 670	Hmmm I'm the complete opposite! I always, for some reason, always point out that it was an accident! - Congrats!! - Oh thanks, I'm still freaked out, it was a complete accident! I should stop doing this as people give me strange looks! Even though the timing is kinda perfect, I would've liked to have been married first, which I'm not, but I don't know why I keep justifying it to people I barely know!!

Status: Offline

Jul 4th, 2009, 18:51 PM	#18
ReddKatt Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 10	You aren't overly sensitive. ITS RUDE AS HELL to say that to someone. Not their business. Its rude. Its common. What the heck? An accident is when two trains collide and people are killed. Not when a baby is conceived! Yes I have had people ask that ( try being 43, one child, and married 19 years!) and I want to punch people in the gut. Hormonal anyone?? lol (I really am nicer than this post sounds, but man does that response irritate the hell out of me! Obviously. :smile: Kathie

Status: Offline

Jul 4th, 2009, 19:21 PM	#19
Perdita Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Fife, Scotland Posts: 577	oh dear, mine was unplanned and shocking - having spent two years coming to terms with the fact that after ten years of trying and then husband leaving I wouldn't have children too much champagne on my birthday, fun night with semi-casual partner (who is now very much ex and won't even aknowledge the child) and the second blue line appears and there's a heartbeat on the scan! I've had a range of responses but to be honest everyone else seems a lot more excited than me!

Status: Offline

Jul 5th, 2009, 05:57 AM	#20
kaybel Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: London Posts: 35	How insensitive of them! And to be honest you have every right to be annoyed! Try not to worry to much though because in the end it doesnt matter what they think and youll have a gorgeous baby

Status: Offline

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