Well yeah in a general wellbeing kind of a way not to literally run around pandering to our whims just because we're knocked up!

When we get to 3rd tri and cannot do a great deal easily for ourselves I think its a bit different.

I suppose this is a valid point, but I always think, if my OH was feeling shitty I'd do these sorts of things for him. It's a level of trust and intimacy involved in asking anyone for anything, friends, family, partners. Pretty much anyone really.

But yeah, I suppose being too demanding is just not right. Although I did get my OH to empty out all the food containers in the fridge as I knew I wouldn't be eating them and then throw the bin bag away. I think my nausea would have tipped over to sickness if I'd done that myself.

I guess I'm lucky enough to have not had any symptoms to require my OH to have to do anything for me.

I've had 1 evening where I was shattered so he cooked the tea without questioning it, but I would never demand that he fetch me something I could fetch myself.

Meh, swings and roundabouts though though isnt it, every relationship is different - I'm just saving the demands until I really need them! lol.

Haha! yeah... good strategy, but i'm hoping once the first trimester is over these symptoms will pass and then I can be all self reliant again.

I'm thankfully quite active but food related stuff is very difficult for me. Just become so in the last five days or so. I think I will not be accepting any offers to dinner/lunch for a while.

x

My issue was the fact that I babysit an 8 month old, whom I don't have a car seat for, and who cries if he's left with anyone but me...so I kind of couldn't go to the store for myself. My husband was like "go when the baby goes home"....ok...because when you are really hungry for something you want to wait 6 hours for it when it would take my hubby all of 10 minutes to get to the store and back.

I can understand not being over demanding but if the person you love asks for something very simple...I think it's rude to get mad about it...especially when you have no qualms about asking for the same thing for yourself sometimes.

I guess everyone is different!

i completely get you. I thought my b/f would be perfect, go out of his way for me and totally understand the mood swings. I noticed straight away, there would be no going out of his way and i would be doing everything on my own and then the hormones (plus i believe i have pre natal depression0 and he has moved out doesnt even hardly ever speak to me or text me. He does come round every now and again for sex then just goes away again. A total let down

Was he like this before? Or just started acting this way since you got pg? I'm just wondering if it's possible he has any fears/doubts about becoming a father/having a child, that's making him act up? Sometimes men don't always express what they're feeling, and it comes out in all kinds of ways. Sorry you're going through this. MY DH has a made a few insensitive comments but he generally tends not to be very tactful - and he did have some fears that caused him to feel overwhelmed too. Have you talked to your DH about how you feel?

Hmmmm I know this sounds weird but i sometimes think people who are in love (like a couple) tend to forget that it actually means something, its a fragile and beautiful thing if you allow it to be, its the stuff art, poetry and literature is filled with and for good reason.

In a practical world where logic and reason rule, romantic love is an indulgence i think its good to fall into. Maybe he just needs reminding of that? I mean you could go all logical and sterile about your relationship and say "well its a two way thing about respect and self sufficiency" and to a large degree that's true, but if you actually fall in love with someone like fall in love all heady and emotional, it's truly irrational and almost unreal/mystical experience that you tend to have with an almost stranger leading to intimacy beyond reason many times.

And in that falling in love, if things don't get bitter or resentful, people can still forget that there's something special there.

It's unfair to have high expectations, but then in a way its unfair to the relationship to have low ones too.

Noone's perfect but compatibility and a long term relationship hint that there's something more there than just convenience. I would expect in the situation you describe that i would go out of my way to help the one I loved in a situation UNLESS i had a GOOD reason not to OR unless there was a weird strange conflict things where they way things were said or expected lead me to act strangely.

Communication's the best thing and talking to your OH is probably the best thing. But remember to avoid the blame thing as should he.


x

That was really deep....I like it. I think instead of being all bitchy and cold about it...I'll turn the other cheek, let it go, and move on without making a big deal out of it. Maybe he was just having a bad day. Thanks for the help ladies.