Hi Hun,
Hope you don't mind me saying this but he probably lied because he knew you'd flip if you knew he was lookin at porn. I think; and have found from experience with my hubby that in the early days when he didn't tell me he was looking at porn it was cos he thought it was something dirty and he didn't want it around me. I think alot of men are the same, they feel guilty about about 'DIY'.

The best advice on these replies is to talk to him, part of being together is understanding what makes each other tick sometimes we won't always like what we find out - porn might not be your thing but men are generally much more visually sexual where women have an imagination. Sometimes we won't be able to make our peace and move on together but I don't think this is something that you'll end up splitting over aqs you clearly love him loads.

It's also really hard to step back and work out when were being emotional - I've had to learn the hard way over the years when I'm at fault of flipping I bet if you 2 start talking openly and honestly about it you'll be closer than ever and probably have a better sex life for it!

Plus as for you being attractive I bet thats a huge understatement to your man he prob thinks you the hottest bird ever & thats why he's with you - and he'll only find you more beautiful and love you more as the next few months progress!!!
Good luck xx

Most men watch porn at some point, a lot of women do to, OH and I both download from the internet for free, but both on occasion watch it, it's no big deal, doesn't mean we love each other any less and just allows us to engage in some way in our current fantasy at the moment we want to, we don't tend to watch it together and it tends to be when the other half is out.

Maybe you should try looking for some you like and being a little understanding with him, It's not even as though you were there to have fun with him. he just got a but horny, you were away, he wanted some help, hey presto, the lying is different, but I suspect he was worried about this response so didn't tell you.

Hmmm. OH and I used to watch porn together all the time, we haven't for a while but not because either of us has stopped liking it, just because we haven't.. as for him watching it now I'm pregnant, TBH, it doesn't bother me, he knows full well he won't be getting any action from me until at least 12wks! thats a whole 7wks away for the poor guy... he's a healthy male with a high sex drive, I'd much rather him watch a bit of cheesy porn and knock one out in private then be down at the local pub drinking pints and chatting to a random other women and have it go thru his mine 'gee, I haven't had sex for awhile....'

I know if it was the other way around and HE couldn't have sex for 12wks then he'd have no issues with me having some 'me time'.

x

Ive been down that road with my oh i tired to stop him from looking at it because of how it made me feel, but he just found other ways of doing it behide my back and lying to me about it (this went on for around 3 yrs) it got to the point where i wouldnt get undressed around or have sex because i felt it would of been thinking about them and not me (yes i know silly) then i started working for ann summers and for some reason not sure why my out look on it change and the way i think about it now is that it is only pics/flim they are not real and it can be very fun to look at (tbh i now like lookin at it sometimes) and its me he is with, so now it doesnt really upset/hurt me the thing that does drives me mad is he wont tell so i will go on th pc and he has left it open and there it is, so i ask he about it and he will make up this bulls**t story. That is the one reason why i get mad with him is because he had lied to me about it.
He shouldnt done that well you was in the hosptal but as as someone has said men do that do relieve stress. More than likely he lied because he knew it would of upset /hurt you and he didnt want to do that to you.
It could help if have a sit down talk tell him how it made you feel and if he still wants to look at this sort stuff try and find something that you both feel happy about
I personly dont think it will help tellin him no you cant look at it because
a, you wouldnt really like being told what you can and cant do
b, more than likely he would only find some other way of doing and hiding it from you
(like my oh did)
i hope that helps you feel better if you need to talk let me know

I personally have no issue with my OH watching porn, as i do it myself and also together. When you get to the issue of paying for it, ie on the mobiles etc i feel that is daft when you can get it for nothing on the internet! I guess i can kind of understand why you would be angry with regards to you being hospital. But again personally i don't have an issue with it and know that my OH would of probably done it last time around when i was in hospital.

Obviously every couple/woman/men are different and especially woman who are extremely hormonal at this stage in pregnancy (just ask OH, as i have flew off handle at daft stupid things) So do you think you would of reacted to this this way if you weren't pregnant? And maybe your OH lied to you because he knew you would react in the way you did?

My OH made a valid comment as he happened to be reading this thread. He said that a guy watches porn to simply 'get off and (in some situations) relieve stress' and when its all 'done' its turned off and that's the end of that, he has no intention of going to find these woman and marry them! and i tend to agree, it is mostly harmless and it in no way makes me feel insecure, but like i said that is just my opinion. I look at it this way, it could be worse, they could be chatting to real live woman in chat room, camming with them and god knows what else! now that would be grounds for divorce!!!

We have decided to refrain from sex ourselves until our next scan in 4 weeks time. I have been getting some light brownish/pinkish bleeding after sex also so to be safe not going to have any until then. So i am aware that he will be viewing porn and again i don't have an issue with this.

Fine.

Wow. I think that was a bit unnecessary. The OP was only asking for a bit of advice. Feelings and emotions are all over the place just now and we dont all deal with things the same.

I wonder about B & B just now! there are some very harsh posters. If I dont like a thread, or section (there are a few on here I have to avoid as I have strong opinions on them that may offend others) I just leave them. I understand a forum is for opinions etc but theres a fine line between stating your beliefs and making someone feel like crap.

I personally don't think that there is anything wrong with looking at porn (for men OR women). Having said that, if my dh were using his phone for this, then i would also flip, and also if he lied to my face. I know my dh watches porn on his computer, i've seen it! I would also modestly say that i am attractive, and I know that my dh adores me, but i think it is natural thing for men and women to do. Maybe your oh was embarrassed? After all, you'd caught him out. That doesn't excuse his lying to you, have you spoke calmly to him about it? I think the fact that you were in hospital while he was doing it wasn't appropriate of him at all, so you are right to be mad. But in a general day to day sense, i don't see the harm in a little porn, it's a multi million pound industry, so there is obviously a market for it! Hope you get it sorted out.

its not the porn that would bother me tbh - it would be the fact that he felt the need to lie about it