I know there have been a few threads recently about who to tell before 12 weeks and how, but wanted to add my two pennorth ...

we've known since 4 weeks (of course!) but after a previous loss been very anxious about telling anyone too soon ... we decided we'd wait to tell family until after early scan (last week), then the 'rest of the world' after 12 weeks ... however, after seeing the little wiggler and heartbeat last week, I think OH got excited, and has been telling practically everyone! I've only told my parents and brother and 2 or 3 close friends, I was trying to work it out (sad huh) but I reckon he's now told about 25 or so people, planning to tell several more over the next week includign people he works with, and I am really not sure I feel comfortable with so many people knowing at this stage. I guess I'm still paranoid that something will go wrong between now and 2nd tri and then all those people will know and we'll have to 'un-tell' them all. I can't stop him from telling people and I don't want to seem paranoid, but (following my last thread) I'm still not really sure I believe that we will have a baby!

Who's felt happy to tell people at this stage, and who's felt like they want to keep it to themselves or to a very small circle? And am I over-analysing the whole thing

I totally understand where your coming from. I would have been really upset if my OH had gone and told the world before I was ready.

I also had an early scan at 8 weeks which is when I told my close family. Then I waited until I had my 12 weeks scan to tell the everyone else. My OH completely understood as he knows the first 12 weeks are the most likely time something could go wrong. I also don't think he totally believed it until he saw the little one wriggeling about.

Just speak with you OH and explain how you feel. Tell him you would rather he stopped telling people for a while. Your deffinately not being paranoid. I think us girls all feel the same.

We had a mc in march last year so when we found out this time at 4 weeks we couldn't decide what to do..... in the end we decided that we wanted to share our good news regardless.

Good luck to you honey x

thanks cat. i might have a word with him ... he wants to start preparing himself though (and preparing other people!) for being a dad, and he tends to share very personal things with people, whereas i'm very private. it's quite difficult to find a balance, as he just thinks I'm being paranoid or thinking too negatively if i suggest we ought to keep quiet. we didn't tell anyone last time and then he felt he needed to tell people that we'd had a miscarriage as he needed lots of support from others, he finds it really hard to deal with anything by himself.

sigh .... i just hope i'm not worrying unnecessarily! i keep telling myself that after seeing the heartbeat and everything going well the risks are now pretty small.

I also had to stop his and my parents telling all their friends and neighbours! Gaaahhh.....

thanks ninab, that's his thinking i suppose, that he needed support when we lost the last one and he'll need support now no matter what happens! I just feel uncomfortable about so many people knowing (and most of them I hardly see) so soon. Maybe it's just because I tend to deal with things myself and am very private, what do others think ? If you're 'outgoing' do you tend to want to share it earlier? Hmmm....

I don't think you're being overly paranoid, I have no prior pregnancies to go on but I still don't wanna tell anyone till 12 weeks, just to make sure.

It feels horrible not telling people, like you're lying to them but....

My SIL told both sets of parents and siblings at 5 weeks but we were sworn to secrecy until 12 weeks.

I guess your hubby is just excited and you have had a scan which makes it a bit more real I guess, but if you're not happy with it then you should talk to him (although you can't take it back now I suppose...)

I told EVERYONE as soon as I knew. My family members, my friends, and sometimes even strangers. I know that it is hard to be completely positive about things when you had a bad fall out with your previous pregnancy and you not telling anyone is a personal preference. Your hubby is going to have to respect that and if he is going around telling everyone he comes in contact with I think you should bring it up and ask him to stop. It apparently makes you really uncomfortable and this isn't about your man, it is about YOU AND HIM. Maybe after a nice talk he would stop spreading the word so much and wait until you are ready to start telling people.

Best of luck hun! I am sure it will all work out.

thanks guys. i hadn't really realised until today that it was starting to make me feel jumpy, seems like every time he comes home from work he says that he's told someone else and theyre really pleased etc etc! it's lovely, and it's great that he's excited about being a dad, i'm just still scared.
he's also been pressuring me to tell more people (like a friend who lives away who i ended up ringing last night to tell her, although i wasn't sure i wanted to because she wanted kids but never had any and i'm not sure she has come to terms with that, she said she was pleased but i felt a bit guilty afterwards ... I know I always felt hurt and sad when other people announced their pregnancies)

keep everything crossed that all just goes to plan and i don't have to worry! in 3 - 4 weeks time i'm sure it won't matter!

Does it sound stupid that i will feel somehow embarrassed if anything did go wrong with all these people knowing? like it would be my fault ?

I'm going to leave it too tell most people, i'm of the same opinion that something could go wrong so don't want the world to know. Both sets of parents know, as do one close of friend of mine who I go gym with so couldnt really not tell her. And I literlly just told my boss, didnt want to but he was trying to send me out on a boat and you can't wear fall arrest equipment when your pregnant.

It's one of those things where it's each to their own I guess.

My OH wants to wait until after 12 weeks to tell anyone, the only people who know are two close friends, and it's only because they figured it out. I haven't even told my parents or family, we're lucky they live 3 hours away, planning on telling my parents on mother's day, which will be special for my mom, as I will be the first daughter to have a baby in my family. tears will flow that day i'm sure..