So I've finally had it with my OH. I'm packing up tonight and getting a bus home to live with my parents. I'm just wondering about the rights of the dad? I'm concerned because if I leave, I'm scared his mom is going to try to get him full custody of the baby. I don't mind him seeing the baby, but I'm not having one of these things where the baby spends half the year with me and half of it with him either. That old woman is NOT taking my child from me. She didn't care enough up to this point to even ask me how I'm feeling, and therefore should not care enough that she would want to stick her nose in it. He wanted me to get an abortion and in my mind, that relieves him of all his rights. If he doesn't sign the birth certificate, can he have any rights at all? I know if I make him sign them over then he doesn't have to pay child support so I'm not sure what I want to do about that because I'm going to need some help for the next few years.

Sorry rae, not originally from Canada, so I'm not sure how it all works here.

There's no way they will be able to take your baby from you, unless you were a maniac or unsafe for the baby to be living with, and for that he would need cold, hard, solid PROOF. I was in your situation a couple of months ago. Do YOU want him to have part in the babys life?
I decided that I didn't want my OH in my baby's life, therefore I'm not putting his name on the birth certificate. I suggest you do that if you don't want him to have rights, and he would have to demand a paternity test, which, mind you, costs ALOT of money. After all this is done then he would get his 'visitation rights', unless you put his name on the birth certificate to begin with.
I'm not sure about details but I know fathers are allowed visitation like once a week or something, there's nothing they can do to get your child more often, because the government authorities KNOW that a baby needs to be with his/her mother. They don't take children from mothers unless the baby is potentially in danger. But you're right if he doesn't want visitation he doesn't need to pay child support - it's really a difficult situation.
for you, sorry I'm not much help I'm 15 years old, don't know much about the law and rights.

Ok, here's a quick lowdown.

I do know that judges in Canada are now giving equal rights to the dad. Unless the mother is a total drug addict, they don't normally give sole custody to anyone anymore. As much as I had contacted many, many lawyers who said that I would probably gain sole custody of my daughter, it didn't happen that way.

Ok, here it is. I was 8 months pregnant with my son when I left my OH. I took my 17 month old daughter with me.

He gained emergency custody of my daughter saying that I was a flight risk as my mom lived in Alberta. He gained it for a week until we did go to court for custody. We got joint custody.

Now, in terms of the unborn child, the lawyer who directed him on what to do with my daughter, told him when the child is born he can go for custody after the baby is born. The sad thing is, your OH, if he goes for custody, can make you move back to the area nearer him.

Now, if they don't have money to pursue it, then they may not go for custody. But if they do, I am telling you, you may look bad as you took the rights of that baby away from the dad.

Do call lawyers for advice and a number of them, but whatever they say don't take it at face value as their advice didn't come through for me.

OH and I got back together after 5 months of separation. It did us a world of good and we are going on our 10 year anniversary on Thursday. I had to make it work as I didn't have kids to be a part-time mom.

Sorry that was abrupt. I was trying to write it as fast as I could as I had to go and get my daughter from school.

I truly hope everything works out.

One thing, right now you are in your first trimester and you have a number of months before having the baby. I would gain a lot of legal advice during those months prior to your baby's birth. Document all you can about conversations you've had with your OH and his family from now on.

Sorry, honey, not entirely true anymore, at least in my situation. I took care of my daughter 24/7 and I thought there was no way my OH could gain custody. He gained joint custody. He said that his mom was home and could take care of my daughter while he was at work. You'd think that there would be no way they would think a grandmother would be a better caregiver than the mom who took care of the child since she was born, 24/7. But the judge in my case was just happy that someone was there to take care of my daughter.

They do in fact take children away from their mothers and they can, even if it's joint custody.

Blahhh what a legal mess. I guess I'm going to have to try to get him to sign over his rights.

I am sorry honey.

What do you plan on doing after your child is born? Will you be getting a job? Or will you try for social assistance?

If social assistance, I will tell you another thing. If you have the name of the baby's dad on the certificate, they will go after him for child support. What the government wants is that child support to be paid so that they can deduct it off of the amount that they will be paying to you. They will get family maintenance involved too.

Just thought I'd tell you what happens in that situation as well.

Well, our government put a new program in with the budget a few days ago that gives new parents 1000 dollars plus 100 dollars a month for the first 12 months. Now, I know exactly how much money that ISN'T, I've been paying my own bills for 3 years now. But it will help because I won't have to pay rent or bills if I move home with my parents, just pay for my groceries. It will pay for diapers, I plan on breast feeding so that will cut down on formula costs of it works out for me. And I'm just going to stay home until I see a good job opportunity. If that's 2 months or 8 months, whatever shows up I'm going to take. I don't want to be sponging off my parents forever .I'm also going to be finishing my last 2 courses distance in January which will be able to get me into policy making with the government So watch out if I get a job with the federal government, because you're going to feel the influencing of my policy making skills haha

I don't know if this applies in Canada but lawyers here (U.S.) have to do a certain number of hours/clients pro bono (free). If it turns out you need one maybe that's something you can look into?