MIL'S and your pregnancy. Excited or? - Page 5

Petite · Mar 6th, 2010, 12:56 PM

MIL shows little interest as does my own mother!!

kmac625 · Mar 6th, 2010, 18:34 PM

My mil is super-excited about baby coming, especially as it's her first proper grandchild (dh's brother has a stepson). She lives several hours away and we only usually see her a couple times a year (she never visits us because our place is small so we have to go there to see her). I talk to her every couple of weeks on the phone and she's good for asking how I'm doing and how baby is doing, she's asked about my scans and mw appointments too. However, she is also very bossy and pushy. Before we found out we were having a girl she told me we couldn't name the baby Jaden if it was a boy...how is naming our baby HER decision?!? She also told me she wants to be there for the delivery and I said not in the room with me and she got really quiet at that. I can't believe she thought she could be in the room during labour, let alone without asking first lol. Anyhow, on the whole she's a good mil but I'm glad she lives several hours away so I won't have to worry about her just randomly showing up at our place after baby is born telling me how to do (or not to do) things as I know she would like to.

sallyanne · Mar 8th, 2010, 10:56 AM

My MIL I think is excited but this will be her 5th grandchild. With my mum and dad this is there 1st grandchild. My husband as been married before and he has got 2 kids with his ex. And my MIL loves to keep telling me how she got up in the night to look after the kids when they was crying and how she did everything. It does my head in as I want me and my husband to share feeds and bonding with lo when she arrives. My MIL does not like my mum at all so when my mum buys me baby clothes MIL is not intrasted at all in what I have got. All I get from MIL is that it is to early to buy baby clothes and her 2 childern where born 3 weeks late. Grrr.

I have told my husband that he needs to tell my MIL that she must phone before she comes up once baby is born. Becuase at the moment she just turns up and he says she has always done this even when he was married before. I just said things are going to change.

BabyL0Ve · Mar 8th, 2010, 14:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by better2gether

To put it NICELY, I'm not a fan. Thank the HEAVENS she lives in another state. Although I do have to hear about her whenever my boyfriend talks to mommy dearest on the phone. Geez. Am I bitter much?!

I had a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. Her response was to "use better birth control." No "sorry for your loss" or anything REMOTELY sensitive. That put a bitter taste in my mouth. I have vowed to not allow her to contact me at all. And really, the only way she can contact me is on facebook. We have never talked on the phone or even met in person. I know that day will come soon though. I'm dreading it.

But in all fairness, I decided to unblock her over the holidays and bam! What do you know? A message from her wishing me a Merry Christmas. So I replied back and wished her the same. Haven't heard from her since. Maybe it is for the best.

She has done some shady things behind my back. Like forwarding letters from my boyfriend's ex to him. Mostly while I was in hospital, recovering from my miscarriage. She thought it was better to not tell me and stress me out. MY ASS! The woman loves drama. How can I not think she hates me?! She does that to me while I'm losing a baby?! It tore me up. I cried so hard and probably just made things worse on myself than they already were...

She has called me immature and told me to grow up. A 47-year-old woman is telling a 22-year-old woman that. It still makes me laugh! All because I blocked her on facebook. I'll tell you what though, I tried to ask her to stop with the hurtful comments about my miscarriage. She was on a rampage, telling me to basically use a condom when I sex up her son. lol. So I blocked her. She wouldn't leave me alone. I was in a fragile place and she was pushing me over the edge. Now I will never open up to her again. No point. Can't say I didn't try though!

As for this pregnancy, she hasn't asked me how I am or bought the baby anything. The exact opposite of my mom. The baby is ALL my mom talks about! She is making the baby stuff, buying baby stuff, feeling my belly constantly, etc. I am so glad my mom is here. She makes me feel so good. I don't care if his mom is being a cow. It sucks for my daughter, but it is what it is. Maybe she'll come around? If not, she definitely has one grandma that is going to spoil the hell outta her and that is better than none.

I hardly ever hear good stories about MILs on this site. I think a majority are jealous and/or can't let their "baby boys" grow up. I guess I can't really imagine as I'm not in her shoes... But my boyfriend is twenty-four, or as I like to call him, a grown ass man. I am 28 weeks preggo and this baby IS coming in May whether she approves, likes it or not, accepts it or not. It is a part of life and I wish she would cut the apron strings already!!!

Wow she is EVIL

Newt4 · Mar 13th, 2010, 00:11 AM

My mil is horrible. She never attempted to get to know me (husband and I have been married for 8 yrs). Before we got married she told my husband she didnt approve or support the wedding. From the 8 years Ive developed a thick skin to her and her rude comments.
So my husband told them in person (they were helping us move) and she started crying (happy cry) which I found nice. We discussed how I was feeling and stuff I told her what makes me feel sick. Next morning she made breakfast and low and behold there was ham which I specifically told her the smell of it makes me wanna die. Then after proceeded to tell my husband how he should of married the girl that she chose right when I was at the table. Anyways after the move she phoned me (first time ever) and was trying to talk small talk.
I think shes trying now but its a little to late for a relationship with her. 8 years of her abuse and the fact that my husband doesnt stick up for me in front of her. We are going to have a hard first year with her and us.

Dbaby129 · Mar 15th, 2010, 13:54 PM

My mil could care less. My child will make her 11th grandkid and she could honestly care less about me or the baby..

NurseKel · Mar 15th, 2010, 22:27 PM

So glad to hear there are so many of you in my shoes. My MIL has never taken an interest in me at all so why should this be any different? It is like pulling teeth to get her to have a conversation and she has the personality of a limp dishrag. My DH has a son and he has been the only grandchild for 4 yrs. Now not only am I preggo but my SIL is pregnant with her first. So, as if it wasn't bad enough being tuned out for the only beloved grandchild, now the attention is all on the SIL. Honestly though, I am quite okay with that. I have the absolute best parents in the world who have been the most wonderful nana and pawpaw to my daughter. They are so ecstatic about this baby and can not wait for his/her arrival. So, I say to heck with the MIL. She lives 2.5 hrs away and really is irrelevant to me as far as I'm concerned.

Sarahkka · Mar 15th, 2010, 23:42 PM

My MIL is absolutely lovely and very excited for this new baby.

karenmack · Mar 16th, 2010, 04:37 AM

My MIL is not interested at all! My hubby has another child with someone and they weren't exactly in a relationship so think she does not want the focus to be taken of him so if ever you try and talk about the baby or DS the conversation generally turns quite quickly!!!! She has not offered to buy anything for the baby even though she knows financally we are not at our best but will quite happily through money at my hubby to go and collect his son as he lives at least a 8 hour round trip away! I have lost count of the amount of times she has said rude or hurtful comments and to be honest I can't bloody stand her! This will be my husbands third boy and on the day we found out he is a boy she turned round to my hubby and said ' if Karen makes you try for a girl have you thought about how that will affect u money wise' how bloody insensitive we are over the moon he is a boy and didn't need negative comments like that!

missamoo · Mar 16th, 2010, 06:22 AM

my mil was interested in my first 2 but when we knew ds was a boy she said 'that's good, one of each, you don't need to have anymore!' when we told her we were expecting again she was quite disappointed, said i can't look after the ones i've got, they run rings around me (which they don't!) but what can you do when its already on its way.

we're stopping with them this week as dh is working with fil and she told me not to expect any help with the kids - beariinig in mind she's not working at the mo, has nothing else to do and i've got seriously bad morning sickness!

so i'm not in her good books.

Mar 6th, 2010, 12:56 PM	#41
Petite Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Northumberland, UK Posts: 866	MIL shows little interest as does my own mother!!

Status: Offline

Mar 6th, 2010, 18:34 PM	#42
kmac625 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Toronto, Ontario Canada Posts: 5,310	My mil is super-excited about baby coming, especially as it's her first proper grandchild (dh's brother has a stepson). She lives several hours away and we only usually see her a couple times a year (she never visits us because our place is small so we have to go there to see her). I talk to her every couple of weeks on the phone and she's good for asking how I'm doing and how baby is doing, she's asked about my scans and mw appointments too. However, she is also very bossy and pushy. Before we found out we were having a girl she told me we couldn't name the baby Jaden if it was a boy...how is naming our baby HER decision?!? She also told me she wants to be there for the delivery and I said not in the room with me and she got really quiet at that. I can't believe she thought she could be in the room during labour, let alone without asking first lol. Anyhow, on the whole she's a good mil but I'm glad she lives several hours away so I won't have to worry about her just randomly showing up at our place after baby is born telling me how to do (or not to do) things as I know she would like to.

Status: Offline

Mar 8th, 2010, 10:56 AM	#43
sallyanne Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: East Midlands Posts: 303	My MIL I think is excited but this will be her 5th grandchild. With my mum and dad this is there 1st grandchild. My husband as been married before and he has got 2 kids with his ex. And my MIL loves to keep telling me how she got up in the night to look after the kids when they was crying and how she did everything. It does my head in as I want me and my husband to share feeds and bonding with lo when she arrives. My MIL does not like my mum at all so when my mum buys me baby clothes MIL is not intrasted at all in what I have got. All I get from MIL is that it is to early to buy baby clothes and her 2 childern where born 3 weeks late. Grrr. I have told my husband that he needs to tell my MIL that she must phone before she comes up once baby is born. Becuase at the moment she just turns up and he says she has always done this even when he was married before. I just said things are going to change.

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2010, 00:11 AM	#45
Newt4 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 1,451	My mil is horrible. She never attempted to get to know me (husband and I have been married for 8 yrs). Before we got married she told my husband she didnt approve or support the wedding. From the 8 years Ive developed a thick skin to her and her rude comments. So my husband told them in person (they were helping us move) and she started crying (happy cry) which I found nice. We discussed how I was feeling and stuff I told her what makes me feel sick. Next morning she made breakfast and low and behold there was ham which I specifically told her the smell of it makes me wanna die. Then after proceeded to tell my husband how he should of married the girl that she chose right when I was at the table. Anyways after the move she phoned me (first time ever) and was trying to talk small talk. I think shes trying now but its a little to late for a relationship with her. 8 years of her abuse and the fact that my husband doesnt stick up for me in front of her. We are going to have a hard first year with her and us.

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2010, 13:54 PM	#46
Dbaby129 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Ohio..U.S.A. Posts: 307	My mil could care less. My child will make her 11th grandkid and she could honestly care less about me or the baby..

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2010, 22:27 PM	#47
NurseKel Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 1,089	So glad to hear there are so many of you in my shoes. My MIL has never taken an interest in me at all so why should this be any different? It is like pulling teeth to get her to have a conversation and she has the personality of a limp dishrag. My DH has a son and he has been the only grandchild for 4 yrs. Now not only am I preggo but my SIL is pregnant with her first. So, as if it wasn't bad enough being tuned out for the only beloved grandchild, now the attention is all on the SIL. Honestly though, I am quite okay with that. I have the absolute best parents in the world who have been the most wonderful nana and pawpaw to my daughter. They are so ecstatic about this baby and can not wait for his/her arrival. So, I say to heck with the MIL. She lives 2.5 hrs away and really is irrelevant to me as far as I'm concerned.

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2010, 23:42 PM	#48
Sarahkka Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 8,750	My MIL is absolutely lovely and very excited for this new baby.

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 04:37 AM	#49
karenmack Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Rutland, UK Posts: 433	My MIL is not interested at all! My hubby has another child with someone and they weren't exactly in a relationship so think she does not want the focus to be taken of him so if ever you try and talk about the baby or DS the conversation generally turns quite quickly!!!! She has not offered to buy anything for the baby even though she knows financally we are not at our best but will quite happily through money at my hubby to go and collect his son as he lives at least a 8 hour round trip away! I have lost count of the amount of times she has said rude or hurtful comments and to be honest I can't bloody stand her! This will be my husbands third boy and on the day we found out he is a boy she turned round to my hubby and said ' if Karen makes you try for a girl have you thought about how that will affect u money wise' how bloody insensitive we are over the moon he is a boy and didn't need negative comments like that!

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 06:22 AM	#50
missamoo Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: wrexham Posts: 395	my mil was interested in my first 2 but when we knew ds was a boy she said 'that's good, one of each, you don't need to have anymore!' when we told her we were expecting again she was quite disappointed, said i can't look after the ones i've got, they run rings around me (which they don't!) but what can you do when its already on its way. we're stopping with them this week as dh is working with fil and she told me not to expect any help with the kids - beariinig in mind she's not working at the mo, has nothing else to do and i've got seriously bad morning sickness! so i'm not in her good books.

Status: Offline

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