Kayles1/8/08

Im 18 and fell pregnant after a really drunken night to a guy who was not my boyfriend or anything was just a silly one night stand. I later found out i was pregnant with his baby. 22 weeks on and he still doesnt know...
My reason for this is because he is very much into drugs..cocaine..extacy etc - drinks alot - and 9/10 times is fighting. He is only 19 and i feel hes not the really who i want around my baby as its not a good example. Some people have said i should tell him but i feel like its going open one big hell hole and make mines and my babys life a misery. I don't want anything from him and happy to do it myself. Do you think I'm being selfish or do you think im doing whats best by my baby??
I dont ever see this guy all i know is his name and where hes from and it is very unlikely i'll bang into him.
what do you think?
x

tinytoes

oooh tough one that.......gosh, sounds like a really nice guy, I can see why you'd spend the night with him...

anwyay. urm....suppose I' say he should know.. Baby may one day want to know who daddy is...you cant lie about that....so i guess i'd let him know but make it clear you want to steer clear until he's grown up or cleaned up.
If he's as much of a loser as you say chances are he'll want to stay away anyway.

just my thoughts?

Kayles1/8/08

yeah but it can either go one way or the other..

he'll say see ye later n be fine about it or make my life hell and be on my back every 2 minutes
no i wont lie to the baby when they want to know who they'r father is but i jus really don't want his family on my doorstep makin my life hell!

x

bigbelly2

I really dont know what to say here its a very difficult one , youll have some people saying that everybody that fathers a child has the RIGHT to know and be a part of the childs life but on the other hand if they are going to be more of a hinderence than a help to the baby and disrupt their life then its a decision that only you can make....you have all the crads and ultimately its your decision you just have to sit down and really think about this... trust your instinct

h x

toriaaaaTRASH

I wouldn't tell him. I think it's completely up to you whether or not your baby has someone like that in it's life. I think you should probably think twice before having a one night stand again. I know we just don't think at the time. My babies definately changed my views on so many things. My boyfriend smokes weed right now and I told him if he does it ONCE when the baby is born I don't want anything to do with him and the baby won't see him unless hes been drugs tested regularly.

If you don't want him to know, don't tell him.

Kayles1/8/08

Yeah I just think its common sense not to let drugs be around the baby because i think what kind of mum would i be to allow drugs and violence around him/her.
Yeah iv'e learnt my lesson on one night stands lol! will not be happening again!

x

Louisa K

I don't know what the right thing to do is.. But if I was you, I wouldn't want my child around anything like that at all ie. the drink and drugs.. I'd imagine he's a handful and might cause you some grief which isn't what you need now or later.. You'd probably be best on your own..

miel

you don't have to say anything right away any way ...have you baby with no stress see him/her grow and may be one day it will be the right time to tell the dad or it may never be...just take one day at the time.
good luck i am glad to see you are a responsible young adult

Kayles1/8/08

Thanks just needed to hear that from someone else to know i wasn't so bad doing what i'm doing

Thanks :-)

carmen

I have to agree.... He doesn t exactly sound the perfect catch and what if you tell him, then he wants rights to have the baby stay over or somethiung and he is off his head on drugs. BIG No No!

But i must admit the situation i sextremley difficult.... why did you tell people he was the father ...jeje.

Hard situation ... i think you have got to firstly think of you and your baby... then later when the baby is born see if that feeling changes.