I was just wondering whether there were any doctors or med students out there pregnant or the OH of someone who is? I did my OB/GYN rotation last term and saw some really scary things (as well as some of the most amazing things) and was wondering how you are coping with pregnancy? I am positive most of the time but the thought of my OH going through some of the things I saw keeps me awake at night. I just want everything to be ok and to bring them both back home safe at the end but can't get some of those things out of my head. Any advice would be much appreciated! Also how do you stop yourself getting too medically involved?

Hi

Im a 3rd year pedi resident in the states. Yeah, it's nerve wracking. Worst was when i was rotating in the NICU at 22-26 weeks pregnant. I was admitting babies concieved at the same time!

Ive done a lot of research and have a VERY detailed birth plan, including what is to happen with LO. It covers EVERYTHING, I think. what I want to happen if all is auspicious, what I want to happen if various complications arise, even down to certain types of medication that I want/dont want. I think my doc thinks Im a control freak, and I am, but oh well, they can just deal, kwim?

One thing not to do is this: dont scare your OH by telling her everything that can potentially go wrong. However, go to all the appts that you can and ask all the questions you want - your baby too, kwim?

As for not getting too medically involved - well, in my case, it's my body and my baby, so I can (and will...though Im no supposed to) look up my own lab results and such and I will go track down my OB friends to ask questions. I dont suggest doing this for your OH. technically, i could be fired for doing this for MYSELF, but I WOULD be fired if it were for someone else, kwim?

it's kind of strange, actually, everyone assumes I know everything already and that I wont have any questions, which isnt necessarily the case - my OB rotation was only 6 weeks long and it was 5 years ago, so... the one time I did call with a question I got sent straight to L&D (and ended up feeling stupid, as apparantly round ligament pain can be so bad you cant walk, but I didnt know that). Watch out for that attitude, as docs may think that since your OH is married to you, you can answer all her questions.

As for dealing with the anxiety,

Getting to milestones helps. Getting more ultrasounds helps.

13 weeks = much much lower risk of spontaneous loss

around 20 weeks = knowing results of fetal anatomy scan (level II)

24 weeks + 500 grams = potential viability (yeah, not so much for me, i know what happens to those kids, but...)

28+ weeks = viability with the potential to be somewhat normal (finally got there today!)

32 weeks = likely to be neurologically normal

35 weeks = pretty much good to go if born now.

The thing that really scares me is being on the "other side" and being a patient vs being the doctor, kwim? Loss of control.

Star

I am not a doctor, nor is my DH. But remember this. Women have been having babies since the dawn of time. Things can go wrong, but for the most part, you wife will pass through pregnancy just fine. If you look hard enough for problems and pathology, you will find them. Trust her body, it knows what to do without any help. Good luck!!!

It frustrates when people say all babies survive at 24 weeks, my son was born at 24 weeks and didn't survive. :'( Like you Starflyr, I know the damage they have to live with.

Unfortunately it is not just me who is the medic! My other half (incidentally not my wife) is also a medic although year below so not yet done paeds or OBGYN. I have just finished paeds so gone from what can go wrong to pregnant women to what can go wrong to little children just after! As for not telling her everything that can go wrong, maybe I should have hidden my obstetrc textbooks a little harder! Thanks for all your advice though - I think actually it will be an advantage as we will know the system and how to get what we want. I shall just have to concentrate on all those amazing stories I saw rather than the tragic ones.

I know what you mean Carley about this assumption that all babies survive at 24 weeks - sadly many are not strong enough and lots of those who are have many problems. Will still be a relief to get that far though.

hmm, me thinks you should set up a thread to tell us what to demand and when.
Any backdoor secrets we should be keeping our eyes on?