Just seems that as soon as you get pregnant you are considered to have just half a brain or less!

I am just so fed up with my choises being questioned all the time by a person who even doesn't have children herself (even if she is a midwife).

Am I the only one?

Awww hugs.

Perhpas she didn't mean to be patronsing, I guess she just had to be sure you know what your deciding on. Tell her you felt unsupported and hopefully get more support next time. xx

my midwife is a load of poop too you can ask for a different midwife though. at the end on the day its your pregnancy, your baby and your decision xx

My Midwife is wonderful, probably because she's a homebirth one. My OB from my previous child was great too, but I've had nurses act like I'm not educated on birth or havn't gone through it before. They get a little suprised when they hear I'm actually studying Midwifery and have a child. Guess who knows more than them

I'm not overly impressed with my midwife either.
I have a high BMi and want/will have a home birth.
Because of my BMI and my refusing just about everything else (Anti d, GTT and to see the aneasthetist) I have been met with nothing but negativity at every appointment.
It grinds me down but am determined not to let the system or medical staf "just doing their job" get in the way of my homebirth!!

I am going for a homebirth after previous c-section. I think it is the right choise for me and my baby.
But before that I want to be as sure as I can that everything else is ok.

Like for example I want to have a strep B swab done. If I am positive at 37 weeks, then I probably will go to the hospital.
Also I want to have a private scan at 37 weeks to check the babies position (if he isn't breech). I know that midwives are able to tell by palpating the tummy, but It is a known fact that if the midwife tells you she never got it wrong either she is lying or she hasn't been at he job long enough.

These things are importaint for me. And they can influence my decision on either having a homebirth or go to hospital.

Her reply was "well, you seem to be so anxious about everything and in the same time you want to have homebirth. Maybe a hospital birth right from the start would be better for you. You seem to contradict (sp?) yourself". (But it was said in a much less respective manner then I put it in here)

When I answered that all I want is to elimintate these things her answer was "well, its your money, but everything can change right before the birth. And you still can get strepB infection and baby can turn breech" like I am some sort of an idiot and don't know that.
But at least I will know if I have the infection and babies position at 37 weeks. And what if I am positive at that time and what if baby is breech?

It is just so frustrating!

Mines abit of a Nob LOL. Shes deffo one of the ones that thinks all teen mums are thick. Really patronising aswell... id love to giver her a slap. But i wont

i had one appointment with a midwife who was horrible. refused to see her again.

I don't think I could handle seeing a female doctor or midwife during pregnancy with no kids. That really would make me want to strangle her and explain to her that she has no clue how I feel.

That said, I will only go to male obstetricians during pregnancy. They have no idea what any of it feels like but they are generally more sympathetic and a little in awe of the whole process. The one I go to now is the most considerate man I've ever met and doesn't care if you just call him because you are upset and need to talk. He says "That's my job! You call me any time you need me. Even if you just need to talk." Never had a female that was so sympathetic. Last one I tried told me "You're pregnant, you're going to be sick. Deal with it." Never mind the fact that I was trying to tell her I had been sick for *2 years*. Found out I had gall stones shortly after.

wow so different in the USA to UK! I'm a student midwife and I find the male obstetricians are arrogant and have no sympathy at all! As for midwives that havent had kids...I have worked with midwives that HAVE had kids and their own personal experience has been easy pregnancy and easy birth, they are so unsympathetic they say things like "tooth ache is worse than childbirth" (someone actually said that the other day!) and "this woman is so dramatic, labour isnt even that painful" So you see..every woman has a different experience so just cos a midwife has had a baby before doesnt mean she is going to be more sympathetic. I havent had a baby (yet) and I have been so sympathetic to all women because of the fact i cant imagine how painful and horrible it is etc (although i do see how its all worth it in the end!) so i give them all the TLC they need and request.

I just think some midwives are just horrible and love having the power over people, and then other midwives are lovely and would do anything for you regardless of their experience. xxx