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Old Jan 28th, 2008, 10:36 AM   #1
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Family getting too involved


I'm not that close to my mum but she's very excited about me being pregnant. She's told me that as soon as she hears I'm in labour she's going to be in the hospital and my step sister is due 3 weeks later and she's said she wants to spend as much of that 3 weeks with me as she can.

I don't want to be rude but I don't want her that involved. My sister said to just not tell her till the baby is born but I feel bad about that. Thing is how do I stop her then rushing to the hospital?! I know I'm going to want to be private, just myself, my OH and baby for at least the time I'm in hospital and my first day at home & if my mum gets involved, she won't go away!!

What can I say or do to keep her at bay? I was hoping as my step sister is very needy and clingy towards her that this would keep her busy but I know there will still be a problem and I don't want to be rude or nasty.
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Old Jan 28th, 2008, 10:41 AM   #2
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we simply told everybody that colin would ring them when i was in labour and tell them if i would like any company. (we already decided we didnt want them all there waiting outside the door) they accepted that and when colin rang them he simply said i was having a rough time and that more people wouldnt be the best idea. they were very understanding considering they had been going on and on and on about being in the waiting room and wanting to see our son as soon as possible.
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Old Jan 28th, 2008, 10:48 AM   #3
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Thats a good idea. I suppose when it happens it's best to just make it clear to everyone not to come to the hospital. I know most of my family would respect my wishes but I'm not sure my mum would.

In the early days if I do decide I want someone to stay over and help out that I want it to be my sister as we are very close. She's saving up her holiday from work. She's not shy of telling my mum what she thinks either so could be a big help there.
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Old Jan 28th, 2008, 22:39 PM   #4
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We made it clear that we just wanted it to be the 3 of us for the first few days at home, we said people could to the hosp (depending on how birth went!) We just explained we wanted time on our own to get to know our baby! It didn't go down well at first but we just stuck to our guns! My Mum also decided that she would be coming to the Hosp when I was in labour, although at our hosp they rly only like you to have 1 birthing parner so I told her! She did keep saying 'Well, I'm your mum they have to let me in! I'll tell them they have to let me in!' and I simply told her she was more than welcome to come to the hosp and sit in reception for however long it took but she'd never get on the labour ward!

In the end people we're quite respectful of what we wanted, my OH's mum turned up at reception for some reason before I went to theatre but she was soon sent packing!

We just had the mums come and see us at the Hosp after the birth, as I couldn't get out of bed! I was a little annoyed as when they walked in my MIL went straight for Noah and didn't even asked me how I was or anything! My mum on the other hand came straight in, gave me a kiss and asked how I was etc!

The day we came home we asked my FIL to pop around to meet Noah and my mum was there as she had already made her was to the hosp as we were leaving!
It was nice having my mum at home with me for a few hours as she made me eggy soliders and gave me pain killers!

You just have to stick to what you want!!

xx
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