For those ladies who have been through the birth experience already, did your partner play much of a role in your labour/birth. I'm just wondering what to expect really, if their presence helped much, if there was anything they did specifically that really helped you etc. I'm trying to convince my OH that labour/birth is not a situation where he basically just waits and that he too has an active role, apart from saying "it'll be ok" cause those words will going one ear and out the window anyway....any ideas or am I not being realistic ?

My sons father was there when he was born we weren't together but he came. He was awesome to. Baby got stuck to and he ended up actually helping deliver him as the Dr was super busy The reassurance and calming influence he had was fantastic he talked me down when i panicked let me know he was there and just talked to me. It was his first child as well and i know i wouldn't have been able to do it alone. He told me to push and reminded me why i was doing it when i was exhausted and out of drugs. He then went on to take care of josh for the first two hours after he was born so i could be *repaired* and shower and Joshua was extremely upset as his shoulder was black and blue from his delivery. This helped me so much and i will always be grateful. He cant do it for you but he can make sure you don't give up

yeh my babies father is going to be there altho we are not together, so im having my mom there too, im going to need both of there encouragments!

I have visions of my OH "your hairs all sweaty", "your make ups all over" LOL

I am sure my OH will know what to do once its time, he doesn't like seeing me in pain but he thinks i am a wuss sometimes too, so he will be encouraging me to push more etc

He did think however that at sometime during the labour he would be able to go home for a nights kip! not a chance i've told him, whilst ever i am up and awake so is he!

On many birthing shows I've seen men have a bit of an active role when it comes to the labour and delivery process.

One of them is to hold up your leg/foot as you won't be focused on keeping them up at the time and allowing you to push better. Another is just plain reassurance, letting you know you'll be alright, taking a wet cloth to your head.

Sometimes it seems like the women's partners are the only thing keeping them any sort of "calm" throughout the process.

I'm sure if your DH wants to he'll be able to sneak a peak every now and again to see how the baby is progressing, many men get quite excited when they're able to see the baby at last.

You can have him do you count for you (1,2,3...etc) and encourage you to continue pushing, no matter how much it hurts.

And lastly, he gets to cut the cord! Though their role obviously isn't as active as ours, it's still necessary we need them!

And because you are doing it naturally like myself, having that little extra reassurance will mean the world I think.

Can't be any worse than my own dad who fainted when I was born, missed my sister as he had to watch the end of match of the day!

Thats the reason I´ve been taking my DH along to ALL my appointments, so he gets used to the idea of seeing me in a chair legs akimbo, scan machines, blood and the smell of Doctors waiting rooms and hospitals!!! He is terrible, he only has to step foot in a hospital and he starts to get all hot and feels sick, he´s a nightmare!!!

I´ve decided I´d quite like a water birth, so he can get in the pool and sit behind me and support me - and with each contraction I can pull all the hairs on his legs to let him share my pain!!!!!!!

Hahaha

when my OH was in hospital one time, the nurse had to ring me to come and calm him down as he was trying to do a runner from the hospital! he hates them, the smell, sharing wards, thinks he's going to get ill from being in them!

My DH didn't take an "active role" I would say in the birth of my son, he couldn't really do anything as it was preterm labor and it was all panicky etc. But just having him there was a HUGE deal. I swear if he wasen't there I might have gone insane with worry. Just having his presence there was a wonderful thing for me.

My Dh was really active in my birth plan and with me 100% of the way during labour and birth.
With each contraction I had my arms around his neck and leant against him........4 months later he had a discectomy, he still blames me LOL!