Thanks for your input.

I would love it if she'd chose to have a naming ceremony or something similar instead as i'd feel then i could 100% commit to what was asked of me. Unfortunately it has already been talked about (as we're planning something along the lines of a naming party for our own LO) and her response is that she wants her baby to have a "proper" christening!

I can see what you're saying FemmeEnceinte when you say "If you don't believe in it, then you're not promising to do anything to anyone. You're just muttering empty words in a room full of people." but if i am going to stand in front of friends and family and make a promise i want to mean it!

I don't know what wording my sister will go for but the last baptism i attended the godparents had to repeat after the vicar that they would "lead baby x in the way of christ and repent satan, and help him to lead a good christian life" etc and i suppose it's that part of it i feel funny about, as it doesn't reflect my personal beliefs. I have no problems promising to support my sister in motherhood and being there for her LO it's just i don't know why she is including the religious element when it doesn't mean anything to her

It's tricky!

hmm I can see now a bit better where you are coming from.

I had misunderstood your dilemma as you were upset with your sister's decision with the church, and I was taking it from her perspective that she didn't t have to be a dedicated church goer to find a christening in a church touching and meaningful and useful for future religious direction options for the child. But the foundation is that she and her DH, I assume, have some christian roots that make them comfortable with a church service. Although I am not a catholic, or dedicated church goer in general, I was a godparent to my nephew, with the service in the catholic church. However, I did not have a problem with was the general content of the service and what I was being asked to say.

But obviously if you as a future godparents find the service uncomfortable and potentially offensive that would be a problem .

I hope Rebaby you find something that works for you and your sister. It isn't an easy one.

Too follow that up, my advice is to focus just on your own comfort level of the service. Your sister likely has a stronger connection to Christianity (and that doesn't have to include the church) than you may have.

Eek, what a puzzle! I can totally see where you're coming from - my OH and I are religious and we will be holding a christening, but we've deliberately chosen Godparents that we know share our beliefs. One of my close friends is an atheist, and while I'd love to have him as a godparent I couldn't in all conscience ask him to stand up and make vows to a god he doesn't believe in.

Maybe you could speak to the vicar/priest taking the ceremony and see if there's a different role you could perform, maybe a sponsor or something?