such a lovely thought......!!!!

I think people (read: fathers-to-be) automatically assume hospitals will be safer, as that is where there are more experts/monitors/facilities should something go wrong, or even if it doesn't.

I suppose it's fairly natural for them to think this, especially as they will be feeling that alpha-male protective stuff on behalf of both of us during labour. I explain to my DH that all those monitors/people was one of the exact reasons why I DON'T want a hospital birth, if I can avoid it.

On the homebirth.org.uk website I put on your other thread, lovedupgirl, there is lots of research that demonstrates that what could go wrong at home is also extremely likely to be unpreventable in hospital. Homebirths are also statistically safer, though of course that is fairly self-explanatory, as women deemed high risk would automatically be booked in for hospital births, so where complications arose, many had probably been anticipated.

I explained to my DH that I will feel more confident and relaxed at home, we won't have to be apart, as the perso leaving after will be the mw, not him, and that he will be able to play a more active part too. It also did help, tbh, that the hospital is only 10 mins away by ambulance.

My OH wont even look at the information!Just says whats the point when he doesn't want a home birth!I am sooo frustrated

If push comes to shove, it's you having this baby not him. You decide where you give birth not him. It's vital for a good labour that you feel comfortable about where you are labouring/giving birth. What about a MW led unit? Would he and you feel more comfortable about this?

I want a home waterbirth. A lot of people are like 'nooo! You should be in hospital for your 1st'.
OH says he'd prefer me to go to hospital, but if i want a homebirth then that's fine! =). Hospital from me would be a good 20mins by ambulance, although we have a small hospital only 5mins away.
I haven't really looked into it as such yet, only read a few things here and there and i hate hospitals so a homebirth would be ideal. Thing is, i live with my mum and don't think me and OH will have found a place of our own by then. I'm not sure if i want mum there with me or not, but it's her house, and i don't want to be rude! I don't mind if i don't get one, but if i can't then i'd like to go to a midwife led unit. I'm waiting until my 25wk appointment with the MW to discuss things more though. X

Torianna some women just use big paddaling pools. As for the women who sayd their oh dont want one as some one has said its you giving birth not them.
Im not pregnant yet but have been discussing it and he has said that he would rather me go into hospital but he knows im going to get my own way anyway so hes not going to argue and as long as i research into it.

I want a home birth! This is my first pregnancy and my mother is freaking out at me not being in a hospital and my OH is a little concerned too. But I wants what I wants! unless of course, there's any risks involved.

I generally don't like doctors and admittedly I've only been this way since I moved to London (Over ten years of bad experiences!!!). Besides I think midwives would only be midwives if they liked mothers and babies and children whereas doctors can be quite clinical.

Also friend of mine gave birth last year and she said the WORST part of it for her was the thought of leaving home when she was in that state. She felt comfortable and safe having her horrible contractions at home but being dragged to hospital was not her idea of fun.

I'm a bit concerned about where I'll have the birth as I don't know what kind of room will be suitable. Thanks to all the posts on this thread! informative and encouraging!

My MW's have been happy for me to choose any room except the bathroom,

Basically allot depends on what you want to give birth on/in ... like bed or pool etc,

It its on a bed then there needs to be enough room around the bed for her to do her stuff etc
(which is why she said not my bathroom, the rooms to small)
If its pool then there needs to be room for the pool and for the MWs and there stuff but other than that she left it up to me.

Im giving birth in my dinning room again because we have wooden floor in there so i don't have to worry about covering the floor and there's a sofa bed in there,
Theres a downstairs toilet next to the room and it meens if its a night time birth i wont wake my other kids up (not that you will have that problem lol) xxxx

this is great! It's still early on for me but I really want a home birth. I also agree that statistically its safer (given the bit about already-known complications etc) and it is YOU that is important - OH is just there as a support (not being mean! just factual that YOU are the one giving birth) and they will get to be more involved at home as well and so they ought to feel more in control too.
As long as you research it all properly and feel comfortable with your decision then everyone around you ought to support it.
I can understand though that if everyone around you is panicking about it being 'dangerous' at home (isnt it only really recently that hospital birth has become the 'norm'? what did we do before???) it might make you more anxious. Grr!
Will be checking back on this thread!

I totally agree with everyone else, loveupgirl, it's not him who's 'having' the birth - you are!

I went to my first private (not NCT though) ante natal class last night and the emphasis is on mother's choice, not promoting hb's.

One thing the organiser did say is that if the mother is where she wants to be, whether that's hospital or home or wherever, she is more likely to be relaxed, labour will progress more smoothly and she will not feel threatened. DH has already agreed to a hb, but I commented to him then that this is why I want one - it just *feels* like the right choice for me.

Your OH is being selfish if he refuses to even listen to your pov or read anything about it. You will need him to be fully informed wherever you have your LO. Mind you, that doesn't help you! Sorry!

Last night I was also recommended another website: http://www.aims.org.uk/hbchoose.htm I'm just about to have a look.