So Im considered 'high risk' because of family history? Why are people so judgemental

Louise · Aug 6th, 2007, 08:23 AM

When I first joined this forum, you may remember me posting a thread regarding me being sent to see a shrink on the mother and baby unit of the hospital.

Well, for a start Im not mental and secondly, I did eventually go and see her, regardless of whether I wanted too or not, I did it to prove a point.
So my mother was a cow to all her kids, fair comment- she can no longer look after children and hopefully regrets what she did to us all, but why base family history on my capabilities to look after my son? Can dr's do this? I was told that it would be best for me to comply with their rules and requests, because if I dont, It would make it look as if I "didnt care"-
How would they work that out? would YOU not be offended if you had to go and see one of these people based souly on your mothers mistakes/problems?
So I was declared 'normal', as I knew I freakng would be, but for some reason I am STILL on the high risk list for PND- I dont understand ot, HOW COME?
I even have to have a nurse from the mother and baby unit come visit me at home a few times before and after baby is born. Im not seeing their reasoning behind it.
Is this a normal thing to happen to first time mothers or what?
Can I ask, if it was you in this situation, would you do as 'your told' by drs and attend these bizarre meetings? or out of principal, would you decline?
Has ANYONE been in this situation where you have been put in the same catagory as someone you're not simular too, in the slightest (ie: a family member)

Tezzy · Aug 6th, 2007, 08:29 AM

i would have loved some extra support when rhys was born... i just thought my hv didnt care.

id go along with it hun

Louise · Aug 6th, 2007, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrie

i would have loved some extra support when rhys was born... i just thought my hv didnt care.

id go along with it hun

In saying that though, if you were in my situtaion, would you still be saying that!
It feels as though Im being 'spied upon'!
I know Im a first time mother and I admit that I havent got a clue what im doing at the moment, but the last thing first time mums need, is the stress and worry of someone always being there trying to tell you what to do. It makes you feel incompetent or something.
What was it like for you when your little one was born?? was it weekly visists etc and what did they do when they came round!?

Tezzy · Aug 6th, 2007, 08:43 AM

my hv came rouns twice when rhys was born. once to take notes etc and to weigh him and then another time to check on his eye infection.

she did not realise i had PND and ever since i told her shes treated me as if im a nut case... not good at all.

i really wished i had more professionals that wanted to help me instead of treat me like a loony, even after i was diagnosed with PND my hv never offerd to come to the house or anything.

Louise · Aug 6th, 2007, 09:17 AM

Im sorry to hear that seems you had it a bit rough!
Im being treated like a loony too, so youre not on your own. I admit I have one or two issues, but none that would require 'monitoring'!
I just dont know who these people think they are, fair enough they're there to 'help', but I put that word very mildly because they can actually cause more harm then good, especially if they make a mother feel as though she is mental.

Hels · Aug 6th, 2007, 11:07 AM

Do you know after I had Charlie I was NEVER asked how I was? Yes, all the Health Care Professionals asked about Charlie, but never me.

I dont know any history of your Mum, but some mental illnesses do run in the family. I guess it is quite judgemental, but try and see it in a positive light?

Louise · Aug 6th, 2007, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hels

Do you know after I had Charlie I was NEVER asked how I was? Yes, all the Health Care Professionals asked about Charlie, but never me.

I dont know any history of your Mum, but some mental illnesses do run in the family. I guess it is quite judgemental, but try and see it in a positive light?

See, its the opposite for me- they wanna know about me all the time. As for mental illnesses, nobody had a mental illness,my mum just wasnt fit to look after children and ended up in prison for breaking my brothers collarbone, arms and legs, its a wonder he didnt die- she was tanked up on drugs.
I guess healthcare professionals work in different ways for each person.

beanie · Aug 6th, 2007, 11:19 AM

I agree with Hels. At least they will be able to monitor you and if all is well then you will just be discharged. It's harder to get the support if you did develop PND so at least you have got this ball rolling. Though I can understand your frustration but mental health issues can be genetic. I personally would go along with it, ignoring it will just make it worse. Why not ask the reasoning behind it, why you are still considered high risk.

Can I just add though that I am being monitored, and assessed and though I have PND I am still "normal"

Tezzy · Aug 6th, 2007, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hels

Do you know after I had Charlie I was NEVER asked how I was? Yes, all the Health Care Professionals asked about Charlie, but never me.

ridiculas isnt it??

Dionne · Aug 6th, 2007, 12:07 PM

i would feel anioed and i dont know what your mother done but
if it ran in my family for example that parents beat their children and abused them,i would like to be assesed so if i became like that i would be treated before it started.

just go along with it

and i was the same hels i never got asked once how i felt.
i was fine after Dior but there were only a few weeks after Harley was born when i felt so low i wanted to die and hated my life so much. it passed thankfully the thought of staying inn th=at black hole is awful

Aug 6th, 2007, 08:23 AM	#1
Louise Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: On Cloud 9 Posts: 839	So Im considered 'high risk' because of family history? Why are people so judgemental When I first joined this forum, you may remember me posting a thread regarding me being sent to see a shrink on the mother and baby unit of the hospital. Well, for a start Im not mental and secondly, I did eventually go and see her, regardless of whether I wanted too or not, I did it to prove a point. So my mother was a cow to all her kids, fair comment- she can no longer look after children and hopefully regrets what she did to us all, but why base family history on my capabilities to look after my son? Can dr's do this? I was told that it would be best for me to comply with their rules and requests, because if I dont, It would make it look as if I "didnt care"- How would they work that out? would YOU not be offended if you had to go and see one of these people based souly on your mothers mistakes/problems? So I was declared 'normal', as I knew I freakng would be, but for some reason I am STILL on the high risk list for PND- I dont understand ot, HOW COME? I even have to have a nurse from the mother and baby unit come visit me at home a few times before and after baby is born. Im not seeing their reasoning behind it. Is this a normal thing to happen to first time mothers or what? Can I ask, if it was you in this situation, would you do as 'your told' by drs and attend these bizarre meetings? or out of principal, would you decline? Has ANYONE been in this situation where you have been put in the same catagory as someone you're not simular too, in the slightest (ie: a family member)

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Aug 6th, 2007, 08:29 AM	#2
Tezzy Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North Wales Posts: 11,131	i would have loved some extra support when rhys was born... i just thought my hv didnt care. id go along with it hun

Status: Offline

Aug 6th, 2007, 08:43 AM	#4
Tezzy Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North Wales Posts: 11,131	my hv came rouns twice when rhys was born. once to take notes etc and to weigh him and then another time to check on his eye infection. she did not realise i had PND and ever since i told her shes treated me as if im a nut case... not good at all. i really wished i had more professionals that wanted to help me instead of treat me like a loony, even after i was diagnosed with PND my hv never offerd to come to the house or anything.

Status: Offline

Aug 6th, 2007, 09:17 AM	#5
Louise Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: On Cloud 9 Posts: 839	Im sorry to hear that seems you had it a bit rough! Im being treated like a loony too, so youre not on your own. I admit I have one or two issues, but none that would require 'monitoring'! I just dont know who these people think they are, fair enough they're there to 'help', but I put that word very mildly because they can actually cause more harm then good, especially if they make a mother feel as though she is mental.

Status: Offline

Aug 6th, 2007, 11:07 AM	#6
Hels Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 869	Do you know after I had Charlie I was NEVER asked how I was? Yes, all the Health Care Professionals asked about Charlie, but never me. I dont know any history of your Mum, but some mental illnesses do run in the family. I guess it is quite judgemental, but try and see it in a positive light?
Hels Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 869
Status: Offline

Aug 6th, 2007, 11:19 AM	#8
beanie Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the land of make believe Posts: 1,601	I agree with Hels. At least they will be able to monitor you and if all is well then you will just be discharged. It's harder to get the support if you did develop PND so at least you have got this ball rolling. Though I can understand your frustration but mental health issues can be genetic. I personally would go along with it, ignoring it will just make it worse. Why not ask the reasoning behind it, why you are still considered high risk. Can I just add though that I am being monitored, and assessed and though I have PND I am still "normal"

Status: Offline

Aug 6th, 2007, 12:07 PM	#10
Dionne Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Mars Posts: 1,584	i would feel anioed and i dont know what your mother done but if it ran in my family for example that parents beat their children and abused them,i would like to be assesed so if i became like that i would be treated before it started. just go along with it and i was the same hels i never got asked once how i felt. i was fine after Dior but there were only a few weeks after Harley was born when i felt so low i wanted to die and hated my life so much. it passed thankfully the thought of staying inn th=at black hole is awful

Status: Offline

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