I really cant handle it :( - Page 3

jackiea85 · Jan 1st, 2009, 12:35 PM

Don't listen to your OH, you are not a shit mother! The first few weeks/months are hard for everyone, you are just getting to know your baby so it is really hard to work out what he wants or needs. My baby is 3 months old now and there are still times that I have no idea what he wants, he just cries and grizzles. Please don't feel like you are a failure, things will get better, honest

xx

aurora32 · Jan 1st, 2009, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sophie1205

Thanks that was really helpful.

Im willing to try anything so we'll see how tonight goes then Im gonna have to try something different.

Hes on SMA gold btw.
xx

well if he is on gold cap and you want to keep with SMa try getting a few cartons of the blue one for a few feeds thats for hungrier babies and try it for 48 hours using that and see if it makes a difference dont ask health visitor just do it your baby you do what u feel he needs, or like i say Aptamil extra hungry is the purple tub again you could try cartons for 48 hours to see if thats the problem.
Hope you dont feel im interfering and if it looks like that sorry

Im here if you need to chat.......

Sophie1205 · Jan 1st, 2009, 12:41 PM

No its fine. thats good advice thank you. I will try that, I think it will help actually cuz hes getting to be a little piggy recently lol!

xxx

aurora32 · Jan 1st, 2009, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sophie1205

No its fine. thats good advice thank you. I will try that, I think it will help actually cuz hes getting to be a little piggy recently lol!

xxx

Lets hope so hunn.......

brownhairedmom · Jan 1st, 2009, 13:59 PM

He could be going through a growth spurt too!

I put Renah down at 12:30am. She feeds, has a diaper change and then manages to sleep until 7:30, feeds, sleeps till 9:30, feeds then sleeps till 11:30. It might not be the best schedule for some but its the best schedule for us. The later she feeds, the more likely she is to go to sleep the whole night.

charliebear · Jan 1st, 2009, 19:29 PM

Your a great mammy hun.

Dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

I know how you feel with the crying, i find it really hard sometimes when i cant figure out whats wrong.
One night i even put LO in the carseat and turned all lights and tv off and sat on the sofa like we were in the car! It worked though

We still dont have a routine and LO feeds at different times but has now slept through a total of 3 nights since saturday!!

Hope things get better hun, everyones advice sounds good too. x

mommyof3co · Jan 1st, 2009, 19:54 PM

You said he usually wakes at 12am for a feed then won't go back down until 4am? Maybe try keeping it dark and really quiet, don't play with him, just feed and change him then rock him or whatever you do to get him back to sleep. If you don't stimulate him and show him he isn't missing out on anything maybe you an get him to go back down faster?

**Tiff** · Jan 1st, 2009, 21:35 PM

I'm so sorry hun!

That's awful that your OH said those things to you. You are definintely not a failure as a mother! It's a huge responsiblity being a Mom, and it's definitely not easy.

I have my moments too, Claire has taken to biting while she's trying to feed, and I am so, so sore. She was having a really fussy moment earlier today and I just sat and cried, didn't feel like I could cope at all. You are definitely not alone. I'm sure everyone one of us has doubted that we've been doing a good job at times.

I hope your OH sees the error of his ways with saying stuff like that. He needs to be supportive of you right now, not condecending!

CamoQueen · Jan 2nd, 2009, 03:46 AM

You are NOT a bad mother, how could your OH say that? When your baby is crying unconsolably it is the number one most horrible thing in the world, I know.

If you think you'd be at all comfortable co-sleeping, I'd really recommend it. I was totally against it, until about day 3 of David refusing to sleep in his crib. He would just wail and cry, and I kept on falling asleep in the recliner with him in my arms. Now he sleeps next to me in bed, and he'll usually go 2-4 hours without waking to eat, which is pretty darn good for a breastfed baby, I think -- and he goes straight to sleep afterward, with no fussing.

I've been getting my 8 hours ever since we started co-sleeping; it is really a miracle what one good night of sleep will do for your poor, tired psyche. I really hope you find your key to sleeping soon... I know what lack of sleep can do to a woman. Your frustration is totally warranted!

nessajane · Jan 2nd, 2009, 04:28 AM

hey hun, how did you get on last night with leo? x x

Jan 1st, 2009, 12:35 PM	#21
jackiea85 Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2,398	Don't listen to your OH, you are not a shit mother! The first few weeks/months are hard for everyone, you are just getting to know your baby so it is really hard to work out what he wants or needs. My baby is 3 months old now and there are still times that I have no idea what he wants, he just cries and grizzles. Please don't feel like you are a failure, things will get better, honest xx

Status: Offline

Jan 1st, 2009, 12:41 PM	#23
Sophie1205 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Merseyside, UK Posts: 5,884	No its fine. thats good advice thank you. I will try that, I think it will help actually cuz hes getting to be a little piggy recently lol! xxx

Status: Offline

Jan 1st, 2009, 13:59 PM	#25
brownhairedmom Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 6,444	He could be going through a growth spurt too! I put Renah down at 12:30am. She feeds, has a diaper change and then manages to sleep until 7:30, feeds, sleeps till 9:30, feeds then sleeps till 11:30. It might not be the best schedule for some but its the best schedule for us. The later she feeds, the more likely she is to go to sleep the whole night.

Status: Offline

Jan 1st, 2009, 19:29 PM	#26
charliebear Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: North East -UK Posts: 4,269	Your a great mammy hun. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. I know how you feel with the crying, i find it really hard sometimes when i cant figure out whats wrong. One night i even put LO in the carseat and turned all lights and tv off and sat on the sofa like we were in the car! It worked though We still dont have a routine and LO feeds at different times but has now slept through a total of 3 nights since saturday!! Hope things get better hun, everyones advice sounds good too. x

Status: Offline

Jan 1st, 2009, 19:54 PM	#27
mommyof3co Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Waxahachie, TX Posts: 10,076	You said he usually wakes at 12am for a feed then won't go back down until 4am? Maybe try keeping it dark and really quiet, don't play with him, just feed and change him then rock him or whatever you do to get him back to sleep. If you don't stimulate him and show him he isn't missing out on anything maybe you an get him to go back down faster?

Status: Offline

Jan 1st, 2009, 21:35 PM	#28
Tiff Mum (Mom) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 17,538	I'm so sorry hun! That's awful that your OH said those things to you. You are definintely not a failure as a mother! It's a huge responsiblity being a Mom, and it's definitely not easy. I have my moments too, Claire has taken to biting while she's trying to feed, and I am so, so sore. She was having a really fussy moment earlier today and I just sat and cried, didn't feel like I could cope at all. You are definitely not alone. I'm sure everyone one of us has doubted that we've been doing a good job at times. I hope your OH sees the error of his ways with saying stuff like that. He needs to be supportive of you right now, not condecending!

Status: Online

Jan 2nd, 2009, 03:46 AM	#29
CamoQueen Other BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Florida, USA Posts: 3,163	You are NOT a bad mother, how could your OH say that? When your baby is crying unconsolably it is the number one most horrible thing in the world, I know. If you think you'd be at all comfortable co-sleeping, I'd really recommend it. I was totally against it, until about day 3 of David refusing to sleep in his crib. He would just wail and cry, and I kept on falling asleep in the recliner with him in my arms. Now he sleeps next to me in bed, and he'll usually go 2-4 hours without waking to eat, which is pretty darn good for a breastfed baby, I think -- and he goes straight to sleep afterward, with no fussing. I've been getting my 8 hours ever since we started co-sleeping; it is really a miracle what one good night of sleep will do for your poor, tired psyche. I really hope you find your key to sleeping soon... I know what lack of sleep can do to a woman. Your frustration is totally warranted!

Status: Offline

Jan 2nd, 2009, 04:28 AM	#30
nessajane Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 7,586	hey hun, how did you get on last night with leo? x x

Status: Offline

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