Hi guys posted in baby club but thought would post here as more people may understand?
Basically my husband has always been lovely and amazing but since i had the baby i cant do anything right??? 2 weeks ago today i had an emergency c section.
Lately hes always f-ing and blinding at anything and has such a short temper.
He has been great and has tidied up the house and had made sure i was fed and watered etc but seemed to begrudge it? Whilst i was on maternity leave before my baby i would make sure he had dinner on the table etc. Fair enough the house was a state but i was in agony with my back.

Two nights ago we had a major row as on facebook we have photos and his mother had put that our baby looks like my dad and if you know me me and my dad hate eachother and i found this offensive.... so said no way does he look like my dad. She then commented how he has brown eyes and red hair.... he has blue eyes and mousey brown to blonde hair and i said so and then my sister said a ginger comment and I said can people stop being horrible about my son, and her comment basically was like f u and i wont comment about YOUR son.
Before the pregnancy she was OTT and kept asking how her granddaughter was and how HER baby was and i would reply that mty husband was fine and i was fine and as far as i was aware the baby was fine too.

He thought i was out of order for not putting a lol after my comment. but why would i say stop being horrible to my son lol? I aint joking I mean DONT be nasty to my son.

Anyway we seemed to resolve it but the next morning he was off with me again and he was meant to go back to work but couldbnt get the trains so had one extra day home. he looked after mikey whilst i had a nice long bath which i was gagging for as i am constantly breastfeeding. then i came down and went on msn and chatted to my mates whilst he had the baby. My husband was watching te football and i had said i would do dinner but to be honest i forgot as i wasnt hungry but he sat there waiting.
We then had a massive row that i just think about the baby and not him anymore and that i am selfish! And he has to have some time out to think things through!

Our son is 2 weeks old. Before he came along yes my husband was my world but now my son is everythin and more to me and i cant help putting him first?
I have had him in his moses basket most of today as i feel guilty that i want to cuddle him now.

I just dunno what to do as i wont have anything if he leaves me as i am on maternity getting the minimum amount! I dont think he will leave me but its really scaring me that he will.... oh and the whole sex issue keeps coming up too! I love my husband to bits and thought this time was supposed to be all in a huge bubble not being scared your husband will leave you?

xx

Oh, I'm so sorry--you must just feel so poor, with all the worry of the c-section, tryingt to mend, being sleepless and now having TWO babies on your hands!! Having a baby in the house is a huge adjustment for some men...I read that some men react this way and thought to myself, "if my dh acts this way, he can hit the road!" Honestly, how silly and self absorbed can they be?

The fights that you've been having are just symptomatic--the underlying cause is what he said out loud: "it's all about the baby"...and um, it should be. He's only 2 weeks old, and your guy should also be pretty much about the little one. And the sex thing? Gah...it's going to have to wait until you feel better. Here in the states, I couldn't have sex after my c-section for 6 weeks because of rupture....rupture. That's pretty UNSEXY!!!

I know you're worried about him leaving, but it sounds like he's just blowing off steam and doesn't quite know how to say something without inserting his foot into his mouth! I would put it simply. This baby has noone else to care for it's needs but you and HIM. And until his needs are met, then both your needs take a back seat. Period. If he doesn't understand that, then you might need to reevaluate him, afterall.

yea i have even asked mw when can have sex its not thaT I dont want it at all its just unsafe!
x

Im sorry hes being like that hun... me and hubby had some of our worst rows when we brought home our first born we were both so tired we just really didnt get on, once we got into a routine and stuff we got alot better xx

My OH was a like this at first, he is pretty needy especially when it comes to sex.....I think he thought his thing would drop off with 6 weeks without sex!! It def sounds typical of some of the behaviour that I experienced. OH felt pushed out and a little bit jealous but then I think he got mad that he felt guilty for being jealous of his own son! Its a huge adjustment for men, its a known fact that women start to adjust for motherhood during their pregnancy, they have to accomodate the changes in their hormones and bodies, with men it only really hits them when the baby is born. My advice would be to try and do things as a family so that he doesn't feel so isolated, instead of driving to the shops...walk with the pram togther, he will enjoy the attention that a newborn baby brings trust me. Although I guess it is a little cold for family outings. As Toby got older my OH became alot better as they have now become 'best buddies' they play lots to the extent that sometimes I feel left out....that is the beauty of fathers and sons. You are also bound to be sensitive too, you have just had a baby so your hormones will be all over the place, not to mention you will be shattered!!! I am sure things will get easier over time, just hang on in there!

Do you express milk so that your OH can do the feed from time to time? That will help him to bond with the baby and make him feel a bit more important?

nothing comes out if i express and even so the baby wont eat if hubs feeds him but minute i take over he guzzles??

my oh completly changed after zane was born, id do everything around the house n id have to ask him to watch zane when i went for baths ect and hed huff and puff!

and also on weekends id be expecting him to spend time with us but even on his mat leave hed leave us alone and go to his mates house for a chat and a cuppa! i cudnt walk let alone get myself anything to eat or drink as i was forever lookin after lo.

he took me completly for granted and then even made a comment sayin he never got hugs anymore and zane was always in my arms! he was seriously jealous of a newborn.

having a new baby is a testing time for both mum and dad but he needs to understand that ur the one going thru all the afterpain and constant tiredness. as for thinkin about sex i wudnt even go near him let alone think about that lol

i didnt have a section but i think the normal time is 6 weeks, i made my oh wait 12 weeks lol

I didn't feel up to sex until the 6 week mark, and even after that I was a little bit unsure. It ended up being fine, but then I got a yeast infection so he had to wait more. He was very understanding...but then, he sortof had to be. It's no fun if the person you're with isn't interested, is it?

Its a tough one, I guess from a bottle its just not the same. I am sure once your son gets a little older and their bond strengthens he won't feel as left out as he does now. It depends what your family network is like but when Toby was a few months my mum took him for a few hours so that me and my OH could go out for some tea...that was nice and we both missed Toby so it was nice to come home to him, my mum loved it too as she got him all to herself for a few hours!