see hes been fantastic when he was off work. he went back today and had cleaned the house from top to bottom and some times i have had to tell him to stop but yet he begrudges me for it?

seems like u cant win then.

he needs to grow up, im sure uve tried to talk to him but if u sit him down and just ask whats wrong with him, he might feel he can open up and say whats on hi mind.

i woudnt worry about him leaving u, we all get scared after having our los and we just seem to deal with it alot better then men

so sorry he is being like this hon, i think you need to have serious words with him! i'd be sooooo mad if my james acted like this, and after a c-section, a major, big operation i think i would go nuts your still recovering xx

Hey MrsQ, I hope apart from your DH being a prize eejit you're well.

I def think you need to sit down and get to the bottom of how he's feeling. My OH isn't working so does more than his fair share of stuff, but as you mentioned, he sometime moans like a 2 year old and I thought he resented me as I couldn't help out.

After a chat with him, it turned out he hated the fact I was so ill and useless and he was angry and frustrated he was unable to help me. He said he just wanted to take the pain away for me.

In terms of the sex thing, he really shouldn't be pushing it. Have you tried a compromise with him? Just giving him a handjob or blowjob (sorry if it's tmi for anyone!) but some sexual stimulation might help his frustration and make him feel more 'wanted' so to speak!!

My OH was gagging for a BJ as I hadn't given him one for the entire pregnancy! I finally relucted a few days ago but I got him to agree to do the washing up, washing and cook dinner for it!!!! Might be worth a try!!

i wudnt give him a damn thing the ways hes been acting towards u, id tell him to f off and do it himself but thats just me lol

us girlies have our lives change the day we get that BFP but for blokes it's more of a distant reality - until LO arrives, so it's a mega shock to their system. I think some blokes also find it difficult to have not just the emotional attention transferred over to baby but (maybe a bit crude...) but also the physical attention is having LO stuck to your boob all the time. Whilst its the most natural thing in the world it's a hard adjustment for men having to learn to share you - especially a minute after getting married.

it's only been 2 weeks...things will naturally get easier as long as you guys can talk openly about how you feel. Also in the same respect hubby has to learn that it's a huge adjustment for you, your body is different, your emotions are all over the place and you are the main caregiver so you NEVER get a break - it's tough going!

I suggest lots of hugs to get you guys through the next couple of weeks till your a bit stronger and hubbys a bit more aclimatised to LO then have some good chats

lots of love hunni, don;t be down you'll feel better soon

xxx

Hi MrsQ - really sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Sounds like utter jealousy to me. Hubby has had you to himself all this time and now he has to share you. Facebook thing was probably just a catalyst, not the actual issue.

Perhaps make it clear to him that you understand that he may be feeling left out, but that he is still very important to you and he's also very important to his son. You're now a family of three, but that doesn't diminish how you feel for hubby one bit.

It's a massive change for him, like someone said, we change from the bfp, but they don't really and they are going through that now.

Don't really know what else to suggest, but all the same very sorry to hear of your difficulties and hope it resolves itself. Still very very early days x x

maybe he is just a bit narked because he is used to you doing everything for him and he is now having to do it himself, tiredness and change affects people very differently hun but i dont think he is going to leave you!
When your not feeding maybe just have 10 minutes all as a family for cuddles and stuff i didnt BF but i was always able to settle annabelle and comfort her better than OH so i didnt want him to feel bad so we would sit and just chat whilst cuddling all together, bit cheesy but was nice

Lou
xxx

Lou
xxx

So sorry to hear what your going through. I only had my baby two weeks ago too and appreciate how much we need support , help and reassurance at this stage.
I think its quite hard for both parents at the start. As well as it being exciting its very demanding on women for feeds and then when our OH goes back to work we have it all day etc and they do tend to have a bit of a free reign over what and when they do things. Us women are more maternal so were always going to put our LO'S first. And i think we already have that bond with our babies as we've carried them through pregnancy.
Its a very emotional and big thing for both parents, the birth is emotional and tiresome and then the first few nights are very tiring until a routine is established.
I think with men they get tired like us but never quite sure how to deal with things like in most cases. The birth no doubt would have been both exciting and scary for them as it was for us.
My OH has been great, he got a little snappy one night when he was tired and Baby boy was crying non stop but he admits the birth for him was exciting and also scary when i lost lots of blood and then the drip went wrong, and our LO started getting stressed during labour and he said he felt like a spare part as it was all down to me to push our baby out and cope with all the pain as he couldnt take any of me. So i think it probably all just reflects from there.
I think once they start back at work its like they've had a break so should come back like changed men.
I understand also what you say about how women feel scared there OH will leave them. I think maybe thats something we all feel too. One night i felt a bit scared because i was worried that he might get fed up of me because i felt a bit rubbish in myself, was bleeding and in pain and felt unattractive and was worried he'd get stressed with the sleepless nights and get fed up, but it soon passed and i feel as secure than ever. I think its all typical phases perhaps some people go through.
I think though if it helps try and talk it through, he needs to understand how you feel too.
Take care hun x

so sorry to hear this. Having fin has changed my marriage. I nearly left as i was getting no help unless i asked and then it was done with a moan. There was even a thought he was having an affair. He has got used to it now and things are much better. Men take longer to adjust. We adjust for 9 month's.