It has been 12 weeks this week since I gave birth to my beautiful little boy.
Since the birth I have noticed a few changes in myself which I find odd and not sure if anyone else has experienced this.
I don't really know where to start describing this so bare with me here!

I had a long labour, when I was in hospital in the delivery suite I was put on some kind of drip to speed up my contractions because they weren't regular enough, so anyway once the drip was put in place I noticed the change in contractions and then something really scary happened.
Basically my body completely tensed up and went into a spasm and I couldn't do anything to stop it. During this time I had the midwife telling me to stop pushing, I tried telling her I wasn't doing it but I couldn't speak. The midwife just kept saying over and over again to stop pushing. It was truely scary as I couldn't stop it at all and I really thought I was going to die
The midwife then looked really puzzled and ran out the room to get the doctor, then before I knew it loads of people stormed in the room and I started to panic, noone would say what was going on and I freaked out.
Needless to say I managed to go through the contractions and push my beautiful boy out but since then I have felt differently.

Mainly I feel distant and I feel no emotion towards my other half (the babys father) since the birth I feel nothing towards him. He wasn't there for the birth (which he promised me he would be) but it was through no fault of his own.
I just don't know why I feel like this.
I literally feel nothing. I am starting to worry about this alot.
I do feel down in general, I am not happy with where I am in my life at the moment, but I am sure of one thing that I love my little boy more than anything.

Am I the only one to feel like this or is there anyone else who have been through this?

Any replies appreciated

It is very common to feel seperated from your other half and even to fight alot. I had this a little in the beginning with my first child. It was hard work trying to rebuild the connection. If you are really worried I would definately try to seek help is their a support group locally where you are maybe through your hospital? There is no shame in getting a little counselling.

maybe speak t your Hv, possibly a bit of PND in there. no real advice as ive not experienced it but def speak to someone xx

it might be related to your birth experience, try http://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/