Sex after the birth

shayandbump · Jan 9th, 2010, 21:29 PM

I had quite a difficult birth; my Daughter was back-to-back so I ended up having an episiotomy & assisted delivery (ventuose).

She's now just over 15 weeks old and it's still incredibly painful to have sex. Does it get ever get any better?! Although my stitches are now healed it feels like it's ripping them open and afterwards I feel so bruised 'down there' I can barely move. Is this normal??

Annaspanna · Jan 10th, 2010, 03:45 AM

I dunno hun, i guess it takes longer for some people to heal down there. I had an episiotomy and then a third degree tear and I had sex about 8 weeks after. Although a little sore to start with (felt like It was ripping open) once I relaxed into it, it didn't really hurt at all. It still hurts a little at first now, but after a couple mins It feels normal again. Have you tried using extra lubrication?

I think the thought of it is sometimes worse, I just have to tell myself to relax!!

As for feeling bruised afterwards, I've never felt this so can't really help, but maybe just take things a bit slower...if it is really bad though maybe go see your GP if you are worried xx

Rebaby · Jan 12th, 2010, 09:40 AM

I just wanted to send you my sympathies

I had a normal delivery but Toby came out with his arm up by his head and i had a 2nd degree tear and stitches. We waited 7 weeks before trying to have sex and it was excruciating the first time and a total disaster. We've only tried again twice since then and it has been a little less painful each time but not much. I don't think there's anything wrong down there in terms of infections or anything, it just feels very very tight (sorry if tmi) and sensitive.

I really hope it does get better with time!

brandonsgirl · Jan 13th, 2010, 16:12 PM

oo. I have been wondering how long after birth people generally have sex. So this is in interesting thread. Although is there an average time DR/MW say you should wait?
Obviously im not going to be wanting sex the second LO is born, im just curious lol

moomin_troll · Jan 13th, 2010, 16:18 PM

zane was back to back and i also had a episiotomy and i was so scared about having sex. we didnt attempt it till zane was 12 weeks, we took it very slowly and it wasnt too bad for me.

i dont think theres anything wrong with u as everyone is different but talk to ur hv or gp if ur very worried. but 16 months on and everything is back where it shud be lol and its fine so it will get better for u x

moomin_troll · Jan 13th, 2010, 16:22 PM

the normal time is 6 weeks but some mad ppl do it before this, a mate of mine only waited 2 weeks

brandonsgirl · Jan 13th, 2010, 16:33 PM

wow 2 weeks is very soon lol. I would be worried about bleeding everywhere or (this is going to sound very vain) but i would worry about being really loose (if you get what i mean) i mean we had just pushed a baby out from there.
Urgh reading this back i sound so vain lol.

moomin_troll · Jan 13th, 2010, 16:37 PM

haha u dont sound vain at all.

i was very worried about that but if u keep up on ur pelvic floor exercises then it will all go back to normal, its amazing really.

concidering what our bodies go thru ud think wed be left like a bucket for life lol

brandonsgirl · Jan 13th, 2010, 16:43 PM

haha lol thats how i was imagining it to be. But i guess you always think the worse anyways. Was worried it was going to be like a cave entrance or something lol :0
What kind of pelvic floor exercises would you recommend?

Jan 9th, 2010, 21:29 PM	#1
shayandbump Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Bedfordshire, England Posts: 826	Sex after the birth I had quite a difficult birth; my Daughter was back-to-back so I ended up having an episiotomy & assisted delivery (ventuose). She's now just over 15 weeks old and it's still incredibly painful to have sex. Does it get ever get any better?! Although my stitches are now healed it feels like it's ripping them open and afterwards I feel so bruised 'down there' I can barely move. Is this normal??

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Jan 10th, 2010, 03:45 AM	#2
Annaspanna Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1,236	I dunno hun, i guess it takes longer for some people to heal down there. I had an episiotomy and then a third degree tear and I had sex about 8 weeks after. Although a little sore to start with (felt like It was ripping open) once I relaxed into it, it didn't really hurt at all. It still hurts a little at first now, but after a couple mins It feels normal again. Have you tried using extra lubrication? I think the thought of it is sometimes worse, I just have to tell myself to relax!! As for feeling bruised afterwards, I've never felt this so can't really help, but maybe just take things a bit slower...if it is really bad though maybe go see your GP if you are worried xx

Status: Offline

Jan 12th, 2010, 09:40 AM	#3
Rebaby Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 4,698	I just wanted to send you my sympathies I had a normal delivery but Toby came out with his arm up by his head and i had a 2nd degree tear and stitches. We waited 7 weeks before trying to have sex and it was excruciating the first time and a total disaster. We've only tried again twice since then and it has been a little less painful each time but not much. I don't think there's anything wrong down there in terms of infections or anything, it just feels very very tight (sorry if tmi) and sensitive. I really hope it does get better with time!

Status: Offline

Jan 13th, 2010, 16:12 PM	#4
brandonsgirl Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Wanting to come home to England Posts: 3,312	oo. I have been wondering how long after birth people generally have sex. So this is in interesting thread. Although is there an average time DR/MW say you should wait? Obviously im not going to be wanting sex the second LO is born, im just curious lol

Status: Offline

Jan 13th, 2010, 16:18 PM	#5
moomin_troll Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: staffordshire Posts: 14,583	zane was back to back and i also had a episiotomy and i was so scared about having sex. we didnt attempt it till zane was 12 weeks, we took it very slowly and it wasnt too bad for me. i dont think theres anything wrong with u as everyone is different but talk to ur hv or gp if ur very worried. but 16 months on and everything is back where it shud be lol and its fine so it will get better for u x

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Jan 13th, 2010, 16:22 PM	#6
moomin_troll Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: staffordshire Posts: 14,583	the normal time is 6 weeks but some mad ppl do it before this, a mate of mine only waited 2 weeks

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Jan 13th, 2010, 16:33 PM	#7
brandonsgirl Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Wanting to come home to England Posts: 3,312	wow 2 weeks is very soon lol. I would be worried about bleeding everywhere or (this is going to sound very vain) but i would worry about being really loose (if you get what i mean) i mean we had just pushed a baby out from there. Urgh reading this back i sound so vain lol.

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Jan 13th, 2010, 16:37 PM	#8
moomin_troll Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: staffordshire Posts: 14,583	haha u dont sound vain at all. i was very worried about that but if u keep up on ur pelvic floor exercises then it will all go back to normal, its amazing really. concidering what our bodies go thru ud think wed be left like a bucket for life lol

Status: Offline

Jan 13th, 2010, 16:43 PM	#9
brandonsgirl Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Wanting to come home to England Posts: 3,312	haha lol thats how i was imagining it to be. But i guess you always think the worse anyways. Was worried it was going to be like a cave entrance or something lol :0 What kind of pelvic floor exercises would you recommend?

Status: Offline

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