Feeling a bit humbug at the moment. Love my little Frances to bits and she is truly my little princess, but I feel so damn 'lost'.
I'm breastfeeding, OH is superb and does so much stuff, but I feel like I'm not doing it right. She's feeding well, and up until now she would feed then sleep, and that was it. Now however she is really looking round (she is 2 weeks and 4 days today) and will not settle when she used to and stays awake for a bit. However, I simply don't know what to do with her. I hold her and she's fine, but if I put her down she becomes grumpy and cries. She did this just now and was doing the mouth thing, so I fed her a bit, then she started to doze off, so put her into her basket and now she is whinge / sleepy, and I know will eventually fall asleep.

So really my question is, what should I be doing with her in the bits where she is now alert and looking around? What will entertain her at such a young age? I've walked around talking to her, but this will just go on for the whole time until the next feed. I need to wee, eat, drink etc, which I'm not doing. OH is out today, so it's all magnified when it wouldn't normally be. However, he's off back to work in 2 weeks and I'm getting scared of being on my own.

Add to this the fact that I've gone from working full time to this - plus I can't yet drive as I had a c section (that was all fine, so no trauma there and healing well).

Sorry for the whinge, a lot of issues here I'm sure, just feel rather useless and empty.

Have you tried swaddling hun or maybe a sling to wear her? It's a scary world for them on their own so it's all perfectly normal- but hard work! Trust me I know hehe.

Your doing a great job, just take each day at a time hun xxx

I felt just like this when my LO was that age. I had no clue what to do really and everyone around me seemed to know everything and I just felt crap. It was really hard when OH went back to work as it was just us for most of the day. I found the following things really helped me:
Go out everyday - I have a dog so we went for a walk everyday no matter what the weather. Some days I would drive to the supermarket in the late afternoon to get one thing - jsut to get out. The days I stayed in all day were awful. Fresh air also helps LO sleep. To start with the walks were really short.
Ask people to cook some dinners - my MIL made a huge batch that I could manage to rewarm when OH came home from work. So we ate well and I still felt like I was copying.
A baby carrier really helped - can you wear one with the c-section?
Let her sleep on you if you can stand being stationary on the sofa - you can rest and she is too little to learn bad habits.
we were given one rattle like toy which she would like to listen too.
Get a swing - took mine a week to like it but briliant now.

It is hard to go from work to baby - i have had to accept that some days all I can do is pacify her and nothing else. It does get better. My LO is 10 weeks old and I do get tons mpore done around the house - even she she is awake!

Keep going - the time soon flies

I could have written this post myself! Abigail is two weeks oldnow and has started to be more alert in the day and sleep less, but she also grizzles and fusses more and even when she is just awake and looking around I am not sure what to do with her either! I feel bad leaving her lying on her mat or sitting in her chair but at the same time I can't just sit and talk to her all day, when she was sleeping all the time it was easier but now I don't know whether I should be talking to her all the time, carying her around or what! I have tried her in a baby carrier but every time I put her in it she just screams. It is a baby bjorn type thing where she faces into my chest so I have ordered a sling type one off the internet which was not too expensive, where she will be cradled looking outwards, I am hoping she will like this more and I will be able to carry her around with me. LIke you I am BF and sometimes it seems like whenever I pick her up she just wants to feed, and settles much better when OH picks her up. He has not gone back to work yet but is starting back at the weekend and to be honest I am dreading it as I am nervous about being on my own with her all day if she is fractious and difficult to settle. LIke you I have also gone from working full time in quite a successful job to this and I feel very out of my depth! I am sure that all this is normal as it is such a massive change but it takes some getting used to. People say it gets easier so I am trusting that it will do in time! Hang in there, I am sure we will get through it.

I remember Leyla being like that... her vibrating bouncer saved my sanity I think! At that age, all they really need to keep them entertained is your face - babies that young just love looking at you, no matter what you're doing. I used to lie on the sofa with her on the floor close by in her bouncer. She could still see me and the bouncer soothed her, and I either got to sleep or watch TV or something.

Don't worry about when your OH goes back to work. Two weeks is an awful long time in terms of baby development and I bet your LO will be completely different by then and more able to entertain herself (with a book propped up by her, or a hanging toy or anything really!).

If you're feeling low, make sure you get some time to yourself. Could you feed Frances then get your OH to take her and you do something nice like a long hot bath or a DVD in bed or something? Your OH can bring LO to you if she needs feeding. I always find that just a few hours without having to think about baby stuff makes me feel 100% better.

Hope you feel better soon. It does pass, honest!

I love your daughter's name by the way. My middle name is Frances and I don't think I've ever met another one.

Thanks everyone!! It's so nice to know what I'm going through is normal and to be expected - you have no idea how reassuring that is. RachelC - it is a nice name, and I only know one other Frances who is my dad's cousin, and unlike all names we ruled out because we knew one, we liked her so that was an added bonus!!

Spoke with my mum earlier and she turned up on the doorstep which was lovely and I'm now having a nice long bath. Managed to get her off to sleep and have tidied bedroom and have got some of the house in order - so a Good Idea Rachel - and has made a difference.

I've not got a sling, but did try her in her babybjorn - whinged, but I think that's because she can't yet hold her head up enough.

Ordered a play gym mat thing on amazon (with her sitting on lap watching my face as you rightly point out!) so hopefully that will entertain her a bit!

Cattia - funny how your experience is near enough exactly the same as mine, not good for us, but at least it could be called normal now.

Yes, it will pass, just think it got on top of me. As soon as I can I will start to get out more with her, I just need to feel confident with it and getting back in the car in 2 weeks will help immensly!

When OH goes back to work I think things will be a bit different and hopefully we will know each others ways a bit better. She has to get used to me as much as I have to get used to her. Just hope we like one another!

Again, thank you for the comments, I feel much happier in myself, and it's made a huge difference to how I feel today x x

trust yourself, you will do just fine all your baby needs right now is love from you, (besides the obvious feedings and changings) you will know what your baby needs and all babys are different so get to know your LO. just spend time with her and look into her eyes when she is being alert.

Hi eeyore

Thanks for this post... i've been feeling exactly the same and gtting scared i have pnd or something, so it's good to know it's quite normal to feel like this.

Hang in there - we'll all get there!

Just a quick update - feel much much better now (LO is 4 weeks today). Still bloody hard, but somehow it's now the norm, not a shock. Think my initial feelings and crying were due to hormones and shock to the system. Have bought a playmat (haven't used yet) and a babybjorn bouncy chair which she seems to love and does give some restpite from the mayhem! Think that getting some feedback from her will make all the difference and hopefully that will be soon!

I too could have written this OP word for word - its soo bloody hard at that age isn't it.

I think also for me the fact that I worked full time and was super independent and then suddenly was stuck on the couch pumping or feeding, couldn't drive, leave the house or baby and hardly sleeping. Mega shock to the system having to ask him indoors to do everything for me.

I'm making it my mission to warn every pregnant person I know to watch out for this period of time and that it WILL pass and you aren't cracking up.