Traumatic births - Page 6

**OmarsMum** · Jan 12th, 2010, 18:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledahlia

angelstardust did you have PND?

I think i felt a bit like that when i first saw her, i was a bit like, oh, shes mine? but i was just basically given a baby.. i didnt feel like she was mine untill i had skin to skin with her later on.

so many people seem to have bad/rough times, does it put anyone off having another?

I was planning ttc after 1 yr from having my 1st LO, but after what happen during my delivery, I decided to wait for 3yrs

angelstardust · Jan 13th, 2010, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledahlia

angelstardust did you have PND?

I think i felt a bit like that when i first saw her, i was a bit like, oh, shes mine? but i was just basically given a baby.. i didnt feel like she was mine untill i had skin to skin with her later on.

so many people seem to have bad/rough times, does it put anyone off having another?

Not PND, I was just numb. Post traumatic stress was diagnosed when he was a year old, one year too late for me.

With everything that happened, I was told NOT to have any more, they have no idea how I survived because I should be dead so in the words of my consultant 'another would be suicide'. Although that another issue, I was told what happened, how serious it was and that I should be dead several times over, and then left in a room on my own for 2 hours till my DH came up to visit. This was a week after he was born and I was still very weak and ill.

And then 4 years later we had a huge shock that my minera had failed and I was pregnant...

chuck · Jan 13th, 2010, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledahlia

I think i felt a bit like that when i first saw her, i was a bit like, oh, shes mine? but i was just basically given a baby.

I felt like that, I still do, I did have skin to skin, it wasn't offered I had to ask but I was literally numb from the spinal I could feel my arms and that was it.

I was shown him in theatre but only after a few minutes when he was wrapped up - they didn't lift him over the curtain for me to see, I kinda feel like he could be anyone's, I wasn't able to see him or feel him enter the world I could hardly welcome him to the world stuck on that bed alone with a spinal making me completely numb and the theatre team not speaking to me. I didn't even get to see my husband greet his son.

He's here and I care for him greatly but I don't really feel like he is MY son yet, I cant seem to link him to the baby I carried for 9 months. It's weird.

FemmeEnceinte · Jan 13th, 2010, 08:59 AM

I was so exhausted after being awake for days and then having to go through an induction that I passed out pretty much as soon as she was born. I kept looking at her thinking "aw, baby" and then going back to sleep. I was too out of it to feel like "wow, that's MY baby", but then when they took her away from me when she was a few hours old I cried so hard that I sort of knew then that we'd bonded and not to worry about feeling so tired and out of it.

But, they do say it can take months to properly bond with your baby so what you're feeling isn't unusual Chuck.

chuck · Jan 13th, 2010, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FemmeEnceinte

But, they do say it can take months to properly bond with your baby so what you're feeling isn't unusual Chuck.

I know...the sad thing is I know all of this, I know its going to take me a good few eeks/months to get over things and start feeling better physically/emotionally/mentally etc, I've done my reading I've spoken to the MW and HV but arrrgghhh knowing its all normal doesn't help. I just feel more frustrated that I do feel like it despite knowing it because of the section/hormones what ever.

I have a history of depression so I know the warning signs and I'm trying not to dwell on things and let my thinking fall into those old routines but its hard right now.

I'm hoping the counselling and birth after thoughts sessions and eventually being able to et out of the darned house will help before things get too bad again.

purpledahlia · Jan 13th, 2010, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuck

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledahlia

I think i felt a bit like that when i first saw her, i was a bit like, oh, shes mine? but i was just basically given a baby.

I felt like that, I still do, I did have skin to skin, it wasn't offered I had to ask but I was literally numb from the spinal I could feel my arms and that was it.

I was shown him in theatre but only after a few minutes when he was wrapped up - they didn't lift him over the curtain for me to see, I kinda feel like he could be anyone's, I wasn't able to see him or feel him enter the world I could hardly welcome him to the world stuck on that bed alone with a spinal making me completely numb and the theatre team not speaking to me. I didn't even get to see my husband greet his son.

He's here and I care for him greatly but I don't really feel like he is MY son yet, I cant seem to link him to the baby I carried for 9 months. It's weird.

same here about the curtain and spinal etc, I didnt get to see her for what seemed like ages, they took her away and wrapped her up etc then gave her to my mum only then did i get to see her, then my mum Ava and the mw went back to my labour room and they did her weight and cleaned her up etc and i was left in theatre alone for ages being dewn back up. Then eventually taken back to the labour room and i got skin to skin. Was left on the induction drip and one other for 3 hours afterwards aswell. eventually taken to the ward at 4am - she was born at 9 30!

pip holder · Jan 13th, 2010, 09:14 AM

Chuck I felt/feel the same

I posted in the PND thread last night but no one has answered as yet. I don't know what to do but thats EXACTLY how I felt after section and then struggled massively with feeding

dizzyspells · Jan 13th, 2010, 09:18 AM

I had an awful Birth with my 1st and we both nearly didnt make it its a long story and still upsets me to talk about it and its over 6yrs ago.I was so scared when we decided to try for another 5yrs later but I voiced my fears and although I was induced early I actually had a good experience this time.x

chuck · Jan 13th, 2010, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pip holder

Chuck I felt/feel the same

I posted in the PND thread last night but no one has answered as yet. I don't know what to do but thats EXACTLY how I felt after section and then struggled massively with feeding

Feeding after a section or at least trying to BF after is hard. I had my hand forced into FF by lack of assistance/care when I really needed it right after the section.

purpledahlia · Jan 13th, 2010, 09:54 AM

same here.

Jan 13th, 2010, 08:59 AM	#54
FemmeEnceinte Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,903	I was so exhausted after being awake for days and then having to go through an induction that I passed out pretty much as soon as she was born. I kept looking at her thinking "aw, baby" and then going back to sleep. I was too out of it to feel like "wow, that's MY baby", but then when they took her away from me when she was a few hours old I cried so hard that I sort of knew then that we'd bonded and not to worry about feeling so tired and out of it. But, they do say it can take months to properly bond with your baby so what you're feeling isn't unusual Chuck.

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Jan 13th, 2010, 09:14 AM	#57
pip holder Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,908	Chuck I felt/feel the same I posted in the PND thread last night but no one has answered as yet. I don't know what to do but thats EXACTLY how I felt after section and then struggled massively with feeding

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Jan 13th, 2010, 09:18 AM	#58
dizzyspells Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Skipton but soon will be Spain again! Posts: 7,670	I had an awful Birth with my 1st and we both nearly didnt make it its a long story and still upsets me to talk about it and its over 6yrs ago.I was so scared when we decided to try for another 5yrs later but I voiced my fears and although I was induced early I actually had a good experience this time.x

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Jan 13th, 2010, 09:54 AM	#60
purpledahlia Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 14,871	same here.

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