I had a bit of trauma during the birth. I didnt realise how much it affected me until about 2 months later. I kept thinking about it over and over again and questioning my husband about exactly what had happened. They had to call for the crash team and i kept asking who exactly all the people were etc etc. In the end i couldnt even drive past the hospital without feeling like breaking down in tears.

My husband called my HV in the end and they sent me to the local crisis team. It all changed from there and i feel far more positive about it. It is hard but it'll get easier as time goes on.

Still never having another one mind ;-)

xx

I had a horrific experience with Emma, And after a totally easy birth with Taylor it came as such a shock!

After a full day of labour and things going wrong I ended up having a crash c section with Emma. Totally not what I had planned. It's awful thinking back to it but we are both healthy now and I try not to think about it too much - Which is hard.

I am still not over mine at all. They found severe pre-eclampsia when I was in labour at 39+5 and had to rush all over the place - give me drugs to take my BP down, induce me to get it going cut me and use forceps in the end. Imogen's heart rate went SO low and it was terrifying. I still can't talk about it without wanting to just cry.

I really want to write a birth story but i cant bring myself to do it, i tried in hospital and it took me 5 days to write around a 3rd, My NCT class teacher stopped by before we left the hospital and without me knowing was telling my mum its been proven recently that a lot of people around 6 weeks after giving birth if they feel the same as i do now are getting wrongly diagnosed with pnd when its actually post traumatic stress, i dunno if i have either, but i just feel like crying all the time when i think about it. Its not even so much the fact it ended in a section, i kinda always knew it would, its more all the 4 days and build up and everything that happened before it. Then after when i was in hospital. I discharged myself on xmas eve and now on 8 pills 3 times a day and im worried my wound is getting infected, still really ill. I just wish it had been simpler and quicker, i made the mistake of telling the first person who visited kinda each thing and nearly fainted and spiked a temp /dizzy/sick etc. Just not sure what im meant to do now..

Hi hun it does get easier i promise

I went for a sweep and went straight into labour after but at that appt we found out i had pre eclampsia so they wanted me straight in, went home came back was 5cm but they still put the drip on to induce me. Had no time for pain relief just gas and air had a strap round my belly had an episotomy and ventouse delivery then ha a massive post partum bleed (2l loss) then to top it off i went to maternity high dependancy and had more drama there where a family memberburst in on me when i was so not ready. Was shaking all the time was really scared.

It affected me for a while and when i look back i do feel sad the delivery was not how i wanted but i tell you once i got m first smiles and laughs i soon forget.

I would sat, treat yourself very, very gently. Allow your mum to look after you. Take up every offer of support you need. If it's possible, don't attempt to do anything other than feed and change and bond with Ava.

I've had PTSD, though not associated with giving birth (which was far from what I wanted, though not traumatic as such)... and so honestly I feel for you.

From what I've read, the best way to prevent PTSD from developing is to talk about the painful or traumatic experiences. So as much as it feels too much for now, it's something that will help in the long term. It doesn't have to be to a professional, and it doesn't have to be face to face. Maybe you could talk to your NCT class leader? Or post your birth story here as you feel able to write it, just a few sentences at a time..? Hypnosis really helped me, too.

I had a horrendous experience (baby was born just over 2 weeks ago) and I find it extremely difficult to talk about it. I cry constantly even just thinking about it and the couple of people who I have managed to tell have welled-up too which makes me even more upset so I've not told anyone else.

I went to see a psychotherapist to ask advice as to what I should do with regards to dealing with it and she said I'm suffering post-traumatic stress and should talk to my GP (which I don't want to do as I've completely and utterly lost faith in the medical profession). She also advised that I should try and talk about it as often as possible as part of the healing process. She helped me identify a lot of the feelings I was experiencing but perhaps not recognising - anger, guilt, grief, helplessness, fear - and suggested counselling. I'm trying to find a counsellor that specialises in traumatic birth experiences but I still don't feel ready to talk about it all fully yet, so will maybe leave it a couple of months. Everything just feels so muddled in my head and there's so much information to sift through and try and make sense of.

I'm just taking it a day at a time, some days I can't even look at my baby without crying and others I feel better about it. We've all been through shocking experiences and it's going to take time to get over it. Perhaps if you can't bring yourself to talk about it, you could write everything down? Write your feelings in a journal every day so that there's at least some kind of outlet. Most of all though, be nice to yourself, take care of you and the baby and don't force yourself to talk about anything you don't want to...

Big hugs,
Els xx

Hiya hun

I can sympathise. My birth was moreorless straightforward (but horrendous pain, 2 days prior in early labour, vomiting constantly, couldn't speak until I had the epidural), but it was what happened immediately after. My waters had meconium in, and my LO had inhaled meconium whilst in the birth canal. So when he was born I got a brief glimpse of him before they realised he was having trouble breathing and they didn't know why. He ended up on antibiotics in SCBU for a week. Not at all what I had expected.- I expected my first night in hospital was for my baby to be by my side in his cot, not downstairs in SCBU. I felt cheated and I well up everytime I read a birth story where everything goes to plan.


I hope next time it will be different. Maybe speak to your Health Visitor? xx

It is scary if you keep revisiting a traumatic experience. when I tell people my birth story they sometimes say how lucky I am cos it was quick, but tbh I still feel when I think about it,,,,,I was driving by myself in a rural area when my waters broke 5 weeks early, I got to my mw's office and he came out there and then on her couch, breech and not breathing. It will get better hun, but maybe try nd talk to someone, in the meantime spoil yourself!
xx

My whole pregnancy was traumatic and not at all what I'd hoped for. After three losses I'd looked forward to enjoying my pregnancy and couldn't wait to meet my little one.

I'd been alking a lot to build up stamina, my epilepsy was under reasonable control, and we planned a home water-hypno birth.

4 months in I had dsp, seizures had gone astronomically bad, and I was told I had pre-eclampsia. By the end of my 5th month I was in a wheelchair, had developed gestational diabetes, and oedema so bad I couldn't even bend my knees.

7 and a half months I developed swelling and major pain in genital area and was told it was a bartholins abscess.

8 months I was in hospital in severe agony, I couldn't move an inch without screaming.

It turned out that the swelling (which by now was 3 swellings, each the size of a tennis ball) was actually pooled blood due to constriction of abdominal veins preventing blood flow up to my heart.

A few days later I had a complete placental abruption and an emergency c-section with an epidural that although helped tremendously, in no way took away all the pain.

I then found out if they'd left the c-section till the next day as they'd planned to, we wouldn't have survived the night as I had tremendous internal bleeding due to the abruption and next to no blood getting up to my heart.

After the birth I was left in pain frequently by night staff who refused to help me when needed or to administer pain relief when it was due. At one point I was left for 3 and a half hours in agony despite the fact I was meant to have morphine topped up every 4 hours due to all the pain I was in with everything that had happened.

I got no support for breast feeding or expressing and have ended up formula feeding as a result which I really didn't want to do - not that there's anything wrong with it, just that after everything I thought it would be essential to build up that bond between us. Luckily we are still bomding very well

I was reccommended to stay in hospital over christmas and preferably new year, but was so unhappy with the care I was recieving I insisted on going home on Christmas eve so I could at least be at home with my partner where I knew I would at least be taken care of.

With everything that has happened I have been completely put off of having any more children, yet I am so thankful I have my gorgeous little Ruby. She was worth every moment of pain I had and still have.

I hated the whole experience, but I love being a mummy, and I feel lucky that we both survived.

Ruby is and always will be my miracle baby xxx